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Would you be driving or flying to get to your parents?
I have seen a few families extend their circle to include parents during this time. If everyone is social distancing with people outside I don’t think it’s necessarily crazy. Are your state(s) in Phase 1?

Our daughter had her 6mo well visit today and I asked the pediatrician about grandparent visits. Her response was that as long as everyone is social distancing otherwise it’s pretty low risk. In our state the numbers of new cases are really low and they’re testing lots of people, so if the numbers are still rising around you/your parents it may be different. If my parents were retired I would definitely want to do something similar to what you’ve described, but they both still work and my dad still goes into work every day, so I’m on the fence about visits, maybe by Memorial Day though if the trend around here continues.

If your worry is bringing it to them could you fully quarantine for 1-2 weeks and then drive to them? Then you would know you weren’t bringing anything.

It doesn't seem crazy per se, I assume all of you have been social distancing for some time so the risk is pretty low. But the flying. That would be a giant, big fat red "no way" in neon letters for me. I guess airports and planes don't have as many people as they used to, but they're still enclosed spaces where you're spending a ton of time with who knows whom. And your kids are too young to understand the importance of not licking their fingers or the seat in front of them, especially the two year old.

Is your husband coming with you? Can you tag team driving?

It is totally rational to want to get support for your family. The current way of working is not manageable long term. How long do you realistically think you will be able to stay with your parents?

To be honest flying freaks me out a bit since you are sharing the same space with other people and even though you have been quarantined it would totally expose you. The drive will be long but doable. We drive 11-12 hours to go visit my family 2x a year and do most of it at night so the kids can sleep. We typically only stop 1-2 times and push through. Ultimately you have to do what you are comfortable with.

@Bluemasonjar: I agree I’d drive overnight. @MrsADS: Flying I think is such a risk because you don’t know who was on that plan before you or where they were etc

I think it sounds like a good idea. Take all the precautions you can, obviously, but I think you shouldn't be afraid to fly. You have to weigh the risks and benefits. In this case I think it's totally plausible the benefits outweigh the risks.

Can your parents come to you instead?

I think it would be ok because of what others have said but I would be extremely hesitant to get on a plane. Just this past weekend there were several instances posted to social media of airlines who said what you said (every other seat blocked, etc) and they were not. So people showed up expecting those precautions and ended up on totally full flights with no other choice but to fly or go home. One high profile one was a group of doctors who spent the last weeks treating patients with Covid then ended up flying on a totally packed plane home. I would be terrified you would be exposed and then you all would get sick potentially. But I don’t know how you could possibly drive that far nonstop either as that would be a safety risk too. Ugh everything is so much harder now.

I don’t think it’s crazy or irresponsible. But i agree with everyone else that the travel itself is the riskiest part. It seems like you would be more in control of the risks if you drive than if you fly. Would the kids use a free standing potty thing (like a training potty)? Then they could stay entirely outside and only you and your husband would go into rest stops to pee. And I think you could get the whole drive done in one (horrible) day.

I think you can also do your best to minimize risks while you fly too. In short i don’t think it is crazy it will just take a lot of thought to do it as safely as possible.

@MrsADS: oh you driving alone does make it harder and make driving vs flying seem like more of a wash. You’ll have to pee at some point and you can’t leave a 2 and 4 yo in the car at a rest stop. And distracted driving trying to entertain them or ignore screaming alone is probably as risky as flying. I understand more why you lean towards flying now!

I feel for you. I’ve been working at home full time with two kids going on two months now and DH works out of the house. Just this weekend I told him we need to get help if we are to keep this up much longer. All of our family is a 12+ hour drive.

In your case even though your house is small I’d have your mom come out for a short period of time. I think that would just be easier than you trying to get there on your own with the kids. Maybe she could come to you for 3ish weeks and then assess. You could even drive back with her and spend a few weeks there then. And that way you wouldn’t have to drive on your own.

I'm in a similar situation, in terms of feeling a little "over it" here on day 57 of family isolation, with 2 kids doing online school and 2 parents working full time (mine is more like part time work at home--thank god, but I still have to hold zoom classes and have zoom meetings and have to grade work). Anyway, with 2 kids and a husband with a stressful job (therefore, he doesn't help much from 8:30-6pm) it's been a challenge.

But--for us, going to either side of grandparents is not really a great idea, because of the travel time to get there. If it were 2-3 hours of straight driving, I'd be all over the idea (since I know they've been social distancing and so have we). His parents are in Canada, and 8 hour drive away, The border crossing could be an issue, but also, his parents are super high risk and our numbers here in the NYC area are high. Just the small risk that we'd pick something up on a potty/gas break and then bring it to them--we'd never forgive ourselves.

My mother is 75, so she's high risk because of age but has 0 other health issues and is super fit/works out all the time. She keeps telling us to come to her in Georgia. But again, that's a 14-16 hour drive and with 2 kids we'd have to stop for several potty and gas breaks and even though my MOM feels like she isn't as much at risk, I personally don't want to risk it.

If I were having some kind of personal mental health emergency and we had to do this, I'd probably rent an RV (but I've actually looked, it's not all that cheap when you factor in the insurance and the gas and most of them can't be dropped off another place, they expect it back where you pick up) or we'd get really crazy and attempt to do a 15 hour drive straight through and buy a baby travel potty and all use that and only pump gas, and take all precautions when doing that--but we'd have to find a way not to enter in public restrooms, just in the small chance someone has been there right before us, sneezing or whatever.

I googled covid and flying, and it still seems so risky--basically they just don't know enough at this point, so it's a risk that someone else on the plane has Covid, and you get it. Airlines are hemorrhaging money, so their party line is that the air is recycled and purified and it's totally safe; but past research of sicknesses on flights (not covid, since it's new, but they've tracked flu type illnesses before), show that planes can be the perfect environment for the rapid spread of viral illnesses. The air is recyled throughout the cabin and the purifiers don't completely clean the air, plus, if a person who is infected sneezes or coughs, the particles can spread several rows from them. They've had international flights where 1 person was sick getting on; be the end of an 8-9 hour flight, half the people on board were infected. Flying to me is a hard no until there's more research (when there's a grandparent receiving us on the other end).

I actually already had a covid test and an antibody test--I haven't had it. So I can still get it/spread it.

If you are just wanting help, how about renting a place for a month somewhere right between you and your parents, and you all meet up there and drive the 7 hours straight through (with 1 gas stop, but no getting out otherwise).

My sister's wedding is labor day weekend in Georgia, and I'm worried about how we'll get there. It's a small wedding, and it's still on. I hope we don't have to pull out of attending, but I guess the dramatic question is, could we forgive ourselves if we caught it while traveling and infected everyone there? Her wedding is why I've been mulling over all the options, myself.

I guess a flight would be safer with adults who don't touch surfaces, and somehow have a properly fitting N-95 or k95 mask, and who change clothes and everything before getting into the car/house of the people receiving them.

Totally there on it being so, so hard to juggle work and young kids who demand constant attention. I'm feeling so worn down already after two months, and it seems like it's only just begun...

I personally wouldn't be comfortable flying to see my parents though. It's so crazy contagious, and as someone who used to have to fly all the time for work, have definitely experienced that planes are petri dishes, no matter how careful you are... I would never forgive myself if we caught it on the way and someone in our family got seriously ill or worse.

Last month we moved from MA to FL (a move planned pre-pandemic). We had some debate between flying and driving and I strongly felt flying would be better for us. At the time, I wasn't sure how safe eating food from drive throughs would be. I also wasn't comfortable staying in multiple hotel/motels (since we probably would've needed to do the trip over 3 days). On top of that, 20 hours of driving with kids and a dog was just a no-go for me.

So we made the choice fly. I figured a 3 hour flight had less touch points than the drive. But then after we'd made the choice Delta kept reducing their flights and we were left with only the option of connecting flights through Atlanta. We didn't change carriers because I was worried Delta would be the only one to let our dog fly in the cabin. But at the time I was really upset about it.

The Boston airport was pretty empty of people. DH and I wore masks and gloves, and had the kids wear gloves. The flights both offered hand sanitizing wipes when we got on, we also wiped down everything with our own clorox wipes. The Atlanta airport was much busier, but we were still able to spend our short layover in some chairs that weren't close to other people.

The flights were both busier than I expected, at least what I could see of them. We had bought our tickets early and then they kept reducing prices and moving our flights around so we converted them to first class for the same price. The first class cabin was full on both flights, but luckily it's less people than coach. I couldn't really see how full coach was because we were pretty much last to board on both flights.

We've now been here for 3 weeks and no sign of having gotten sick. I'm guessing some of it is luck and some of it is the precautions that we took.

I think it's really up to you to decide what you want to do. I am dying trying to do it all - parent two kids, WFH full time (in a management position), and then all the other stuff associated with moving. Travel is not an automatic way to get the virus. But it is stressful and it takes time to feel like you're in the clear.

I would not go unless driving, it is too risky to fly. We are probably going to my parents house (NC to FL) in a week or two. We are going to drive and make minimal stops for bathroom breaks and gas.

We hired a part-time babysitter who started this week. Today is her 3rd day. So far, it's been nice being able to close the door and concentrate on work. Due to my job responsibilities, I'm going to have to do that a lot more in June. Yesterday was kind of a wash because my daughter had a huge meltdown over her zoom session with her class from school. She was really upset, so my husband and I had to spend time calming her down vs. the babysitter who is really new to her. But Monday and today have been much better. (And no zooms today!)