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I haven’t actually been in the over 40 position, but having had fertility and loss issues, sending you

The general guideline I’ve always heard is seek help at 6m of trying after age 35. I don’t think that means you can’t do it naturally - but getting the process started with an RE could be a good use of time as a just in case, as it can take some time to do all the testing. Sometimes just a little med help can make the difference!

My sister in law had her 1st at 40 and her second at 42 with no intervention so it is possible. I do agree that i would seek some help just to reassure myself and it is usually recommended to see your doctor after 6 months if you are over 35.

A woman in my family had her first at 40 and second at 45. She didn’t meet her husband until later in life.

@MoonMoon: keep the faith sista!!! I was not 40 but I was 39!! At 38 I was sent to a fertility specialist and we did some medicated cycles.. worst decision ever. All BFN's, lots of money gone and lots of emotional and physical stress. After 5 cycles we stopped. And then just after I turned 39 I got a BFP, naturally conceived. Had DS 45 days before I turned 40.

It's possible. It will take time... and it will be discouraging at times but it's 100% possible. Just has to be the perfect egg, the perfect sperm and the perfect timing.

@MoonMoon: A RE ordered one for my DH. We're 36 and I really regretted not going to a RE sooner.

@MoonMoon: my OB ordered my husband's, but that just because my husband's insurance is in a different network and were looking months out. Otherwise his PCP was fine ordering the SA.

‍♀️ 41 and current 5w1d with our IVF success.

@MoonMoon: my OB told me after 40 that you have a one in three chance of getting a good quality egg. I had three losses - like @Chuckles my first two losses were really early blighted ovums suggesting poor quality. It’s hard at this age but doable with support and patience! I say that as I’m embark on try 4 as we speak at 41.

@MoonMoon: I wanted to add, as a more positive note (maybe?) that the whole process for us, from starting TTC to losses and RE interventions only took a little over a year of trying. I just happened to get pregnant very easily. And because of the losses, there were several months that we didn't try because everything was evening back out. Which is why I say that it could have just been that we needed time to get a healthy egg.

@MoonMoon: I hesitated to comment because I didn’t want to sound negative. It’s taken me longer than some but I remain hopeful and think it can work out regardless of age.

I'm not in the 40+ group but I was AMA. (Currently 38 with a 1yr and 3yr). But I've got several mom friends who are in the 40+ group and some with fathers who are older. Obviously since they're all mom friends they've had successful pregnancy but I'll say most did require some sort of intervention. In some cases IVF and in some cases just getting health issues under control and better managed.

I would totally start speaking medical assistance sooner then later. It can take forever to get the referals/approvals/etc you need to get help so the sooner you get ball rolling the better. And at 35+ its 6 months not a year of TTC.

And not just your OB. It wouldn't hurt to get a check up at your regular doc to. So many things can effect your fertility - like Thyroid issues.

And hopefully you'll just be like me over 1yr TTC and the day you show up at your RE appt after finishing all your tests you get a .... (my RE said we had to scare my body into behaving... )

Good luck!