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Love this
it's a nasty rainy Thursday over here and I needed the smile.I'm a shitty mom all right. I don't read to my kid. He doesn't pay attention anyway and I feel like an idiot doing the voices and acting all excited about it.
He goes to bed at 9:30, and I've given up trying to make him nap on weekends.
On vacation, he had FOUR hot dogs for dinner. Every night. I ate the side dishes because he only wanted the hot dogs... if he got only three, he'd grumble and point at them till he got a fourth
I told myself it's not so bad because he ate a ton of berries straight from the forest for lunch.
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@photojane: ha ha! I always felt like life is too short to not enjoy juice, ice cream, cake, etc. everything in moderation!
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@Littlejoy- you are hilarious! Ha.
Can I join?
-My son developed a habit of brushing his teeth.. and then rinsing with milk. Super counterproductive but he melts down if we don't let him have the milk, full on sobs which does not help with the bedtime routine. I'm hoping this is a phase (several months later..)
-We now call our IPad Alex's IPad and it is filled with his shows and apps. And free apps?! Don't let them fool you! I have caved and spent our hard earned money on gems for the Cars apps. Gems! So that my son can race again instead of waiting 7 minutes for his 'gas tank to refuel'. That would mean 7 minutes of whining and crying. I have to hide the Itunes receipt email so my husband doesn't know I bought gems...again.
-My son's very favorite food is orange chips. Doritos. Ug! And he may have had a slightly orange faced smile at pre-school pictures which means he may have had orange chips for breakfast. Most important meal of the day? Whoops.
- Thankfully he mostly enjoys eating pretty healthy food but we call salmon 'pink steak' and aparagus are 'skinny trees'. -
My toddler ate a live ant last week. She regularly goes to daycare in clothes covered in weird stains. DH always forgets to put shoes on her. She's addicted to her pacifier and Taylor Swift's video for Shake It Off. Last week, I was the only mom that didn't attend her Halloween party at daycare and when I got there to pick her up, the party was over and she was the last kid there.
But we do eat mostly organic!
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@Cherrybee: Mmmmm. You're tempting me with this idea!! I think I'm going to do this pretty early.
We're pretty crunchy over here with our organic food, BUT I never used our cloth diaper stash, use "he will have a strong immune system" to justify some less-than-stellar hygiene practices, and allow LO to play in the fridge so I can cook dinner. And it's been mostly puréed around here, what would the BLW advocates say?! Also, I've apparently not been dressing LO appropriately for the weather. Oops!
I think every mom has some things they're passionate about (more for first time moms) and what's important to me is not important to others, and vice versa. They all turn out ok.
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Okay, so my son had a sub yesterday in his kindergarten class and I volunteered...she yelled the entire time. Yeah, I yell sometimes but it really made me feel like even if I had never once raised my voice to him, this sub would have so I should cut myself a break.
Things we've done "wrong" screentime, daily. Happy meals. Forward facing car seat before 2...
But my kids are LOVED, cared for and compassionate little beings! I'm proud of them and I'm proud of myself.
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@catlady: hahaha my husband took Chloe to his work Xmas party last year. I stayed home - we were in the middle of IF treatments and I really need a night off.
He forgot to put shoes on her so they went to target barefoot & bought her new ones before they went to the party. I still giggle over this a year later!
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@fairy: THIS! I get treated like a weirdo 'cause my daughter nurses in the morning, and she's 19 months. I agree you'll never win.
My kid is the Queen of Plastic Toys.
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I'm 28 weeks pregnant and I'm pretty sure I already qualify for this club...
-I have ignored every single food restriction going, I still eat my steak so rare a good vet could get it back on its feet.
-the 'no heavy lifting' and other such rules only apply to me when I'm being lazy and would rather have someone else do it for me.
-I do not now nor never intend to sterilize anything, ever (this may also be a big pull for breast feeding)
-LO is going straight into his own room, I will need all the sleep I can get between feeds and I've heard they are bloody noisy. -
@Mrs.KMM: Yessss thank you and all the other ladies who've admitted to the various ways we're starting our terrible mothering before our kids are even born. Thank god your doc is normal. The fear-mongering, it is real. As I like to say, "Lots of people dumber than me have done this before, and everything turned out fine." Helps keeps the pressure low
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Hi, my name is Espion, and like every last one of you, I don't have a problem. My kid is addICTED to the iPad and I bought a replacement pacifier at 8 PM last night just in case he freaked out on DH today. We've let him eat candy, brownie and ice cream, and DH has fully admitted that he would serve the kid Snickers every single night if he would just eat something. I have more, but I'm at work right now. Represent, ladies.
@Snowdrop: Honestly, I sterilized nothing. Ever. Nor did I heat up my son's bottles!
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Oh, yeah. I do all that. My 7 mo watches Baby Einstein on repeat. Daily. I also let him lick a lollipop.
The other kid has been on a sugar high for a week.
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@loopedd: Literally I asked my OB what foods to avoid while pregnant. His answer was don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, and don't do drugs. Everything else you'd eat while not pregnant is perfectly fine in moderation. Made me quite happy!
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@Espion: haha yes, I don't really get the point of sterilising anything unless it is being given intravenously!
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@Snowdrop: I also washed all of his baby clothes with fabric softener and normal detergent. And tomorrow happened!
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@Snowdrop: I sterilized bottles when they were born and not once after that. Well, I do use the tommee tippee sterilizer every day but I have well water and not sure if it's ok. You have to get that tested and who has time for that? Once a lady at target saw my son drop his wubbanub and me give it right back to him. She politely let me know that they had pacifier wipes for that situation. I told her I know, but I don't bother with that!
I second the don't warm up the bottles suggestion!!! I get comments on that too from the older set.
I also have never put my kids on schedules and neither has napped in their crib. And I rock to sleep. Yes, I break all the sleep rules.
And the worst one yet is that I did not enjoy Breastfeeding and quit after a couple of weeks.
Boy, I sound like an awful mom! But I sure do love my boys!
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Fuck yeah for this thread.
-My kid watches TV every day. I don't give a shit, really. I don't feel the need to justify it.
-She does not eat organic and we eat processed food (the horror!) and *gasp* probably GMOS!! Oh no!
-She gets juice. Oh well.
-Sometimes her clothes don't match. Guess I should be reported to the hipster mom police. So sue me, I let her pick her own stuff now. And yeah, she leaves the house like that.
-We eat fast food sometimes. God, we're all destined to be buried in a piano box, I guess.
-I just buy meat on sale, i dont check if it's organic, grass fed, blah, blah, blah.
-I gave her untold amounts of tylenol for teething.
-I dont sterilize stuff.
-I let her keep her bottle until she was 2.
-I let her eat her Halloween candy. Kid earned it.
-I use regular diapers, no Honest Co or Earths Best. Mama gotta save her pennies, for real.
-She yelled "Goddamnit!" at our cat... several times. My bad. She totally got that from me.And the ultimate modern mom sin.... i formula fed her. Holy shit, let's all point and laugh at my kid who will clearly be sickly and mentally challenged. SMH
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Hmm to name a few...
My kids don't always have a fruit/veggie with a meal, sometimes not even in a day.
The TV is constantly on
My two year old can work the DVD player on her own
I bribe my toddler
I give her treats to zip it for a few minutes
I look forward to bedtime so I can sit.
I don't always interact with my kids every waking moment.
My kids eat fast food
We don't eat organic
I let my kids CIO
Forward faced at 22 months
I'll stop there
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My son has probably consumed an entire cat's worth of cat fur since he started commando crawling, because I'm too lazy to vacuum (scratch that, I'm too lazy to push START on the robot vacuum).
I let him cry it out at 3.5 months.
I'm counting down the weeks til he's one so I can legally forward face him in the car.
I bought $300 worth of cloth diapers before he was born and I've used one approximately twice, he's 8 months old. I'm currently trying to sell them for about 1/5th of their value on facebook cause I can't handle the guilt of them staring me in the face every day.
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@littlejoy: wait, what's a seat cover, why should I use one at the park, and what does it have to do with being crunchy.
We have that kid who talks with his pacifier in his mouth. Strangers are starting to comment on it. Whatever. It is a means of self soothing and I am not going to take it away from him when he is getting used to a new baby. The dentist and the pediatrician said it should be gone by four. He isn't even two. I am not worried.
I have no interest in potty training. Zero. My MiL bought him a potty seat right after lo2 was born. Are you kidding me? I am not going to potty train him right now. Sure diaper changes suck but you know what sounds worse? Asking if he had to go potty every five minutes and holding him over the potty and accidents and outfit changes.
Also I don't even *get* why I SHOULDN'T give my kid Motrin for teething. He is in pain! Sure we have tried natural teething tablets but really we just give them as an incentive to lay still during diaper changes.
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You guys are hilarious. I didn't even know that half the stuff you are listing was supposed to be "bad". Like playing in the cupboards/fridge. Why wouldn't you let your kid play with the ramen? Sounds like a no-brainer awesome toy to me.
Also, thank you to whoever said the bit about giving motrin for a month of teething. I was starting to be worried about the amount that LO has been getting even though the ped said you could give it at bedtime "indefinitely".
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Absolutely! I don't even let myself feel judged by any of this stuff. My 2 year old takes sips of my coffee, had chocolate before 1, had real cake with sugar at her first birthday, has juice whenever she wants it (which just happens to be not very often), watches some TV or plays iPad games most days, we eat McDonalds about once a week, I thought about cloth diapering for 1.2 seconds and said no way, my kids get plenty of Advil for teething as soon as they hit 6 months, I've let them both cry a few times when the night waking gets to be too much, oldest had her binky until way past 2, oldest was formula fed starting at 8.5 months, I have never sterilized anything, forward faced at 22 months, I lose my sh*t and yell sometimes, and I'm sure there's more
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I'll join in:
1. my kid watches TV, only way I can make dinner
2. my kid does not eat her veggies on a regular basis, and I don't force her.
3. She loves French fries...of all kinds.
4. I'm having a RCS, a VBAC was offered as an option and I said "heck no, give me the section." and I scheduled it when I was 9 weeks pregnant
5. I laugh when my daughter says naughty stuff, I can't help it. -
Yes! Love this thread!
LO watches a LOT of TV.
The only meats he'll eat are sausage, hot dogs or chicken nuggets. And he won't eat any veggie aside from carrots. I don't care. -
@loopedd: I did/ate all that while preggo. ooooooops?! Sorrynotsorry.
You know what my kid wants to do first thing in the morning? Check on our zombies. I play a (cutesy) zombie game on facebook and he likes to make sure they're working hard.
ETA: and I didn't need to make the rest of my list because ZOMBIES.
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@Ra: You're my fav shitty mom.
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@.twist.: Zombies + your kid = Awesome!
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@.twist.: HAHAHAHAHA.
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@blackbird: BAHAHAHA. ok... I might rethink this. SHE IS FREAKY.
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@Grace: Agreed, I had no clue some of this stuff was bad!
I do not hesitate to use ibuprofen if I think my child is in pain, I would take it if I needed it, why would I deprive her of pain relief?
Someone said they give their child 2 animal crackers at night, I have given my 13 month old a FULL handful of animal crackers in lieu of a real snack if we are on the go.
We gave a full sugar cake for her birthday.
She has a lot of independent play time, both because I think its good for her and because I don't have the energy to entertain her all day long.
We have more toys than I think is probably good for her, and most of them are plastic and most aren't educational.
When my child cries in the car, often instead of trying to soothe her I just turn the radio up (strangely this does in fact soothe her, but that's not why I do it).
I totally use food to comfort her, which I know is probably creating unhealthy habits with food really early, but I don't care, I'd rather have a happy kid with food issues than angry one without I guess.
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Hahahaha love this thread!
Toys fell on the floor? Not sterilizing that ish.
What's that he's playing with, you say? Oh, just the spatula and a box of red beans and rice. NBD. (His caregiver on TH/F hides the spatulas from him because she doesn't think they're safe LOL).
He doesn't get a bath every day. Hell, sometimes not even every other day because I'm exhausted and I have to make dinner before he goes to bed.
@adira: he has blankets too!
I think you're all great shitty moms!
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@Mrs. J: spatula's aren't safe? wtf. My kid plays with ALL kitchen utensils... hahaha
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@.twist.: his favorite toys are spatulas, spoons, and measuring cups! He also thinks it's an amazing day when he gets in the fridge and steals the salad dressing or BBQ sauce.
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@Mrs. J: haha yup.
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@Mrs. J: We are just about to finish the bottle of baby shampoo given to us when E was born....and he's 17 months old!
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I'm not a mom yet, but this is one of the best threads I've read!! You're all awesome
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Another member of the club here!
My two year old has a cup of juice every single morning, sometimes two. No shame.
My toddler also has ham almost every day - processed meat? Oh the horror!
My 9 month old rolled down the stairs this morning - worst mum ever, fortunately she was fine.
Donuts, chocolate biscuits (cookies), and stinky flavoured chips are some of my toddler's favourite foods.
There are loads more, but these are the immediate ones that spring to mind!
ETA: I don't give them baths every night because it's just too much effort. It's every other night if I'm feeling motivated, more often every third day.
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@catlady: My son sees billboards for Swan Lake and he says "shake it off!" every time because of TSwift's video. He loves her!
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Not a mommy yet, but already I'm planning of doing something very bad...no travel system/ infant car seat just stroller recline!
@Ra: kudos for starting this epic thread.
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We watch two episodes of curious george every day.
One car seat is forward facing at 19 months.
We circumcised and don't regret it for a minute.
LO eats plenty of hot dogs and deli meat and cake at every party.
I take him to daycare on my day off to have me-time.
We never do Pinteresty crafts etc.
He goes to sleep at 8pm and we've done CIO twice. His sleep still sucks and he ends up sleeping 1/2 the night with us cuz I'm tired.
I never did sensory play activities.
I'm not a bad mom. My kid is fun, kind and brilliant. And he's also a handful with the attention span of a gnat.
it's a nasty rainy Thursday over here and I needed the smile.
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