I'm so, so tired of having the constant daily struggle of figuring out how to feed my baby. After my last post (http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-the-hell-is-going-on-with-my-kid-feeding-issues) I did make an appointment at her ped office and saw an NP who diagnosed her with reflux and gave us zantac. That was last thursday.
For those who don't know, her primary issue is bottle refusal.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday we saw slight, but not a ton, of improvement. We still had to do a lot of fighting to get her to eat. Monday was a bit better. Tuesday was amazing. She ate almost every time I offered, no fighting, and took 25 ounces on her own (close to her 26-28oz average that she had before all of this started a few weeks ago). I was so hopeful. Wednesday she ate almost every time I offered but didn't want to eat much, only 19 oz. I didn't push because at least she was eating happily and I figured maybe some days she'll eat more and some days less. Then she had a bad night waking up every few hours (after STTN basically for the last few weeks) although she only wanted to eat once.
Yesterday started off okay with her eating at 3:30am (4oz), 9am (6oz), and 12:30pm (4oz). Then she went down and had a long nap and when she got up at 4:45 she only ate 1 oz. I didn't push too hard and thought maybe she just needed to wake up more. I offered again at 5:30 and she refused-- I didn't push. I offered again before her next nap at 6 and she refused but I pushed a little and got her to eat 1 oz. She slept until 7:15 and wasn't hungry when she woke up. At 9pm before bed she refused again and I pushed really hard (lots of crying, lots of having to switch between paci and bottle) to get her to eat 4 oz. It was an ordeal. So she ended the day at 20oz but I did not feel good about it because she didn't want to eat from 12:30pm on--- that cannot be normal right?!?! I mean she seemed perfectly happy to not eat. But babies need food.
I called her ped this morning and spoke to a nurse about all this and I feel like they're sort of just blowing me off. She said her best guess is that she doesn't like switching between bm and formula so I should start mixing the bm and formula 1:1 for every single meal so it always tastes the same. I feel in my gut this is not the issue, but I really hope I am wrong and I'll give it a few days of trying this to see if it helps.
But if it doesn't?
I just don't know what it is. I don't know if it is really reflux? Or if it is a behavioral thing (like straight up bottle refusal for some reason?) or if it is maybe an allergy?
I tried talking this out with the NP we saw last week and again with the nurse today and I feel like they're blowing me off because they keep saying "well her weight gain is good so you can try this but we're not too worried."
Well her weight gain is good because I work so effing hard to make her eat! If I only let her eat what she wanted to her weight gain would NOT be good and then they'd take me seriously I bet-- but I"m not doing that to my kid. I'm not letting her weight fall just to get attention. Ugh.
I asked if maybe we should at least try switching her to a mspi formula (all formula) for a week or two just to see if that might help and the nurse told me they really don't think it is an allergy and they would not recommend I do that without coming in to see them to discuss it. Again.
I'm just frustrated at the lack of consistency. One day her eating is okay, the next it all falls apart. We have new problems all the time, her symptoms don't fit any one diagnosis 100%, and we've had so MANY issues I don't feel like I can ever fully explain her feeding history to anyone because they're rushing me through to get to the current problem (but what if some of that history is relevant?). And I'm frustrated that I feel like the pediatrician isn't taking these issues seriously because her weight gain is good. But I just don't feel like her eating is normal. I don't feel like every day should be a question mark and a battle on what will work to feed her today. I don't accept that it will always be this way and there is no answer.
Ugh.