We went up to visit inlaws again this weekend. My SIL is still crazy. She has real issues...I'm thinking some type of personality disorder.

She loves my baby. And she is good with him, minus thinking he needs to be made to laugh at all times. But it's like she wants him to be *her* baby. Not in a pretend he is actually hers way, but in a "look at my cute accessory/see I'm the favorite" way.

My MIL can be a little....overbearing is the wrong word, but likes to constantly give advice. DH and I mostly tune it out (even when it's annoying stuff like "oh he pooped? See you said he was tired but I knew he was just working on something" when he is really just tired and poopy).

So sometimes she'll say things like "oh careful, watch his head" or "don't bounce him around right after eating" to my SIL. It's usually just common sense stuff, but it means my SIL goes into a tail spin of "why do you hate me" towards her. Like the other day when we were packing, I knew the kid was hungry and needed a nap, but I wanted to get the car loaded first before feeding him. He was doing fine with MIL, and then SIL wanted to hold him and he started crying. No big deal, babies don't like being passed around when fussy. So MIL took him back. SIL sulks and cries and makes her mom fix her lunch (she is almost 20). Not because the baby cried, but because MIL took him back.

Or when we all went to the pool. It still makes me a bit nervous to go, even though LO is in a little floaty thing, I told DH to stay right with him. She kept grabbing it and pulling it off with her. So DH had to chase her around the pool the whole time basically.

It's like she doesn't get that he is our CHILD. He is not an accessory, or a means of validation, or an Instagram model, or a way to pick fights with her mom. He is not there so she can be like, "look how good I am with kids!"

I don't know what to do. It's not like I don't trust her to be around him. We can't get MIL to say something because she has major issues with her. DH and I have trouble articulating what the problem really is. And even if he did say something, it would just be about the examples you bring up. Like, "well MIL shouldn't have taken him from me" or "he was fine with me in the pool."

Has anyone else had this problem??