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I never had a doula nor do I know anyone who has, but I have many friends who had midwives and LOVED them...??

@oliviaoblivia: the OB usually isn't there for much of it. Mine was there for the last few pushes and then he did my stitches. Good question, though, I might hire a doula this time, too!

We decided against it. My husband is shy particularly around new people. And I think he would feel pushed aside if there was someone else there with us. He's not squeamish at all and he's a great cheerleader for me so I have no doubts that he will be able to provide all the support I need.

Your aversion to strangers is to me a reason FOR getting a doula. Most meet with you at least a few times before the birth, get to know you and your preferences, and are a resource for you during your pregnancy. Without a doula, your support is the luck-of-the-draw nurse you get at the hospital. The doctor will just show up at the last minute.

She shouldn't be a stranger at your birth - most doulas will meet with you three times before your birth, get to know you and your preferences and desires, and continue to keep in contact via phone and email throughout your pregnancy. When you show up at the hospital and are assigned whatever random nurse is available, your doula will be there to provide support, help you understand what is going on, help you ask or formulate questions for your nurse or doctor, etc.

I would recommend interviewing a couple of doulas so you can pick one that clicks with you. Not all doulas are "crunchy", and many of them are happy to support women planning on medicated births. A good doula should never come to your birth with an agenda - her job is to support YOU in YOUR choices, not hers.

Try http://www.doulamatch.net to find doulas in your area, and then interview as many as you can!

Also - doulas don't take the place of dads! Many dads worry that a doula will replace them at the birth, or be afraid that a doula's presence will remove the intimacy of the moment. But a doula can never replace the father's role, which is to be there to love and support his partner. As far as the doula interfering with the intimacy of the moment, keep in mind that she is only one member of a huge group of people (doctor, nurse or two, sometimes a specialist) that will be involved in your birth. Doulas frequently increase the intimacy by keeping the room calm, lights dimmed, battery-operated candles lit, music playing. And doulas will frequently shoo everyone away so the parents can bond with their baby undisturbed.
A doula is there to help the father as much as she is ther to help the mother. The fact of the matter is, our society places a great deal of pressure and responsibility on the father-to-be during labor. A childbirth class isn’t enough to prepare a new, nervous dad to support his wife through what may be one of the most difficult and challenging moments in her life. Is it fair to expect the father to remain 100% focused and calm, when his wife is struggling? A doula can help support the father, so he can concentrate on his wife.

For the father who wants to really be active and provide all the physical and emotional support, the doula can help with hints, reminders, and advice during the birth, so he can just focus on his wife.
Is the mother having back labor? The father may not recognize this, or even know what to do. But the doula is trained to figure out what’s bothering the mother the most, and all the possible ways to help her feel more comfortable. The doula can tell the dad what she thinks would help his wife best, while he does the actual work and support.
The doula can also bring drinks and snacks to the father, so he can keep up his energy during the long labor. She can take the time to speak with nurses or seek out extra pillows, allowing the father to stay with his wife without interruption.

Most labors last several hours, sometimes lasting 12 hours and longer. A doula’s presence allows the father to take guilt free breaks. He can go get a bite to eat, or take a nap, without feeling that he left his wife alone.
Whether he needs to take just a few breaks during labor, or he prefers to switch every hour with the doula to keep his energy up, it will allow the mother to feel supported and cared for continuously.

Sorry for the book! If you have any doula questions, feel free to ask me on my wall!

I'm the same way when not feeling well....want to be alone. And I ended up being alone (but in the hospital) for the first half of labour and I liked that, and I think I laboured faster and braver than if someone was there to complain to. When the nurses would come to see if I was okay I'd just say 'yep'. This was not at all part of my 'plan'...plan was just to go with the flow.

(If you are thinking 'where was her DH?', well, I had sent DH home to have a shower and deal with the dog because I thought I'd be in labour for sooooo long and my contractions had hardly started. But actually, I progressed really fast, and he was pretty shocked when he came back to a majorly-in-pain wife almost ready to push!)

I say go for it, DH and I agreed that having a doula was the single best thing we did for ourselves/LO before she arrived. Money VERY well spent.

If you're planning a hospital birth with an OB, it's probably a VERY wise idea to get a doula. You'll want someone there through the entire process to encourage and help you!