Hey ladies! We are swiftly approaching my LO's first birthday and I have found myself thinking a lot about TTC #2. I would really like to hear from those of you with 2 under 2: what are the pros and cons? Also, what was it like being pregnant and caring for LO1?
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I have two who are 23 months apart and two who are 22 months apart, and I love it! My kids are close, but not too close. My next oldest (my first when my second was born, and my second when my third was born) was much more self-sufficient. They were young enough to not be jealous, but old enough to play by themselves. I LOVE this age gap!
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Pros: I feel like my kids are best friends. They are 17 months apart and when we brought DD home, DS was really good at helping me with simple tasks--get a burp rag, get a diaper. Same age but different genders so we were also able to reuse all our gear from the year before.
cons: I WOH so two in daycare is crazy $$$. At the same time, DH and I always joke had we waited and figure in the cost of rising daycare we are getting a good deal.
Raising two under two hasn't been hard for me. It's been a huge joy and I love seeing my son and daughter grow closer. Def wouldn't have done it any other way.
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I have two 17 months apart. I wouldn't say its all smooth sailing. And I wouldn't say my kids are BFFs either - lo1 is CONSTANTLY tackling LO2!!
Benefits - I don't know. It just is what it is. I guess the biggest benefit is I have LO2. And when LO1 hit the terrible twos, we were well past the newborn stage!
Cons - I couldn't afford to keep working because of daycare costs. It's also pretty constantly tiring. Someone allllways needs something. But now that they are getting older its s lot more fun! That being said, we will wait longer beforenumber 3.
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@MamaBehr:
@matador84:Thanks! I love hearing that people are happy with the way things worked out for them!
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Mine are 22 months apart and I love it! My oldest is such a great helper (though she does love DS a little too much at times via hu holds).
Not sure if is a pro or not but DD doesn't remember the time before her brother so she has no issues with him. It is great because she was still is at the age where helping mum is fun
Plus they both nap...at the same time! I love the gap.
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We really thought about the same thing but ended up waiting a little longer and then taking a long time for me to get pregnant but I have to say I have heard a lot of great things about the 3y age gap we're going to have and I'm glad dd was our only for awhile. I think its just up to your preferences. Either way if you have two there will be the baby stage all over again and it seems almost impossible to me to predict when your lo1 will be easiest. I'm still just pregnant with #2 but fwiw I think you should just do what feels right. I don't think 2 is some magical number where if you wait til lo1 is 2 it'll be necessarily easier. If your heart is wanting them closer and you can afford it then do it. Pregnancy IMO is about as tiring with a 2 y/o as a 1 y/o assuming your first sttn. Only thing I'd say makes it easier is that lo1 will watch Daniel tiger these days.
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Mine are 1 day shy of 22 months apart. My youngest will be 14 months old in 2 days, and my oldest will be 3 years old in 3 days.
For me, pregnancy while taking care of my 13 month to 21 month old was ROUGH. I had HG and could barely function, and she was still truly, a baby. Then, the first entire year after my second was born, was really, really difficult. My eldest has some different needs and abilities, and my youngest is proving to be similar, so it's very hectic in my house, with a lot of jealousy from the get-go, and them having screaming meltdowns in chorus. I also had pretty bad PPD for that first year and minimal help/ family support, which I know was a huge factor to it being so difficult for me. They aren't great sleepers, and neither has ever napped well, so double naps were a rarity, and now never happen because my eldest no longer naps at all. It's made for very exhausting days being up all night with wake-ups and nursing, and no down time during the day since they don't nap in unison.
Once my youngest hit close to a year, things really started to change though: the baby was walking well and easier to get out of the house, and my girls have started to really enjoy each other and play and talk together. I look back over that crazy and difficult first year with pride, and am so glad we have our girls so close together. My sister and I are 2 weeks off of the same exact age difference, and we're best friends, and I see that happening with my girls, and it's a dream come true.
I guess I'm saying: Expect it to be hard, maybe even harder than you thought, and very sweaty...I feel like I'm always sweating as a mom of 2 toddlers under 2 years apart. But, it's so very rewarding, fun, joyous, and worth it all to see their sweet and special relationship developing and growing.
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Mine are 20 months apart.
Pros - they are each other's favorite people! The love and bond was instant. DS1 doesn't remember life before his brother. He really has never been jealous. I wanted to get the baby stage over with at once. I didn't want to be out of bottles and diapers and the start over.
Cons - it can be hard at times when both need you, but I imagine that would happen at any age. Those times are also getting fewer as they both get older. I'm exhausted most days, but I know that will lessen as they get older and can physically do more for themselves.
I really love the age gap and wouldn't change it.
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How do people's LOs not remember being the only child?! Mine still talks about it...wistfully! LOL!
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Oh and physically my 2nd pregnancy was 100 times easier than my 1st. I really didn't slow down until the 8-9 month when it really became hard to keep up with a toddler. I'm lucky that I have family to help.
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@erinpye: that's interesting that she remembers! Tough for you though. Mine are also one day shy of 22 months but she doesn't even remember sleeping in DS's crib. Says it is just his.
@mrsrain: to add to above- I had an easy pregnancy and a cautious easy going toddler which I am sure helped. Plus I have family nearby. Going to aim to have our third child close as well!
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@cheesetomywhine: We do not have family nearby, so that is one of my reservations... thankfully I do have a great support system of other mamas, but it's not quite the same!
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21 months apart. The older one doesn't really remember life without the younger-- makes for an easy transition. Also you get all the hard stuff out of the way all at once. I'm not going to lie-- going from 1-2 was much harder than going from 2-3, but the difficulty was over within a month or two.
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Mine are exactly 22 months apart, and I'm still in the early days - LO1 is 24 months and LO2 is 12 weeks.
Pros: Not a whole lot of jealousy from LO1 when LO2 came home. As LO2 is starting to smile and squeal, LO1 is super tickled by it and it makes me so excited for them to start playing together and to see their relationship grow.
Cons: Morning sickness with a 13/14 month old is no joke. Chasing a 21 month old around at 9 months pregnant is also an exercise in the absurd. Now that LO2 is here, I am so tired all the time. This is my second MSPI baby, so there's been a fair amount of fussiness and terrible sleep, which makes it hard to be patient with and a fun mom for my toddler. They rarely nap at the same time, LO2 is still only sleeping in 5 hour stretches at best, so after 12 weeks of that it's getting old. I SAH and have no family around, so my nerves are pretty shot some days by 6 PM.
Basically, I feel like I'm having the early days experience @erinpye: described and am just holding out hope/belief that easier days are ahead. I love the idea of the gap in the future and am happy we planned it this way, but I'm anxious to move beyond the newborn stage with LO2. I think things will be a lot more fun once he can at least hold up his head
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