This morning my daughter told me that she watched a ponytail (tiny rubber band ponytail holder) go down the drain. I explained why we want nothing but water to go down the drain. 15 minutes later, sitting at breakfast, she told her dad, "I sent a ponytail down the drain and it's going to go into the water and it might hurt the dolphins and fishies and whales and turtles who swim there so Daddy, you need to go out on a boat and get it so it doesn't hurt anyone, okay?"
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My DS, 4, got in trouble yesterday at school. He said (with frustration) that he was going to give himself a spanking, because I wouldn't do it for him.
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Resurrecting this thread to add E's latest howler:
Last night, she took her nappy off in bed. We saw on the monitor so DH went up to put it back on. When he got in the room he discovered that she had pooped and nuggets were everywhere. He was furious and shouted down to me that he needed help - he was huffing and puffing and swearing to himself. I walked in the room and E announced "Look Mummy, I did a big crap". I couldn't stop laughing so she said it over and over.
Moral of the story, don't swear in front of a toddler no matter how furious you are!
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@Cherrybee: lol!!
Yesterday a waitress told us she loved our accents and asked where we were from.
DD said: "I'm from my house"Then today she told me "I don't need you today" which cracked me up because yes, kiddo, yes you do. Fact.
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Tonight I was feeling silly and started singing the Mentos song, and I got really into it. My son watched me with great interest. At the end he said "But what it mean mommy? What does it mean?"
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@travelgirl1: lately whenever I ask my LO where someone lives she responds with "at (their name)'s house!" Cracks me up so she keeps doing it.
@Cherrybee: oh dear! C has just started this and luckily hasn't done it with a poop diaper but I've already told her I will duct tape it. We used to do naps with no pants since she gets really hot but no more.
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Me: "we are going to a Christmas party!"
Her: "yay I am so excited!"
Me: "are you going to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?"
Her: "no!"
Me: "why not?"
Her: "I can't sit on his lap, Santa is not my friend!" -
DS is 20 months old so just started putting a couple words together. He says grandma as "mama" and grandpa as "papa". My mom was visiting and spilled her drink and he yelled "oooooooh mama!!"
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Tonight my 3yo got up from the dinner table and started walking towards the stairs to head up for a bath. Then she turned around, looked at my DH and said "follow me toots"
Neither one of us has ever said that to her. I have no idea where she heard it.
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@MrsF: does she watch Daniel Tiger? Miss Elena says toots all the time. My LO has definitely picked up phrases from the show.
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@Foodnerd81: She LOVES Daniel Tiger! - I'm absolutely sure you're right. I can't believe I never noticed that she says that!
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We were at Target last night and suddenly out of the blue my LO announces extremely loudly to everyone in the nearby aisles that "I think it's a little moist". No idea why he said it or what provoked it, but I just about peed my pants laughing since he said it so loud. And I hate the word "moist" so that just added to it!
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We were in the liquor department of the grocery store and as soon as we walked in she started yelling "It's party time, It's party time"! I believe it was because she saw the Christmas decorations, but still....
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My 3 yo told me yesterday that his good friend wasn't at school because he was in Mexico. Nope. Confirmed with other kid's mom. He is NOT in Mexico. Where does he come up with this stuff?
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@lucy123: HAHA hilarious!
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"Z tried to eat me!" (After a child bit him at school)
"Mommy, the sun is smiling on my cheeks/in my eyes!" -
LO has decided that toothpaste is "sauce." So she always wants "mo sauce, pees" on her toothbrush.
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@littlecasita1122: @lucy123: I'm dying over here. That's awesome.
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She told DH at Lowes, she was in the cart, she is the teacher and needs to learn patience.
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She was walking downstairs today and daddy told her she had to stay upstairs.
lo: I cant, I have to go downstairs, my phone is ringing, I have to see who is calling me...
daddy: you don't have a phone?
lo: yes I do, it's ringing, listen (puts hands to ear) rrrrriiiiing!since when do I have a teenager? (She's not even 2)
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I'm loving the comments I get about being pregnant. DS loves commenting on how big I'm getting - so big, he said, that I'm going to reach the ceiling.
And about the baby itself, he told me he will catch the baby when he comes out. We have never discussed how childbirth works.
And I was cracking up at the interaction between DS and his preschool friend when myself and his friend's mom were picking them up at the same time. His friend pointed to an older kid and said "that's my brother" (because it was). DS points to my stomach (so looks like he is just pointing at me) and says "that's my baby brother". His friend replies "no, that's your mommy". I had then had to clarify that DS was actually correct due to the baby in my tummy
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We are in the midst of potty training my 2.5 year old and although she's got pee down pretty good, poop has been a challenge. So I ask (pester
) her a lot by asking her if she pooped or needs to poop. And she always says, "no, it's ok, I didn't poop I just farted."Then WHY am I cleaning nuggets out of your underwear everyday?!
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My son isn't talking yet (he's not yet 15 months), but for some reason his grandmother taught him how to quack like a duck in Korean (which sounds more like "kek kek"). So now he has decided to start bellowing "KEK KEK!!" at the top of his lungs upon waking for the day or from his nap to let us know he's up. DH gets up with DS in the morning and today when he heard DS he said "Indeed, our son is quacking. He is arisen." I cracked up.
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SO was getting out of the shower while I was doing my make-up. DD walks in."Mama!!!!! Daddy has a PENIS!!!!" He hid behind the shower curtain. I laughed soooo hard. Later on she told me a boy at school taught her the word penis and that she had a "Gina"
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Me (proud because I've been working out): Look at my muscle!
DD: You have a NONE muscle. No one else has one like it. -
Radio: Something about Santa
LO: Santa!
Me: Who is Santa?
LO: Santa... Bring baby sister!
Me:Nope!
LO: Santa hungry! Santa... Spiced latte!So, we need to stop hanging out with friends with new babies ASAP & I should probably slow down on the Starbucks.
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Talking to her 2 month old little sister:
"J, you want a Elsa for Christmas??" Pauses then looks at me.... "Mama!! Her say yes! Her want a Elsa for da Christmas!"
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DS neglected to point down on the potty and peed out all over the floor. DH was super frustrated because it was a huge first morning pee and it got all over the rug in the bathroom. DS goes up to him and says, "Daddy it's OK. Sometimes kids pee on the floor. Sometimes they just do." and shrugs. No way daddy could keep a straight face after that one. 2 1/2. This kid.
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-After drinking the giggle juice at the hospital before his surgery, he looks at the tv and goes, "Look! 2 Mickeys!" There was only 1 Mickey on the screen.
-On day of discharge, he was ready to get dressed and go, and we told him the nurse needed to come take his dressing off of his leg before we could get dressed. He started screaming "Nurse! Nurse!" I had to tell him to stop because I was worried he'd scare them that something was wrong!
-Yelling at the cat yesterday, "Cringer! Come on, Cringer, turn into Battle Cat!" Our cat's name is Padfoot.
-Hubs went upstairs to take laundry out, and D followed him to the bottom of the stairs, talking to him. When Hubs kept going up the stairs, D yelled, "Hey! Daddy! Get back here!"
-I was eating Golden Grahams at breakfast and D goes, "Mommy, you eating Golden Grahams? That's very cool. Yeah, that's awesome, Mommy. Golden Grahams are awesome." -
E turned to me last night and said, out of nowhere, "Mummy, I not eat the baby" and patted me on the bump. Huh???
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@Cherrybee: haha, maybe she thinks you ate the baby since it is in your tummy, lol.
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