Hellobee Boards

I'll defer to the teachers on the boards but every little kid I know learns the names of the letters first (hello alphabet song!). And when we play with my daughters alphabet blocks, I identify them the same way you do.

I also don't think you're being sensitive. Being a working mom is so so tough!

I REALLY don't think it matters and I'm sorry your ILs made you feel bad about it!

FWIW I have NEVER heard anyone teach their toddler to say "Ah" instead of "Ay".

I am not an early childhood educator...just a parent. But I think it's kind of insane that your in-laws think the letter A only make the "ah" sound. Since it doesn't. There's the A in apple, the A in crazy, the A in ate, etc.

At her age especially, I wouldnt worry about it. I think it's impressive that she seemed so receptive to learning the names of the letters & domt think it's a big deal, but I'm also not qualified in any way lol i would also be a little upset that instead of thinking her learning something new was great, they criticized you. But it's just one of those things you have to figure out how to ignore, unfortunately.

I think most kids learn the names first. My son has been in two different preschools and both have taught names.

I think in our situation it is also better for him to learn letter names first since he is learning 3 languages and it gets confusing since, for example, A is "ah" in German and French but "ay" in English.

Edit: when I was in kindergarten we had a phonics based program but I remember learning letter names first and foremost followed by he sounds. Like A has a long A and short A sound.

I personally don't think it's that big a deal either way! My kids learned the letters of the alphabet first, and then later learned the sounds. The letter a has at least three different pronunciations anyway, so they're just picking the most common sound. So your LO will still have to learn the other two sounds eventually! I'm not personally sold on the pure phonics approach.

I read once that a number of areas in the UK use phonics systems that teach the sounds first. Not sure if that's still true? Maybe check with your local school system to see how they handle things these days!

A lot of things have changed since our parents' days, so I wouldn't be surprised if what they're saying was right back in the day but is no longer the accepted practice!

J knows this song that goes "I am A, the letter A, I make the sound ah-ah-ah" and he looves it. He's going to be 3 in two weeks and knows all his letters and the sounds they make and I swear it's from this song. I know it's on YouTube because when he came home singing it, I googled, lol.

@Cherrybee: I think it's fine to learn the letters first, and then the sounds!

Is it possible that your parents learned and/or taught using Jolly Phonics? According to Wikipedia, it was once used by 68% of UK primary/elementary schools!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jolly_Phonics

I bought it earlier this year (was doing some research) and didn't love it. They have a pretty decent app though that might be a good segue from letters to sound!

@Ree723: my MIL has been singing this song for months I wondered where it came from. We don't have a leapfrog

@Ree723: I love that toy!!

We teach A (ay) B (bee) etc. She's only 2. I want her to learn the letters first. Then the sounds. That's how *I* am doing it.

LO picked up the alphabet super early before I really taught her too much. I give credit to YouTube's visual and engaging Phonics Song. It goes B is for Ball bbbb ball. C is for cat ccc cat. So I think combination in context is the best.

Aww I'm sorry they made you feel that way! DD learned her letters first and she started reading at 3.5 so I don't think we messed her up. You are doing great!

Every little kid I know has learned the letters before the sounds. You know, like the alphabet song.

My view is that is never a "right" way to teach a child a specific thing, you recognize strengths and weaknesses and design learning plans around the abilities of the children.

As for being sensitive, I do think you're being sensitive, but it's not a bad thing. It's the reality of your situation that your inlaws watch your child. I get it...my parents are with my son for more awake hours during the week than my husband and I.

I've been in the early childhood field (birth to 2nd grade) for over 10 years and have seen in all sorts of ways! Personally, I think the most logical way is to teach lower-case forms and most common sounds first (so not the "extra" sounds for vowels, g, c, etc). I've seen this method give kids a boost when learning to write and read. The English language is ridiculously confusing and difficult to figure out & I think that method gives kids the "base" knowledge to build on.

That said, I don't think doing upper-case, letter names first is "wrong". It certainly won't damage your child! I can see how you'd be sensitive to your in-laws given the situation you described. I'm sorry he made you feel bad!

Finally, I am certified to teach Montessori and my training (although training programs can vary) stated that lowercase letters are used because they are the most often seen/used letters in writing. Sounds are taught first because that is the "important" part of a letter when you are reading or writing. My Montessori does expose uppercase letters, the alphabet song, and names to children but it's not the focus and usually comes after solid sound knowledge.

I think your in-laws need to pick their battles. I don't understand why they think it's a good idea for making a big deal out of it. Plus, there really isn't a right and wrong way. I think the world has changed in a lot of ways since they were young (my go-to logic when it comes to difficult older folks)!

I'll teach my LO the aye-bee-cees to match the song.

Endless alphabet really taught my DD. She recognizes the letters by their sounds and we are trying to get her to learn the names.

I would definitely be annoyed if someone corrected the way I was teaching DD even if both ways are correct. I think when I learned letters I learned them by name and not sound.

@Ree723: Haha! We have the same thing, so the song is now stuck in my head. Just me, or are some of the letters hard to identify if you're not looking at the letter? LO has taken to pushing the button and listening to the alphabet song on repeat. Kid LOVES that song. He learned the names of the letters first, and now we're working on the sounds.

@CherryBee: I'd feel the same way were I in your situation. I learned the alphabet names first, then the sounds. And was reading well before I went to kindergarten. I didn't go to pre-school but had a great older cousin that babysat me during the day. She wasn't around when my brother was a toddler so he waited until school to learn to read. Both my parents worked full time, and there was only so much time they could spend on teaching in the evenings. He was in the first year after our school transitioned to phonics, and it really affected his reading/spelling ability. Plus he also never picked up the love of reading that I did. I realize this is all anecdotal, but I plan to teach my kids the same way I learned.

Also, parents' wishes should trump grandparents' any day. I think it's great that your in-laws are able to help out in caring for your child, but it seems a little insulting that they don't seem to think you're providing for your child's clothing needs. But then again, maybe I'm being a little sensitive myself!