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@MrsTiz: You are an excellent mother! At this point, you need to do whatever you need to do to sleep. Can your husband take the early shift at night so you can rest?
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@MrsTiz: also meant to add, I did all night stuff when DH worked but one change we made that was amazing was when he got home, he got the baby. In the early days I went and slept until dinner/next nursing with ear plugs in. So from.. 5-7 was "me time". Just having that on my horizon saved my sanity.
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Thanks for all the encouragement guys, it feels great to have all the support.
@scg00387: I've thought about that but it seems selfish to make him work all day and then have to come home to baby duty, I could use the free time though
Annnnnd so it begins: (couch snuggles with a fussy babe) he cried us out of the bedroom, he didn't want the bassinet with a sound machine, he didn't want to lay on me, he damn sure didn't want to lay on the bed (DH was ok with trying though!!) and he didn't want to be swaddled. Apparently the only thing he likes is laying on me on the couch watching Dr Phil.
On another note, he's decided he wants to eat every hour now, and making me waste a ton of milk and today I was only able to pump about half of what he needs for some reason. I guess supply and demand doesn't work on my boobs.
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Hang in there mama! Do you have any local FB groups or a local Craigslist page where you could get a RNP quick? That's the only thing DS would sleep in for months. Sending you hugs! You are doing great!
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@MrsTiz: NO it is not selfish. I felt the same way, until I was suddenly sobbing for no reason at random times of the day. DH intervened and pointed out that I was running myself into the ground. He took over when he got home, and then did at least one night on the weekend where I stayed in bed and he brought LO to me to nurse, put him back down with changing and swaddling. GAME CHANGING. Seriously. Put yourself first, because it can spiral downward so fast
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ROck n plays are inclined....they will save your life!!
Fwiw I didn't sleep in bed with hubby until six weeks because our LO was so needy....so I totally feel your pain!!!!
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Oh boy. I'm so sorry, I can imagine how overwhelming it must be! I can relate to flying solo with night-time duties. My husband works nights, so it's just us at night. But I'll agree with PP, even if it's just one thing your husband does like give you a couple hours when he gets home, it will make such a big difference. Regarding the pumping, I don't blame you! I know I wouldn't be able to do it. I only pump a couple time at work and *that* nearly has me going out of my head, so I can't even imagine having to pump that much on top of handling feedings and everything else. Even if it doesn't feel much like it right now, you are absolutely a super mamma!
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@MrsTiz: You are a great mom! The newborn days are hard as hell. My LO is 12 weeks old and it's gotten much better, but it's still really hard! I don't think it's selfish at all for your DH to take over for awhile when he gets home. Yes, you are on maternity leave, but taking care of J is your job (and for me taking care of M is way harder and more stressful than my actual job). So it's not fair that he only works 8 hours/day and you work 24. You deserve a break!
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@MrsTiz: It is NOT selfish at all. He is just as much of a parent. You worked all day too, it was just at home. But taking care of a newborn and pumping all day is a lot of work.
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Haha, Dr. Phil!
We didn't have a rock and play, there wouldn't have been a place to buy one, so it is possible to survive without it! I used to swaddle up my son and lay him on a super big couch pillow, he loved it and would fall asleep there. I think he slept in the swing once, so what works for some doesn't work for others!
hang in there, he's still adjusting to life on the outside!
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@MrsTiz: oh man do I feel your pain. I cry all day and have never felt like a bigger failure. The only saving grace for me is the DH is home by 5 and I sleep from 5-10 (yesterday he let me go till 11 since I was a crying mess). Then I move to the couch and lo sleeps in his RnP. I also dropped pumping and are going to do 100% formula. I gave LO BM last night and it ruined his stomach so I know the guilt you're feeling. Hang in there. We are just tired and this has to get easier or people wouldn't do it again. I highly suggest getting the RnP. M is swaddled and placed in his at night. Right now it's just about surviving. It's 8:30 here and I should have the lights on etc but M is sleeping so soundly I'm keeping then off and going back to sleep for another hour.
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I will just echo PP that not only do you "deserve" a break, you NEED one. There are no jobs where one works weeks on end without a single break. And having a newborn is a serious, for real, capital-J job.
Also, I know that every family needs to figure out what works for them, but from my days of teaching preschool, I learned that I am way less patient and sane and loving and capable if I've had less sleep. For us, this meant that we decided before LO arrived that even though I was the one at home, I needed to get a good chunk of sleep as well, so night duties had to be shared. I think being under-rested can affect the parent who is home with the baby almost more than it can affect the parent who is out at work. Babies are nutty, irrational, emotionally exhausting creatures--even the worst jobs I've had have been a little easier to wrap my head around (but way less fun in the long run, I promise!!!). Just sharing my own experience, though as I say, everyone needs to figure out what works for them. But HUGS.
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You work all day too! One of the hardest things for us in adjusting to life as parents has been finding balance. But everybody needs a break. Just because your job isn't paid right now, doesn't mean its not exhausting. Your husband might like the opportunity. Can he take her for a walk? When our daughter was little and the evening was a fussy time, my husband would put her in the front pack or stroller and go for a walk. Even just getting 45 minutes to myself made a huge difference.
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What formula are you using? DS didn't do well on the standard Enfamil, so we switched to gentlease and it made a difference on his tummy!! I wish I was closer so I could give you a break to go sleep. Newborns are so hard!!! You are doing the best job you can, hang in there. The first 6 weeks are tough but it DOES get better. Lots of love @MrsTiz!
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I woudln't because I'd be too scared he would roll his face into the side and possibly sufficate. Do you ahve a rock-n-play? My LO HATED her bassinet but slept amazing in the RNP due to the slight incline/cacoon feeling.
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@MrsTiz: ROCK N PLAY, girl! gosh, I wish you were closer, I have three that you can have. It was a life-saver. I pulled it up next to my bed at night and it's so portable for daytime naps anywhere.
(((((big hugs))))) those first weeks are SO HARD
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@rachiecakes: how much would shipping be? lol!
@petunia354: Gerber Goodstart gentle. I think I just have him too much at once, I have him 3 bottles and he was only supposed to have 1
@ladybee: I know, I read your posts and my heart aches for you lady, trust me I know how you feel. Last night he slept 2.5 hours in the monkey swing and then 2.5 more on me, so I got some rest during those two times. He decided he wanted to eat every hour for the first half of the night, not sure why. Growth spurt?
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@MrsTiz: omg I remember having visitors and getting so frustrated because everyone wanted to hold the baby and he was eating every hour on the hour. It will not always be like this, I promise.
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@petunia354: when you switched to gentle ease did you go cold turkey or do it slowly?
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@MrsTiz: Hugs mama! I didn't read all the replies but wanted chime in and say my son slept in his snugabunny bouncy chair for the first 5 months. It was the only place he would sleep at night.
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@ladybee: cold turkey! he did SO much better on it, almost immediately.
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