Hellobee Boards

No elbows on the table, napkin on your lap. Ask for items to be passed, ask to be excused from the table (whether to go to the bathroom or get something from the fridge). On the rare occasion they finish first, I ask them to stay at the table and chat while everyone else finishes. On the other hand, if they’re not going to eat (don’t like the food), then you get excused from the table.

I'm way more lax at home. We all eat dinner together and that is what matters. As long as the goofing off is kept to a minimum and he sits properly in his chair, I really don't care too much about proper manners (other than please and thank you). We really don't go out to eat since we have a 2.5 year old as well, I don't want to deal with toddler antics while dining out!

Our main rules are:
Sit in your chair (no getting up and down)
Eat with utensils (not fingers)
Inside voice/minimal craziness
No potty talk/jokes
Even if you are not eating, sit with the family and chat, ask to be excused
In general, no toys/tablet/TV during dinner, but sometimes we make exceptions and always state that it is such
Take your dish to the kitchen when you're done

@Mrs. Champagne: This! We went through a period of my older girls being awful about getting up from the table, and I threatened to bring back out booster seats with buckles. We actually did it for my (then) 4.5 year old. She was mortified, and shaped up her behavior pretty quickly.

ETA: My kids actually have excellent table manners, aside from the issue we had with them getting up. It's a combination of constant reminders, following through on what we say, and pretty strict rules. I still think they're not great, but other people are super impressed, so I guess we're doing ok! We absolutely do not allow toys or technology at the table, including at restaurants, they're not allowed to say "yuck" to something someone else is eating, they have to try things we've put on their plate that we genuinely believe they will like, they have to eat at least some of everything in order to be finished with their meal (if they want dessert, when it's being offered - we don't force things we know they really hate after a number of times trying it), no potty talk, proper sitting, proper use of utensils, etc....are all required.

Whatever you decide are your preferred manners, my friend had a great idea that we have implemented to great success at our house. We light tapered candles at dinner, which we call the manners candles. If you have good manners at dinner, you get to blow out the the manners candle. If not, mom and dad get to blow it out. It's pretty decent motivation most days!

Reading this is making me realize how much I owe my older kiddo's daycare ladies. Dinner is always a mad sprint between pickup and bedtime and 4yo is too tired to have high expectations of him. We actually attempt to enforce: No shouting, no feet on the table (why, why, why is this such a problem?), pleases and thank yous, no interrupting (liberally interpreted as interrupt somewhat less and/or less forcefully), beverages are for drinking (not bubbles), please try to use utensils and ask permission to use your hands if utensils are too tricky.

Somehow he still manages to behave when we're out...and I know we can't take credit. Thanks, daycare!

No toys, tv, or electronics. His butt has to stay on the seat and he has to face forward. DS is 4 but still uses a booster seat (unbuckled) and he does a much better job of sitting still in it. He hardly ever finishes before us but if he does he’s excused from the table unless it’s a special occasion, we have company or if we’re at a restaurant. He also has to clear his plate and cup.

Our biggest issue isn’t with manners so much as pacing. He takes incredibly long to eat, so our new rule is that he takes a bite and while he’s chewing he has to get the next bite ready on his fork. It’s helped marginally.

We had luck with purchasing chairs that allowed my kids to rest their feet. Way less monkeying around now that they don’t have dangling feet 🤷‍♀️

-Pray first
-On your bottom
-No devices
-You dont have to finish your food, but you aren't getting anything else

I'm going to be honest and say that we got out of the habit of eating together after baby girl was born and we are working on getting back to it.

No toys at the table.
Sitting age appropriate correctly (like my almost seven year old is expected to sit in bottom with back straight and not like slumped over sideways. My three year old is expected to just sit down instead of standing up and eating. )
My almost seven year old talks and talks and talks. So she has to take certain number of bites before she’s allowed to talk.

Stay seated.
Plate/bowl stays on table
We encourage utensil use but don't battle over it
Inside voice/no yelling
No toys/electronics
Everyone stays at the table until we are done
Help clear dishes

If we are out at a restaurant we always have crayons and paper with us - she can use them while waiting for the food. If we are in a group and we are taking a long time she can also have them after she has finished.

We try to stick to our rules when we have guests at our house but will sometimes excuse her if the meal is taking a long time. At other peoples houses it's case by case, but we always tell her if something is an exception to our rules.

Oooof I feel like I run a house or heathens after reading this. DH isn’t home 5/7 nights. The kids eat at 5 so we eat after bedtime.

The kids (18 mo and 4) eat on the island on stools/inglesina. It’s a free for all. I can really only enforce the older one, and a do try. But I literally bathe the baby while she’s eating (bath is practically in the kitchen, hey it’s city living). So 🤷‍♀️