Hellobee Boards

The choice is totally hers to decide. If we can pay for it great, if not, she can pay for it herself. But I have absolutely no plans to withhold money because I don't like the school she chose. The only thing I will not be paying for with certainty is Greek life. If she wants to be a part of that she will have to pay for it herself.

@sunny: I couldn't justify an ivy league or private school if he/she was planning to major in something like English or teaching. Those are low-paying jobs that you can generally get positions regardless of where your degree is from.

If they wanted to go for something where "brand name" schools really come into play, I might be a little more supportive - like lawyer, mathematician, med sciences, etc.

But I probably wouldn't discriminate on schools, I'd be honest with what I thought and definitely be up front about what we can afford. I HIGHLY doubt we'd ever be able to afford an ivy league school

@Coco Bee: I just won't be paying for it. I can't really elaborate without being rude/offensive to some.

I won't limit where my child can go to school based on my preferences but I know we won't be able to afford every school. We'll try to help narrow down options based on what my son wants to do and go over the pros and cons to each school, which will include finances. Our goal is to be able to cover our son's education in total without him having to take a loan but if he selects a school we can't fully afford (due to out of state tuition or similar) then he'll have to understand that he would be responsible for helping mitigate those additional costs through a scholarship and/or loan. To me, this is one of those first real "life lessons" where the child has to make a decision that affects the rest of his/her life whether it is earning potential, quality of education, financial impacts, etc. Yes, they are still young and not necessarily fully equipped to make the decision but to me that is where I as a parent can step in and help weigh out the decision, not provide the answer.

@highwire: I'm with you!

@blackbird: I'm glad you had such a wonderful experience with it! And I want to reiterate that if that is what she wants to do, she is more than welcome to join and I'd be willing to support her in attending whatever events she wants me to be at, but the checks won't be coming from me (or her father for that matter, who feels even more strongly about this than I do).

I'm in Canada, and we always talk about whether we'd encourage our LO to apply to US schools. DH went to grad school in the US, but only because it was one of the top schools for his program.

We would definitely encourage her to apply to US schools, but only if it were a good liberal arts college, or a top school for the program (which may not necessarily be an ivy league/name brand school). The reason for our restrictions is that Canadian university tuition is soo much cheaper, and it wouldn't make sense to spend so much on a mediocre US school. That being said, our goal is to be able to cover her tuition when she decides where to go. We're hoping that she'll work and save up to pay for books!

I don't know how much we'll be able to afford when the time comes, but if we can, we would definitely support LO in continuing an education.

It definitely depends. I know DH feels like it is a waste to pay for a "frivolous" major, like dance or theater (which is cousin is currently majoring in), so I think that might have a bigger impact than the actual school itself. But both our parents paid for private university for us, so we wouldn't be opposed to doing it for our kids if we can. I'd like to help guide them to the best decision, without forcing it.
However, my majors weren't particularly lucrative and I do still feel it now, where DH majored in finance, and guess what, makes lots more money than me.

ETA: And our school didn't have a Greek system, so my knowledge of it comes mostly from movies. That's accurate, right? That said, I do think kids paying for their own social activities is the way to go.