Sorry, this is long.

We’ve gone back and forth on sending our oldest daughter, an early June birthday, to school on time or to hold her back. Our school cutoff is early September.

Last year we really struggled with whether or not to send her to 4K, and for a variety of reasons, decided to go ahead.

I’ve been pretty happy with that decision and have noticed a huge amount of growth this year. We had conferences this week, and although nothing really bad was said, I’m going back and forth on whether we made the right decision.

Academically we have zero concerns. She’s at or above where she is expected to be in every area. She loves to be read to and is very attentive during story time. She is the kid who gets excited and wants to talk/share a lot, sometimes not on topic, although when I’ve been there volunteering, she’s not alone in that.

Socially is where I worry. She’s always been very independent and happy to play on her own, and her teachers noticed that as well. They mentioned that she doesn’t seek out anyone to play with and will go to all of the stations in the room on her own. If someone is there she might play with them, but she doesn’t seek it out. She’s not shy, and she has friends outside of class that she loves to play with, so it’s not that she doesn’t play or interact with kids, but in that setting she doesn’t show much interest. Because I overthink everything, there’s a part of me that’s concerned that she’s not interacting with others. On the other hand, I don’t think extra time is likely to change that. Both my husband and I are quite content to be alone too, and she’s a lot like us.

Another bigger reason I worry about her because she’s kind of oblivious, and I don’t know if that’s something that’s just her personality or if she’ll outgrow it if given time. For example, she is oblivious to the fact that her nose is running seemingly ALL the time this winter, despite the fact that we remind her constantly to wipe it. Her teachers said other kids have noticed, and that makes me sad for her. I wasn’t that concerned at first because I figured in 4K she couldn’t be the only one, but maybe she is. She’s also the kid outside eating snow...

She does spend most of her time outside of school at a small in home daycare, and the other kids there are her younger sister, a 1 year old, and a 3 year old. She’s BFF’s with the three year old, and sometimes I wonder if being around someone younger is a hindrance. If we did send her to another year of 4K, we would likely send her to an all day private 4K, so she would be around more kids her age, but it would be $$$.

In my gut, it’s her sweet, oblivious nature that makes me the most nervous. The playing alone doesn’t. But I don’t know if that’s something that’s really going to change with time.

Things she has going for her are that she is so independent and she’s also incredibly determined. If she wants to do something, she’ll do it. She also aims to please though, and wants to do well, and generally is very well behaved.

Anyone who has been down this road have any advice to share? If she were an August kid I would hold her for sure, but she’s three months before the cutoff. I really can’t tell if I want to hold her for legitimate reasons, or if I’m worrying too much about things that are simply her personality and won’t change over time.