My DH’s mom has a family friend whose like an aunt to my DH. The aunts husband has a daughter from a previous marriage who recently passed away. So the aunts stepdaughter who was in her late 50s. My husband is traveling for work so we can’t attend the funeral (3 hours away). I want to send a sympathy card to express our condolences. But do you add money?? . We’re Asian so we always give money at funerals but not sure for other traditions. Do you send a check? Gift card?
-
That is not a custom I have ever experienced, sometimes families will ask that instead of flowers you can send donations to a specific charity. Typically this relates to the way the person died or a cause they were supportive of or involved in. When my dad died we asked that people donate to their local volunteer fire dept because my dad had been a volunteer fireman for much of his adult life rather then send flowers. It would be odd to me to receive any type of money directly after the loss of a loved one.
-
In my circle, it is pretty common to get money- usually in the form of a check. It's supposed to help with the funeral costs. Often times though, people do request that instead, money be donated to a specific charity, or they donate the money they receive to a charity.
In your case though, I think you're good if you just send some nice flowers and a card if you'd like.
-
With that distant of a relationship, I would not send money.
Was he close to this Stepdaughter growing up? I'm not sure, based on the way you described it.
-
@snarkybiochemist problem is. We don’t know anything about her.
@desertdreams88 my Dh has never met her. So the aunt is Asian. The husband is Caucasian. Her daughter from first marriage lived nearby but I don’t think it was a close relationship. The money would be for funeral expenses I guess? The first wife passed away, the now deceased daughter never married and didn’t have any family.
-
@lahela017
If I were to send flowers, to their house? Funeral is today. I don’t even know where the funeral home is.
-
@misolee: I don't think you need to send flowers since the relationship sounds more distant than I realized. I would just send a card to their house.
-
@misolee: it isn’t uncommon to send money in sympathy cards in our area. HOWEVER, based on what you described, I would send only the card. I usually try to write a memory or something, but sounds like you’ve never met?
-
I would only send a card, based on these facts.
-
@misolee: just send a card, since you didn't really know the person who died
its often mentioned in the obituary if you really want to find out -
Check or GC is very nice, but not expected in my culture.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
10 comments