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My son will be 3 in November and he is starting preschool a few days a week this fall, too. I totally understand your concerns. He has been home with me for the past year and before that, he was with my mom while I worked. He's never been in a structured "classroom" setting and doesn't regularly see kids his own age (he has an 11 month old brother).

BUT I taught preschool for 5 years and studied child development/education in college. From that standpoint, your LO will be fine! As a mom, I get the anxieties, but as a teacher, he'll be okay. There may be an initial adjustment period, but he'll have so much fun and learn sooo quickly! Definitely don't be afraid to talk with the teachers and express your concerns. It makes me sad to think about all of the negatives you've mentioned as well, but I think back to my kids I've had in my classes- I literally had ONE who cried until December every morning, the rest adjusted within a few weeks. They all made friends just fine, even if they needed a little extra attention about how to be "nice friends" and share, etc.

Hugs!

I think you will feel better after seeing the facilities and talking to directors/teachers! DD started part time daycare at 10 months, and honestly I was more relieved b/c I was more worried about her commuting 30 min each way to my inlaws house 2 mornings a week before that. I felt comfortable at the center she's at, and was more worried about her not napping/eating vs being abused, etc.

I love everything that daycare has helped DD to achieve; she is amazing with social interactions, new environments, and talks like there's no tomorrow! Try to think of the good things that will come out of it!

My son began going to daycare when he was 2, it was very part time, but before that he hadn't been alone without me, so I too was concerned about the transition.

The thing was, I was waiting for it to get better for him at drop off, and for a long time, it didn't. I spoke to a much more experienced mom than me and she said I had to stop waiting for it to get better, because it might not. And you know, she was right. Once I got past that and accepted that my son would cry at drop off, I was okay and better able to deal.

Having written all that, it might be that your kid has zero issues, so you never know until you try.

eta: I also want to mention that if I had the chance to do things over again, I wouldn't have put my son into his program at the age of 2. Did he get anything out of it, it's hard to tell. The bigger theme was that I left him, not that he was being socialized (if I look at it from his perspective). Had he begun when he was an infant, it would have been a different story.

My daughter went from a nanny to daycare at 18 months and I wondered why it took me that long to switch and think she would have gotten benefit from it earlier than that.

She handled the transition easily, made great friends even at that age, and was exposed to so much more - structure, diversity, language, "field trips", social skills like sharing/teamwork, foreign languages, better mealtime variety, her gross motor and speech delays disappeared, etc. My previous opinion had been that she wouldn't get a lot out of daycare before 2-3, but I was wrong. It's not for every kid and family, but we have been lucky to be part of a caring, educated, trained daycare/preschool center, so looking back I wish we had done it a little sooner.

You won't know until you get him in there how it will go, but at least for your part...go with your gut and I think you'll know if it's the right place bc you'll worry more about whether he's napping well vs. being abused, like @snowjewelz was saying.

You are being normal and have normal worries, but they could be amplified because of your line of work. I'm sure your LO will adjust well. He's going to go to school eventually, so I think getting him in there a few days a week will be good for all of you!

That said, my LO just transitioned to a new daycare last week and it has been roughhhh on all of us. I keep hoping it gets better soon! I feel so bad leaving him when he is crying but they always email me pictures of him within 5 minutes saying he's fine and smiling and playing. Still... not easy for the parents! That said, he loves daycare (he's been in since 4 months) and he learns so much from being around other kids and seeing new places and toys!

You aren't being ridiculous, but I wouldn't let your anxiety about him being "away" from home stop you from sending him.

I think preschool can have huge benefits for kids and while nothing is ever risk free, I think risks of abuse are extremely low. It's like driving in a car. We all know it's dangerous. We do what we can (use carseats) but don't let the risk of an accident stop us from getting where we need to go.

@BabyTsMom: Well, I didn't have a need for full time care from birth to 2 years old ( I was staying at home) and I wasn't planning on returning to work.

In hindsight, what I should have done was to look for a playgroup or some kind of mommy and me class to build familiarity and kind of get him used to going out and having fun. I started one when he was about 16 months, and it was already too "late" for his personality type.

Given what the situation was, if I had my way, I wouldn't have started him in daycare at all, and would have done part time preschool at the age of 3.

@BabyTsMom: it went in waves, it would be fine, then his favorite teacher would be out and it would start all over again. Then about a year in , they closed the facility rather abruptly and we had a revolving door of subs. I finally just pulled him out about a month and a half before our official last day.