Hellobee Boards

DS also had a terrible time with transitions. Closer to 2.5 was when it started to get better, so part of it is riding out the phase. The things that helped me the most were giving multiple warnings before a transition and talking through the transition (describing what we were doing and why we were doing it, and all the great things that were waiting at the next activity).

We use a sand timer and let him know in 5 minutes...The public place flop is harder. Trying to reason with him before starting to walk across the parking lot or street did not help. It was a phase and we had to put him in the stroller and give him lots of fruit snacks during that time.

Yeah, I try to use all tactics to avoid this occurring - I find usually it is related to him being tired/hungry. We tried to go to a later service at church yesterday and the flop happened (too close to naptime!). I just pick him up kind of like a sack of potatoes and go. Not easy since he's screaming and fighting. He is on the lighter side (26 lbs) so for those of you with huge kids that might not be possible.

We did the fake "time to go." Like we would be at the park and say "okay, time to go" knowing we were going to be there for a little while longer. That helped better than warnings because it made him feel like he got a little extra play time out of us. When our son would protest and start fussing and we would say "okay, you can go down the slide 3 more times but then we have to go okay?" He would be excited and say yes, we would count each time he went down the slide, then before the last slide, we would make a big deal like "okay, this is the LAST time and then we have to go bye bye right?" We would make him acknowledge us, then let him slide again, then he'd sorta whine to go slide some more but we would remind him that he agreed we could go. And then we distracted through the transition like, "should we have some fruit snacks?" (YEAH!!) "okay then lets go to the car and have fruit snacks okay?" (OKAY!)

Like others said, it got a lot better as he got more verbal and we could reason a bit. We are also big on the really loud kitchen timer and do not feel bad busting it out whenever, wherever. We also lavishly praise when he DOES do the transition (leave the park without throwing a tantrum, for example) by giving him high fives and verbally complimenting him and giving him a fruit snack or two (they were always in my purse).

Oh yeah, this one is a particularly challenging time. Try asking him questions about his behaviour. Ask him to explain what does his tantrum actually signify? What does he aim to achieve through it. This will encourage him to be quiet to at least think. This will allow you to direct his behaviour toward big boy territory. Ask whether what he is doing is what big boys do. Maybe even suggest an alternative. Say so if you were a big boy, how would you react, would it be this way or would it be to tell me your issue and we can together solve it. Just like a puzzle. Now this may allow the child to not view you as an adversary.

At that age we would use a timer and give lots of warnings. Then when he listened we praised the heck out of it. We were having a tough time with tantrums and our pediatrician told us to praise and acknowledge all the little things he does when he listens. Positive reinforcement worked pretty well for us. But when he was in the middle of a tantrum we either had to wait it out or if we were out of the house, pick him up and remove him from the situation.

@Shree1990: this never would have worked for us in the middle of a tantrum. Once he is gone we would have to wait it out. We always talked about it after though.

In addition to warnings for transitions, for that age they get "do you want to walk or should I carry you?" And that's that. And with both kids we have stuck to pretty strict routines (for getting ready/bed/nap.)

In places where I can't warn like leaving daycare. When we hit outside holding my hand is a requirement if she flops she gets carried. She cries while carried and I just explain that I need her to be safe and that means holding hands walking or being carried. By not holding my hand she made the choice to be carried. We are closing in on 3 and this is less of a battle