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I'm torn. I had three, four and under when DD3 was born this fall. There are 22 months between DD1 and DD2, and almost 2.5 years between DD2 and DD3.

In some ways, I almost think having your middle LO be YOUNGER (than mine was) when a new baby arrives would be easier. DD2 at 2.5 was kind of just on the cusp of being a big kid - potty trained, but not independent in the bathroom; I was still wearing her a lot, very verbal but not always able to express exactly what she wanted/felt; not really big enough to be left alone to play or to be super helpful with the baby....but it FELT like she should have been, which sometimes led me to have higher expectations of her than were really appropriate. A 19 month old is very much still a baby - you'll expect him to act like a baby, so it won't be a big deal when he does!

On the flip side, at almost 4.5, DD1 was able to be genuinely helpful. She could reliably bring me things, play independently, use the bathroom/get dressed alone, be trusted with the baby while my back was turned, and even help hold binkies/bottles for DD3 in the car. If she'd been almost a year younger, I'm not sure she would have been as helpful.

To be honest, we are six months in, and it's tough! I'm not sure that 6 months in either direction would have really made a difference on that. I think in a few years, it'll be easier.

My biggest advice to you is just to really think through the logistics of how you'll manage things with three - trips to the store, school/daycare drop-off and pick up, doctor appointments with sick kids, getting the older one to classes/activities....I don't mean "think about it" as in think about if you really want three (because it sounds like you do - I did too!), I just think it's a good idea to think of these things before you're pregnant/before the baby arrives....it'll help you feel equipped to deal when the time comes :).

@bees_knees: I would also take into account the time of year you would have the baby, especially if you are putting your oldest in preschool for the first time. My middle started preschool and kept getting sick and getting the baby sick all winter (and me too!). It was so miserable!

My oldest turned three four days before we had our third. My middle turned one two weeks prior.
It was difficult. Awesome but difficult.
They are so close and in love with each other that it's wonderful for me to watch but it was not easy.
Scheduling activities was tricky because someone was always napping. My oldest want interested in the same things as the younger two and I always felt bad that the little ones would get stuck in the stroller while we did stuff for her. Having three at home was tough.
We're taking about trying for four but if we wait until December to try it'll mean only having two at home. If we try now I'll have three three and under at home and in not sure I have the energy to do that again.

I have three with a three year gap between my first and a two year gap between my younger. I really liked the 3 year gap but waiting that long (esp. if you want 4) is tough. The nice thing with them all under age of 5 is that they all still pretty much play with baby/toddler/preschool toys. My oldest is just now getting into barbies and legos and bigger kid stuff.

Take this with a grain of salt because I only have 2, but I was just chatting with 2 cousins who both have 3 kids but with different spacings. The cousin whose kids are all around 3 years apart looked fresh as a daisy, and the cousin whose kids are all about 1.5 years apart looked like she wanted to die. Obviously, personality of the kids plays a part, but both of them said their third kid was pretty easy...I think it was dealing with the middle kid that was the issue.

@bees_knees: so my story is a little crazy as we wanted three but ended up with four. So we were rocking four under four for a couple of months (3.75, 2). I am really glad that LO2 was at least somewhat independent when 3 & 4 arrived. She can easily walk for some distance and can at least communicate verbally to a pretty big extent. I also wanted to give my body a couple of months of rest after stopping BF before I became pregnant again since I found that to be very exhausting with LO1/LO2. So while rocking the age gap is doable especially if you have some help giving your body rest is also something to consider. Oh and you might want to consider that you could end up with twins

DS1 and DS2 are exactly 2.5 years apart (30 months). We wanted DS2 and baby 3 close together because of my age and our overall steam/momentum, but due to pregnancy losses, that did not happen. Therefore, DS2 and DS3 will ultimately be 2.5 years apart as well (most likely exactly 30 months, depending on when DS3 actually arrives).

@bees_knees: hahahah lol at the four kids being your excuse for everything. My first just turned 3, second is 14 mo and we are thinking about being open to our 3rd... If it happens soon it'll be ahh but yayy and if it takes awhile I'll enjoy the break

@bees_knees: congratulations

@bees_knees: yay congrats!!! When are you due??

@bees_knees: oh good! I'm due Dec but kind of following along with the Jan group too because I'm a late dec due date and because there are a few 3rd timers in there now!

@bees_knees: congrats! I commented on this thread weeks ago too and now I find myself pregnant with #3 as well

@bees_knees: congrats!!