After 4 months of E switching easily btwn breast and bottle she is showing a bottle preference or is in the middle of a nursing strike (its hard to tell). I would like her to still get some breastmilk (her diet will never be all since I don't produce enough) so for now I am going to pump for as long as I can and continue to supplement with formula. Its sad to think that this morning at 4am might have been the last time she breastfed. This is making me emotional but I am trying to remind myself that a) she is still getting some breast milk and b) now my husband can help more with feeding. I also need to remind myself that a happy growing baby is more important than how she gets her food and since she was screaming when I tried to force her to latch and then latching on and off repeatedly she was not happy and definitely not getting enough to grow. With pumping she might even get more breast milk and at least I will know exactly what she is getting,
Just needed to put this out in the universe since you all are some of the only people who will understand all of the emotions surrounding breastfeeding, pumping, and making sure you are doing right by your kid and yourself.