We hired a PT nanny for our 3 kids who has been with us about 4 weeks. My DH is mostly a SAHD who does some computer work from home when he can, so the idea was to give him some flexibility to do work and also tackle cleaning, errands, etc. We also wanted to have someone our kids were familiar with so we would be able to call her for date nights or other babysitting. She comes 2 days a week for 6-7 hours. We fully trust her and have no concerns about safety having her with our kids. Our 4 year old is mostly in preschool when she comes over but has no problem playing with her or even having her put him to bed. We also have a 3 mo old who is clearly adored by the nanny and obviously at 3 months she's cool with anybody. The problem is, the 2 year old has never been left with anybody except the occasional grandma care and has really had trouble adjusting. He is a stubborn guy and will cry and cry when she arrives, and cling to daddy or to me if I'm there. Eventually if we disappear the 2yo will come around and play with her, but will intermittently fuss and start looking for us. I'm sure this is normal 2yo behavior/stranger anxiety but it makes it challenging for DH to accomplish anything at home, and eliminates the flexibility for him to come and go to run errands alone but still get some bonding time with the baby for example. (Since when he leaves he feels that he needs to just stay away to minimize the trauma of the 2yo seeing him come home.) The nanny is very sweet, has a few years of experience with toddlers, and seems to enjoy playing with the kids. However she is also fairly timid and not at all firm with him. I think she just doesn't project the right energy (if that makes sense) to soothe an anxious 2yo. We want to give her the chance to bond with the 2yo so we haven't left her alone with both him and the baby for any length of time yet, but of course we need to be able to leave them at some point.

We haven't specifically discussed the timeline of this arrangement with the nanny, she is a grad student and mentioned that she defends her thesis in May so I assume she will want a real FT job at that point. So my DH and I are viewing this as a temporary arrangement and figured that we will reassess our needs when she moves on and decide if we want to find someone else or what. However it is becoming a little painful to keep paying someone and not taking full advantage of her services (DH or I still usually around with the baby while waiting for her to really make that connection with the 2yo). She is really sweet and I don't want to just dismiss her, but I also recognize that this is a business arrangement and if it isn't working out it is ok to tell her we all need to move on. Thanks for reading - thoughts?