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DD1 went thru this phase too. We kept reminding her during the dinner that if she doesn't eat dinner she won't get a snack afterwards. if she said she's done we repeat. I leave the plate on the counter and if she asks for a snack I tell her she can finish her food. Nothing else. I'm sure there were plenty of nights she went to bed hungry. There were also plenty of nights she got sent to her room if she didn't stop tantruming.

But DH & I are on the same page regarding this and was able to nip it in the butt and it didn't go on for long.

I think because your DH is giving in that's why she's throwing tantrums. She knows daddy will give in.

Up until age 4 (if I remember correctly) I would give them oatmeal before bed if they didn't eat dinner and was hungry. (I couldn't bring myself to send them to bed hungry )

After that age I would reheat their dinner or they get nothing at all - 99% of the time they will eat their reheated dinner and then still ask for a snack - which is fine with me

My oldest was a wisp, was in the 3rd percentile for weight and 50th for height. She was growing taller but not keeping much weight on. So .... we're a bit more lenient. We'll send them to their room at dinner If Theyre goofing around and not eating and then expect them to eat more when they come back down If they want dessert. But if they decide to forgo dessert we usually will give them plain whole milk yogurt with Cheerios or oatmeal in it with a glass or two of whole milk before bed.

We've had this come up a lot since about 3.5 years old or so. We take the bites and a dessert approach. It happens right before bedtime too. If he makes a "happy plate" or close to it, he gets a small dessert or snack, then off to bed. No food goes upstairs. It's been an ongoing battle, but being on the same page is absolutely key.

We try to always include something I KNOW she will eat at dinner. If she says she doesn't want dinner, that's fine, but she doesn't have to eat it. We tried doing an "eat this, get dessert" approach but I'm trying to cut out using food as a bribe- trying to get rid of the "veggies/dinner are bad, dessert is good" mentality. Occasionally we will serve dessert WITH dinner, and she eats what she wants. The only way she can have a snack (banana or crackers) before bed is if she's eaten her dinner so I know she is still hungry. May seem tough but it's helped a lot with the after dinner hungry whining.

We introduced a regular snack time about an hour after dinner. If she refuses to eat dinner but asks for other food, we tell her she has to wait until snack time. At snack time she gets the choice of two healthy options that I choose.

We have done a few things to battle this.
1. Plate left on the table.
2. No snacks before 7:15. So if we finish dinner by 6:15 and she wants a snack, too bad its not snack time.
3. Only healthy snacks (parent pick). This usually is a piece of fruit, slice of cheese, etc.

Have you tried cutting out the snacks before dinner so that she's definitely hungry when it's time to eat? I'd say she's playing you so I'd explain that there wont be anything to eat after dinner, make her a plate that you know includes foods she likes and then follow through. I know tantrums suck but I think this is probably one of those things that you just have to be consistent about - stay the course!

We are in this phase right now too. We try dinner again if he says he is hungry, and sometimes it works.

We also eat dinner early (bedtime is 2 hours after) so he always gets either a spoonful of peanut butter or a bit of banana before heading up to bed, which helps take the stress out of it some for me.

We tend to eat dinner later, which helps DD (who is 2.5) get hungry. If she wants a pre-dinner snack while I'm cooking, she can have some veggies or fruit. She has to give everything on her plate a try or she can't get up from the table. She is not allowed to have snacks after dinner, but she can have a little cup of milk before bedtime.

If my kids don't eat dinner, they don't get anything else. Period. We do the bedtime routine right after dinner so there is no opportunity for a snack.