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I didn't have a csection but I can share my experience with an unexpected NICU stay and a 3y/o at the time.

We talked to my son a lot about what will happen when mommy goes to the hospital to have the baby. He came to visit right after I gave birth and we explained that little sis needed some extra care and would be home with us soon. We showed him pictures on my phone. I face timed him a lot while I was still in the hospital. Once I was released to go home my husband, my mom, and I took shifts at the NICU. My mom lives with us and DS was still at home/Grandma care at the time.

My husband would go visit Dd at the NICU ~4-5:00 am (they allow almost 24 hour visitation from parents except between 6-7? Am and pm When they changed shifts. He always went in the early morning before the night nurse got off her shift so he could get an update from her rather than hearing it from someone else. He would leave and go to work during that block of time that they did not allow visitors.

I would wake up and have breakfast with DS then quickly rush to the NICU by 9:00 because that's when the doctors did their rounds. I would always go home around noon to have lunch with DS and also pump. He was used to having lunch with me because I was only working part time at the time. Then I would put DS to nap because that was routine for us. As soon as he fell asleep I would rush back to the NICU and go home ~4:00 pm to switch with my mom who would stay at the NICU until they kicked her out during shift change. Again routine was that I always the one to prepare and have dinner and get ready for bedtime with DS. Once we put him to bed my husband and I would go back to the NICU together until -11pm-12am.

Every afternoon when I came home from the NICU I would share pictures and updates with him. To our family, keeping the routine so that we didn't throw DS into a frenzy causing tamper tantrum was the most important. I didn't need any other stress from him and we trusted and loved the NICU staff dearly!!

Our NICU also encouraged us to call for updates at anytime when we were not there. They also told me that I could pump in their lactation room.

I recommend bringing the boppy or whatever nursing pillow you love to the NICU if they allow you to try to nurse. After they took out DDs breathing tube they allowed me to try to nurse her but would supplement if necessary. Pump as much as possible if you plan on breastfeeding. Fortunately I was able to pump enough for the two weeks of NICU time and they didn't have to give DD formula but I would have been ok with supplement with formula too.

I bought lots of new snacks and lots of little toys from the dollar store and dollar section at target. Whenever he was having a super hard time allowing me to pump or go the NICU one of those snacks or toys would magically pop up. I know this is not the best strategy but honestly I was tired and stressed and needed him off my back rather than dealing w him crying. Luckily none of Those extra little toys during the 2 weeks of NICU ruined him.

I had a repeat C-section when DS1 was 20 months old. About halfway through my pregnancy we shifted most toddler care to my husband. DH had already handled bathtime and half the bedtimes, but he went to doing almost all of the bedtime routine. He also did any MOTN waking or sick care for DS1 during my pregnancy. Most weekends, they had father/son dates to the park so I could rest, but also to cement "their" activities. We did this knowing I would have a C-section and a newborn to care for. DS1 is super routine driven, so this was key.

DS1 was my NICU baby. I liked having my Boppy there with me for nursing and also to sorta shield the incision. If you need to pump, they will provide one at the hospital, but not a pumping bra, so I would pack one if necessary. Both times post C-section, I was horrifically itchy from the meds leaving my system. The best thing I found was a combination of Aveeno cortisone cream (it was the longest lasting), with Benadryl itch GEL (fastest/easiest to apply). If your hospital doesn't provide a belly binder, I would buy one I found them very necessary the first 5-7 days. Oh, and for some reason, day 4 or 5 was when I had the WORST postpartum swelling after both C-sections. My legs were like logs - so gross. Don't be freaked out by it. Drink a LOT of water postpartum and get walking as soon as possible. I recovered extremely fast after both my sections. Also, DON'T be a hero - take your pain meds on schedule. The soreness doesn't really kick in for a few days and you don't want to be cavalier about the meds and then be dying 5 days later. I was on a combo of Norco and heavy ibuprofen for about 10 days to 2 weeks, and then I was able to wean to just ibuprofen.

You also want a 10ft iPhone cord and a good hand cream because you have to wash your hands constantly in NICU. I liked wearing a nursing tank with DH's huge zipper hoodie on top for clothing. I could nurse quickly and zip up, or I could pump while wearing the zip up over the pump gear. Your baby will likely be in a diaper, but I found hand-knit hats stayed on better than the hospital hats, and sometimes they let you put on booties or socks. If your child can be dressed and they need lines in, you want snap sleepers or kimono shirts, not zipper PJs. If you will be sleeping at the hospital in a NICU parent's room or something, I'd bring a sleep mask with me.

At this age, you could talk to your son in advance about how Mommy will have a big owie on her belly and that he can't touch it. You can even give him Bandaids or something to put on your shirt for you if you want. It may be something you work on as your pregnancy proceeds (i.e. not let him sit in your lap, let him side right next to you instead, teach him to be gentle with the pregnant belly, etc) so that its not that different once the baby arrives. I also kept a pillow or Boppy in my lap for a long time after the baby was born to block my toddler.