I am trying to figure out how normal some of the things we are experiencing in my son's new program are. He's two and we just started this week.
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My daughter is 3.5 and in a primary classroom so it might be different. What are you experiencing or concerned about?
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I've taught in a montessori school. What are you wondering about?
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@daniellemybelle: @Teachermama: sorry I know, so vague. I was trying to figure out a way to write it without going into a novel.
I guess I am having trouble distinguishing what's quirky to this school, and what's more Montessori things I am not used to. Plus the factors of him never being in a care environment at all, just a huge transition for both him and Me in general.
He is in the toddler classroom, starting at age 2-3yo. The next classroom is pre primary, which I think is 4-5yo. The classes combine at about an hour after he gets there since a lot of kids leave and they do circle time and "Spanish class". It seems like a bit much for a 2yo to be expected to sit quietly in circle time and not mess with all the work that's on the shelves, which a lot of is a bit more complex and breakable since it's the next class.
ETA I know circle time is a practiced and learned behavior so that's great, I just feel like they don't have enough supervision for this room to account for kids wandering around and losing interest in a behaviorally age appropriate way. The "stop" signs they post on the shelves which the older kids understand mean it's not time to do that work now aren't really gonna fly with a just turned 2yo.
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@junebugsmama: I worked in a M school with a toddler program as the French teacher and I spent a decent amount of time in the room. The teachers were amazingly patient with helping the students to learn how to sit through circle time but it was short even late in the year- like ten minutes, maybe 15 if the kids were super engaged. Occasionally there were kids who would roam or have a hard time sitting but they were asked to join the circle then basically ignored. If they were trying to play with anything on the shelves an assistant would go over and let them know it wasn't available and hello then back to the circle or they would sit quietly somewhere else.
Very rarely they would go to another room and usually they were so in awe that they would sit well because they were likely a bit intimidated by the new room. I'm sure it would have been trickier had they done it frequently.
Is your lo having a hard time with this expectation? I would ask them if another adult was available to gently help him with the transition for a few weeks. If it is mass chaos in general though I'd definitely bring it up because heaven knows toddlers feed off of one another and you're not paying for Montessori school for him to learn to behave like a heathen!
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@junebugsmama: So LO was two months shy of 3 years old when she started her primary class and was one of the very youngest, in a group with 3 and 4 year olds (some "old" 4 year olds). To be honest, I think we overestimated her ability to navigate some of this stuff because we felt she was intellectually ready. We have definitely struggled with her adjusting to school because they do have high expectations so I can relate to what you are talking about.
I think eventually all kids do learn the expectations and how to control themselves. Montessori really believes in the ability of small kids to be independent and "mature" and I think that is great for a lot of kids, but in our case I have wondered if the "pressure" on LO has created a harder adjustment to school than she would have had in a play based environment.
All that to say, I think what you are describing is pretty typical of Montessori. Do you feel like it has been an issue for your LO?
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R is in a toddler Montessori program ages 18m-3. They don't do any mixing of ages. There's a preschool for 3-4 (part time) and pre primary 3-4 (full time) and then jr k for 4-5 full time.
They do toddler appropriate things but do expect a little more of the toddlers in terms of using one work at a time, cleaning up, and following the routine. 845 is circle time, then work time is 9-1030, then another circle time or enrichment like music, reading, yoga, or French. Outside time from like 11-1130, then lunch, rest time from 1230-230, then outdoor time from 230-330 (pick up time). I've observed the class and somehow it is very orderly and the toddlers do seem to mostly follow the rules and stick with the program!
R had a very long transition as he was used to a nanny. He had severe separation anxiety the first month. Then just cried at drop off and some random times (mostly when transitioning from one activity to the next) for the second month. After 2m he started skipping off to school and really loves it. They really worked with us on transition, things that could help him etc.
I'm happy to answer any specific questions you have. Despite his transition, we've had a really positive experience. T started there in preschool and is in the jr k and has done so awesome.
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@Cole: @daniellemybelle: This is quite helpful, thanks. My son definitely had a near disaster of a time with the whole transition to the older kids' room on the first day. There was just no way he was about to sit down and listen when it was a whole new environment on his first day. The main teacher ended up chasing him around, and I felt so awkward as someone who was supposed to be a silent observer helping him transition. He even got so frustrated and started hitting other students and the teacher. FORTUNATELY, his main teacher heard all about it (she's not normally going to transition into the next room with them) and she talked to the teachers about it extensively, including how I was supposed to be invisible and not involved at this point. Apparently they were frustrated because they thought I should have helped? Which is totally different from the plan I was told before. Anyways, they actually altered the schedule so now they have a bit longer in his regular classroom while the older kids do the first part of the activity/circle team. Then, the older kids will start their work related to the lesson, and the younger kids will come in to do a more relaxed circle time. His teacher is also going to go with him to the next classroom while he gets used to the whole transition. I am SO SO Relieved!
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@winniebee: Thank you for sharing! I think I am adjusting my expectations. He did cry when I left for a bit, and then cried again when the parents started coming to pick up some of the kids. But he's doing awesomely well with that part considering he's been very attached to me from the beginning!
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@daniellemybelle: reread your response since I am still obsessing, even though day 2 went well. I am definitely taking what you said into account (about possibly the higher expectations on the kids mking a little bit tougher transition). It's quite an interesting point. Especially since I wasn't particularly seeking out Montessori, I like the philosophy and all but mainly it was just a decent location to us with an afternoon program, which is what we need. I already was thinking how if the room had more traditional fun toddler toys he might be more distracted when I leave. But he also might fight more with the other kids to get the toys he wants! Anyways like I said, just analyzing all parts of the equation.
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@junebugsmama: It seems like there's alot going on. Your LO is transitioning to a school setting, away from mama, as well as the transition to move rooms. It seems odd to me that they have the toddlers with the preschool age kids. Maybe they are short staffed. I know that the toddler materials and lessons are very different from the prek ones. I am sure with time, he will adjust to the learning environment.
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Oh heavens, that's definitely on the school. I'm glad they seem to have come up with a better plan. Give it a couple of weeks for him to adjust. I bet he does great once he understands. The fact that he went a little crazy is not remotely surprising- he probably used up every store of will power he had by then and was just done but as the rest of his day becomes easier for him he'll have energy left to work on that part of the day too.
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I think it's promising that the school has altered the plan/schedule to help your LO adjust. I'd be more concerned if they were just like: nope, this is how we do things and your kid sucks bc he can't handle it. It sounds like they are changing some things up to help him with the various transitions, and that means that they are either used to tough transitions (every kid can't be easy!) and/or at least willing to meet kids' needs.
As far as how "fun" the materials are, I think you'd be surprised! I had a similar concern when my DD1 started Montessori at 2.5y, and I have had similar conversations with other parents when they start Montessori. But all of us end up saying the same thing: it was amazing how interested they were at doing things like pouring, sorting, sweeping/cleaning, folding laundry, and opening things!
And now I get it -- they love feeling accomplished at doing things that are new, helpful, and/or like grown-ups do.
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@Teachermama: exactly.
@Cole: thanks for the validation! I definitely want to give it a few weeks and it's very promising they were so responsive. It's just so expensive I am second guessing everything! Especially since I have those jitters about leaving him regardless.
@KayKay: good point thank you! He's always loved playing with regular stuff, mixed in with his toys. It's really neat philosophy!
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@junebugsmama: yes my kids have no shortage of fun in Montessori school. Our school offers a ton of art, cutting, drawing and writing works as well. It's funny I watched the toddlers all wait so patiently to scoop beans
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@junebugsmama: my son went through a Montessori toddler program and I teach a Montessori primary program at the same center, so I've gotten to see both sides of it (I started teaching there after my son was done with the toddler program). I think the combining of ages is a school-based decision, but the other things you mentioned seemed typically Montessori to me. It sounds promising that the teachers are tweaking the schedule, because Montessori does "follow the child" and a good school will work to help him be successful.
That being said, daniellemybelle is right about kids adjusting to the high expectations. Even children who've been in the toddler/twos program at our center can have a hard time adjusting to the higher expectations of the primary rooms. It's a common concern from parents (it's not fun, my kid can't do those things, etc,) but within a few weeks most kids have transitioned well and thrive. Give it some time and patience and hopefully you'll both be happy with the school! ETA: kids go ga-ga for the Montessori works! I've seen children arrange & re-arrange the Broad Stair (blocks) or pour & re-pour colored water from one jar to another for 30+ minutes!
And now I get it -- they love feeling accomplished at doing things that are new, helpful, and/or like grown-ups do.
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