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when you think about it, is it in a positive or negative way (or just neutral)?

by all accounts my labor/delivery was fairly routine, and i tried to be open-minded about how it would go--even then, i *still* process it a bit (3 months postpartum).

it's a huge, life-changing even that in certain ways goes by in the blink of an eye, so i think it's normal to be processing it for quite some time afterwards.

Yup, I was the same way, particularly with my first. For weeks (months?) afterwards, I would find myself thinking about it a lot. Overall, it was a really positive experience, but I just spent so so much time trying to recall all the details, bugging my husband with questions about things I couldn't remember, and just generally trying to process it. I've been the same way with my daughter (now three months old), but to a somewhat lesser degree.

Birth is such an enormous event. For nine months, I thought about it, worried about it, planned for it, and then - all of a sudden - it was over. I think part of my problem was that it was all just so quick, and I suddenly went from having this *thing* looming ahead of me to it just being over, and having to move on to the next phase of actually being a mother. I wasn't let down that it was over, more just had a hard time with that moving on stage.

I'm at 4 months and think about it often, but I had a traumatic experience. I feel like I should be over it by now, but I just can't.

I think about it on a fairly regular basis and I'm 8 months pp.

The births of our children, whether good or bad experiences, stick with us for our entire lives. It is a defining rite of passage. Physiological, psychological, and hormonal functions are at full force in that experience and it's HUGE, whether our culture acknowledges that or not. It's ok to still be processing. How long afterwards did you remember and talk about your wedding day and all the little things you could recall? Now apply that to birth and multiply it about 50,000,000 times, lol. That's how huge birth is. To a certain extent, we're probably processing it every day for the rest of our lives. I know I still think on and remember my son's birth over 4 years ago. It was a good experience, although a little traumatizing just because I was expecting intense, just not quite that intense, lol. With my daughter, I warriored through and was processing and remembering and in awe of myself for probably 6 months after her birth.

I STILL think about it sometimes and I'm almost 7 months pp! I think it's normal. It might help you and others to post your birth story!

@Corduroy: Um, yeah, any birth professional should understand how important the experience and processing and talking about that experience is to women.

@Corduroy: I think it's normal. For me, 16 months later, there are so many 'what ifs'. What if I did this, would I have been on bed rest? Did being on my left side for weeks push DS into his posterior position? Would I have avoided an episiotomy if I had started yoga early to get him in a better position? Would that have helped circulation and my high blood pressure?
The answer is - who knows? Baby J has his own story how he came into the world, every step was our unique journey together.
I do think that going over it in my mind gets me amped up for a "perfect" second pregnancy & delivery but I may find that it's only about to be something different altogether.

19 months post partum, I'm still not 'over' my traumatic birth experience. I think it's really sad that you're expected to be. People say things like 'it's only one day of your life!', or 'it doesn't matter how the baby gets here as long as they're healthy!'. It's a lie. Some women feel that way, great. But lots don't. Lots of women hope for a specific type of birth, and if they don't get it, they're reasonably and understandably sad.

Lots of women get the kind of birth they want, and get to feel really happy and fulfilled and satisfied with it. When someone doesn't, they're often just expected to chin up and get over it. I think that's horrible. My daughter's health was the most important thing, but next on my list was my experience, as it should be. I didn't get anything approaching the natural birth that I wanted, and it breaks my heart. I would have done literally anything to ensure her health, but I would also have liked to have had a beautiful natural birth. Whatever you were hoping for, it's reasonable to be disappointed if you didn't get it.

I've processed it to the point that I'm not reliving it or wondering if I could have done anything differently. But I'm still sad about it. I'm really hoping to go on to have a natural birth with my next child.

I think that many women feel the need to process the experience, even when it's positive. It's one of the most powerful and biggest things we'll ever go through. A negative experience is all the more demanding. Don't feel bad about needing to take some time to deal with it. You're not alone, and you're not weird.

I still think about my L&D and I'm 6 months pp. I think it's totally normal. I had a very positive birth but I thought about it frequently for weeks afterwards. Trying to remember all the details, thinking back on it. I still do actually. I try to remember the moment my son was born, and I can't so that makes me kind of sad.