We've been struggling with my 3.5 year old's table manners. She plays with her food, won't sit at the table, bangs her silverware, etc. What techniques have been helpful for you in teaching your kids to sit nicely at the table? Are there any books, TV shows, etc that have helped?
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Bumping this
I am surprised there is not a Daniel Tiger episode coming to mind!
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If she won't eat nicely with her silverware, I take it away from her. I also tell her that if she cannot sit nicely at the table without getting up then she will have to start sitting in the high chair again.
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I made a sign with pictures (of a child using silverware, staying in their seat, etc.) I let DS help me choose the photos from the internet. It really helped to have something to point to to remind him of proper table manners. We also emphasized that it's a way to show the people you are around that you care about them.
FIL said he had a problem with our rule about trying one bite, though, because "some foods are gross." I rolled my eyes so hard...
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@jess1483: I like the "showing people you care about them" aspect. She's been talking about that a lot lately, I think because of the DT episode that talks about showing how you love someone.
@Avivoca: We don't have a highchair anymore. I do take her plate away when she's acting out.
@daniellemybelle: We've watched every DT episode like 1000 times and I'm really surprised there's not one on manners (unless I've totally missed it!)
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@BeachMama: Oh! I forgot. I actually wanted to take photos of my kiddo doing all the right behaviors (because kids love looking at photos of themselves), like a social story. But then he's weird about photos and wasn't interested, so I did random internet children. But if he'd let me, I think that would have been even better.
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We've just picked one thing at a time to be tough about, and then added on once he "gets" each thing. So initially, we really just wanted him to sit nicely until everyone was done, then we allowed him to ask to be excused. Then we concentrated on food etiquette and silverware etiquette. He does very well now at 3.5. I just don't think you can ask a lot of them when you really start buckling down about it. It's a lot of rules to learn and keep in practice, so we like to let him learn piece by piece.
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We are struggling through this now with our 2 y/o: throwing food on the floor, feeding the pets, throwing silverware, dumping water.
We just take things away, and explain (kindly) why she isn't going to have it anymore.
I'm resorting to giving her bites on the table as she's ready for them, because if I give her the whole plate, she dumps it.
I think it's about consistency ... but I'm still waiting for the payoff!
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I don't subscribe to all her philosophies but Janet Lansbury recommends giving kids their own small table and teach rituals there - like a warm washcloth to wipe hands, pouring them self a small glass of water, using utensils, and then wiping the table clean afterwards. If they get up and leave the table the food goes away, although no pressure is given to eat or how much.
I know lots of parents get a small table set for their kids so I thought I'd mention it. Perhaps if your kid got a nice napkin and a place setting that was just for their table it would be special?
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For us it makes a big difference if LO is hungry. If there has been a lot of snacking then of course LO is more likely to mess around. So we have set snack times and then it's ok to get "nice and hungry" for our next meal. The choice is to stay in the seat or go sit in the kitchen corner and that's boring, so there is motivation to stay seated. Silverware gets taken away after a warning. And we work really hard to have engaging, positive conversation so there is a natural attention based reward for sitting nicely at the table.
I am surprised there is not a Daniel Tiger episode coming to mind!
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