Hellobee Boards

We have had to really try harder now that LO is here. It is really tough to connect when we are both stressed and tired and I'm feeling yuck.

I'm trying to wear things (the few things in my wardrobe that fit) that look good on me. It's hard because I have very few things that fit right. I put on a dress, makeup and did my hair this weekend and that made me feel really good.

I tell you what, though - it's really hard to want to get all dressed up when you know you're going to have to strip it all down to feed your child in less than 2.5 hours from when you got dressed!!

I definitely feel the same way! It sometimes feels like I have to try hard to get "in the mood". I definitely don't want to feel like romance is work!

It's a lot of work for us to. My libodo is shot right now, which I suspect is from nusring. DH and I discussed it and we're going to try for a date night every second week (weekly just won't work for us). And we try to have some TV free time after LO goes to bed at night where we can talk and connect about things that aren't TV or baby related and we can catch up about life.

I don't have much advice, but just wanted you to know you're not alone! We are finally at the point where LO is a lot less work (SSTN, fairly independent, etc.), but for some reason it's like... we've gone so long with very limited intimacy that it's almost like we have forgotten how to feel/what to do. It's really not great

The only thing that helps me feel better about myself is to make myself shower every morning and put on my make-up (doesn't have to be full face - just whatever makes you feel better!) and put on "real" clothes. Sometimes I feel silly because I won't even leave the apartment, or LO and I will just go to the supermarket. But it's just important for me to feel like my old self - particularly when a lot of my clothes don't fit. I guess I'm making the choice to have control over the things I am able to work with in the moment. But! This is kind of a side tangent.

One thing I want to work on with my husband is just being more intimate in small ways - i.e. giving more hugs and kisses and even sitting close to each other on the sofa (I know - how's THAT for depressing!). Because right now there's a lot of distance between us and I know we can't go from here to having a good sex life without working on the in-between.

@meredithNYC: The shower, dressing and make-up is good advice. Lately I haven't been taking very good care of myself, but the days I put myself together I definitely see a difference in my mood and confidence. The days I don't, I just feel yucky and tend to push DH away.

@mrbee... you are right that it is work at first! I just wish it was easier sometimes