We are currently pregnant and due in October and before we even started ttc I (the planner) insisted that we figure out what our child care situation would be. I knew we couldn't afford full time child care (costs as much as our mortgage each month in our area and would nearly eat up one of our incomes) and I knew we couldn't afford for one of us to quit (we earn nearly the same amount and this would mean cutting our income in half and we couldn't pay our bills) which meant we had to get creative. Normally my husband works long hours with weekend time so he gets two weekdays off meaning he could watch the baby while i was at work. We were thrilled when my mother in law (who is beside herself with excitement to be a grandma) volunteered to do the other three. We would still pay her as a courtesy but it would be an amount we could afford. This was a huge relief and all was set until a few days ago when my husband got a "promotion" at work which gives him a very minimal pay increase ( in other words no where even remotely close to covering child care) and took away his weekend hours in favor of the coveted regular m-f 9-5 type gig. Six months ago we would have been beside ourselves with excitement over this but now we are pregnant and in a child care pickle and I am majorly stressed. Mother in law doesn't want to do more than three days which I totally understand so that option is out so of course we next thought of my parents. Let me preface this by saying my brother has three kids ages five to one and my parents have watched them since birth. They adore them. The kids have beds and toys and clothes at my parents house. They spend days at a time there. I would venture to say that out of every month the kiddos are at their house staying over night a total of one to two weeks. So I was a little shocked that when I brought up my husbands new work schedule and our current pickle and asked if they would be willing to help out one or two days a week that I was told that they are too old and watching our kid for a whole day would be an awful lot. They want to be free to go do things when they want and geez the kid won't even be born for a few months and who knows what could happen to them by then...all this when five minutes earlier my mom had been talking about asking my brother if my niece could come stay for two days. I am well aware that asking them to help us with child care is a HUGE favor to be asking of anyone and I am not trying to dispute that all of my moms excuses were 100% valid I just have a really tough time not feeling like total crap when the same excuses don't apply to my brothers kids. Honestly I am just stressed, baffled and in shock. Throw a heavy dose of hormones into the mix and I kinda feel like crap over the whole thing and I am REALLY sorry I ever asked. It is REALLY not the response i thought i would get. I know we will figure it out I guess I just need to vent because my feelings are hurt