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I would ask for how long are they supoosed to sit/trace?! If it is a letter or two, I would expect that, but for worksheets at a time, no!

Welcome to traditional school. Yes, there is coloring and tracing in preschool. Parent attitude especially if overheard by child can negatively impact the situation as well as just natural inclinations/temperament/strengths of your child. This is an opportunity to begin coaching your child to succeed in the current school or pull them out and move to another. I don’t think you will be able to change the minds nor imagine that they come up with a different thing for your child, each time the class is participating in seat work. They may allow it but it may not be beneficial in the school adjustment strategy long-term.

My son is 3 and his preschool is play-based. They DO have learning stations for about 10-15 minutes at a time, but nothing super intensive. However, I think if the homework is not mandatory, I wouldn't really worry about it.

For me personally, if I got a note saying my son didn't want to sit still during a station or that he just scribbled instead of tracing, I would WANT that information. I wouldn't necessarily think the teacher was passing judgement because I think most people agree that developmentally, sitting still and having great fine motor skills isn't age appropriate. But I DO think that its worth knowing that my kid DOESN'T or CAN'T do certain things yet.

For me, if I got that note, I personally would start working at home with him on learning to sit still for small increments or finding a way to learn the fine motor skill in some other way that's more fun. For example, I might invite my son to do Magnatiles at the kitchen table with me and pay attention to the clock. If he can do it for 10-15 minutes at a time, that's a learning station, so I'd end it after that mark and then we'd transition to something fun like a snack or running around. If they wanted him to do tracing, I might get out a worksheet with a letter or number on it and then invite him to "trace" the letter by lining up raisins along the shape of the word. Or count blueberries. Or whatever.

I've noticed my son doesn't want to sit still and do something if he is frustrated about NOT being able to do it. But once he has the inkling that he CAN do it, he's off and running and wants to do it all the time. So I try to engage him in a way where he can just TRY to do it and see if it doesn't take off on its own.

So yeah, I'm not crazy about a school that sends home homework or expects my kid to sit still, and it may be that another school might be a better fit for your family, but I wouldn't necessarily be bothered by the e-mail. I'd want that info.

That is not the environment i would want my kid in either FWIW. Our sons Montessori school has children doing “work” but it is self chosen and they can do it for however long they want before moving onto another work (after putting the old work away). Watching it unfold is fascinating. I’ve seen this approach really extend my older 2 yo’s attention span. But even in the next classroom up, work is self chosen and it’s still primarily play based- work is chosen if they are interested in it. I think it’s helpful to know this school isn’t aligned with what you want for your kid and as such maybe it’s time to look for a different option.

I agree with others that there is probably not much you can do to change this school's philosophy.

That being said oh hell yes I'd be annoyed to get even an optional homework packet at that age. I'm dreading dealing with homework once my kids are in public school. I'm a teacher myself and I'm pretty anti-homework (though I do assign a small amount to my high school students).

I would want to know more about what the purpose of the teacher's note was. Do they think your son's (normal) behavior is a problem that you need to address somehow? I mean I don't really see why else they'd tell you but I think it warrants further discussion.

This is kind of annoying for three year olds. DS did start getting similar homework at three, but I don't think it's the norm around here - most day cares don't do it. He just happened to be in one where the 3-4 and 4-5 groups were together, doing the same program. I realized there's not much I can do since this is how they were organized, but I was mad because DH took it very seriously, and insisted that the poor kid should do every single sheet, and neatly I kept having to remind DH that when he was three, he was making mud pies, and that back then kids who knew their letters by five were considered gifted.

I think homework packets at that age are completely inappropriate. My reaction would depend on all the other circumstances at school but I wouldn't push the homework.

ETA, gonna be honest, unless my kid was really attached to other kids or teachers or they would have a really hard time adjusting.. I'd be looking for a new school in all likelihood.

As an educator, this would be a huge red flag and I would seriously consider changing schools over it. OTOH walking into the 2 year old room to find them doing flash cards with DD one day was one reason we decided not to send her to her previous daycare for preschool (we ended up moving anyway and are delaying preschool).

Closed-ended worksheets are not developmentally appropriate for 3 or 4 years. This isn’t the work I do now, but I’ve been trained in some child care quality assessment scales, and I feel like this is one of the biggest misconceptions about “school readiness”— these are not appropriate activities and I would guess most likely just make kids have negative associations with “school” or “homework” in the future. Play-based learning isn’t just a matter of parental preference, empirical child development research supports it.

It is extremely difficult to FORCE a child to learn at any age. We can only provide structure, resources and opportunities. I think if all children at school are doing it and your child isn’t then you need to coach your child but stopping before the point of frustration (yours or your child’s). You can help them write (sometimes crudely) when they are either three or four or five. But at some point you will need to get involved because a teacher can’t be in 24 places at once with the feedback necessary to develop writing skills to the extent a parent or caregiver can. Other options aside from finding another placement or changing school philosophy is to gain tools and whatever support you need to better help your child. The onus is shared between the child, parent and the school. You control your side. (Not necessarily your child’s, although you are an influence.) There is more to do besides just put pressure on school.

@sharpie: He should have gotten a sticker for sitting!

Take your child out of this environment as soon as possible!