My husband and I have been trying for over a year and half. I'm getting very discouraged. The doctor has asked him to do a sperm analysis and he still hasn't done it yet. 
I know I've been overly crazy about a baby given my age, 36, but sometimes I can't help it. it seems everyone is pregnant or getting pregnant without any issues. It just discourages me further that it will never happen for me.
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I don't really have any advice... just wanted to give you a virtual hug! *hug* TTC can be so hard, especially if you've been doing it for a while. I hope your husband gets the sperm analysis done soon, so maybe you can get some answers.
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*hugs* I can feel your pain. I haven't had a period in over 90 days and my body is just not working at all... I'm feeling extremely discouraged and depressed about TTC.
I also know how frustrating it is not to have your husband as concerned as you are about it. My husband also was supposed to get a sperm analysis done but he has made no effort to do it yet. It seems like everything else is higher priority than getting that done.
I don't think you are being crazy at all. I know how it feels to see other couples get pregnant so easily (heck, some get pregnant without even wanting to).
I'm not going to try and tell you to just keep your chin up, because I know that that is impossible to do. Instead, count the blessings you do have... that's about the only thing that makes me feel better.
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((hugs)))
Why do you think he hasn't gotten a sperm analysis. How about you have you gone to see a specialist yet?
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Aw keep your head up think about it like this some women get pregnant in there 40s just try and stay strong and keep pushing forward
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TTC business is tough! I'm sorry.
Have you gone through the standard fertility testing?
Has your husband shared why he's put off the SA? My husband was reluctant and grumpy about it. I tried making jokes to lighten the mood--didn't work. I tried to point out that he had it easy compared to everything I went through--wrong angle. When he shared how uncomfortable the whole thing made him, I finally understood.
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@pui: Thank you! At least I'm not alone in the fact that my husband thinks I'm nuts for getting upset when AF comes every month. I have put myself in therapy to help deal with the whole situation.
Yeah, his test cup and paperwork just sits there seemingly mocking me every time I pass by it. I asked him to either take the test or throw it away, and he does done neither.
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@Adira: Thanks for the virtual hug, it's needed sometimes.
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@regberadaisy: I can only assume his reasoning is how uncomfortable it is for him. No, I haven't had any testing done yet. And I'm not assuming he is at fault or I'm at fault.
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@mrsloving: Are you tracking your fertility at all? Using Ovulation Prediction Kits (OPKs) or charting your basal body temperature?
You should go and get some blood taken and an ultrasound. That way you can rule out all the possible problems. Maybe if you head to the doctor, your husband will be more willing to too?
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Hugs! It can be really hard once you pass that year mark to keep your spirits up. I think opening the dialog with your husband is the best thing you can do. Have you discussed talking with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) yet?
The Infertility group on HB is so supportive here. So if you embark on the testing, definitely consider leaning on the women here. It was a huge help for me. It took my husband an I 20 months to conceive. We worked with an RE for 7 months before our first BFP.
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Big, big hugs for you. TTC is brutal. I wish I had some advice... just more hugs.
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@pui: I've had 2-3 vaginal ultrasounds and they said everything was fine. I do have a cyst on one ovary, but the doctor assured me that it would not prevent us from getting pregnant. I've also had my blood drawn and levels were all normal. So I have had my fair share of doctor appointments. If it's not important to him, than it's not worth it.
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I'm hoping to just let myself release some stress of trying in the hopes that it will come naturally. I was charting for a few months which just made me more manic if I didn't get a BFP, so I felt better for my mental health to put my energy into other things, at least for the time being.
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@mrsloving: I'm sorry I guess I misunderstood. I thought you said you hadn't had any testing done.
When you did track your fertility signs, did you see signs of ovulation? How long were your cycles? How long was your luteal phase?
Maybe try having a heart to heart talk with your husband... hopefully you can make him understand how much this means to you.
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@mrsloving: I think at 36 most OBs would send you for fertility testing or to see a specialist after 6 months of TTC. So I would assume you would have no issues get a referral after 1.5 years of TTC? Or are you hoping to do it naturally w/o medical intervention?
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@mrsloving: We tried for over a year and a half too. It's so hard. I felt the same way about charting and OPKing. It just started making me more crazy, so I backed off.
My husband reacted similarly to yours regarding his role in the process. What I learned about him was that he was trying to avoid facing his own fear of failure. Everytime I mentioned something he could try to do to help us, he would blow up at me and tell me I was blaming him for us not being pregnant. He's usually such a level headed guy, so this always came as a huge surprise. We eventually got to the bottom of it. He was actually blaming himself and it was eating him up. Maybe your husband doesn't want to do the SA because he's worried that it'll come back with bad results. It may look to us like it's not important to him - but maybe he's scared that it's too important. Men are so weird - so much masculinity is tied up in this stuff! If he knows that you love him no matter what and you are on his side through ALL of this - maybe it'll help him take some of the pressure off of himself.
Have you had your tubes checked yet to see if they are blocked? I had that done a few weeks ago, had a blockage that was cleared, and just got my BFP. Every test was coming back normal and we never would have known about the blockage without the proceedure. -
This may sound harsh, but I would put my foot down. At this point, he needs to be brave and go ahead with the SA. Ask him if he wants children or not. I also would see an RE. OBs aren't always the greatest at handling fertility issues. I am finally pregnant after 18 months of TTC, 9 of which were working with an RE. I began to regret those few months I spent trying naturally after learning I had a problem. If there is a problem, then the fact that your DH delayed is going to create further issues between you. And infertility is hard enough.
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@pui: I'm sorry if I was rude, I didn't mean to be. I did initially say I did not have testing, I apologize. We have a few heart to heart talks about it and it changes for awhile then it reverts back.
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oh honey! you are so right to feel its unfair. its so hard to be in our thirties trying and so so hard for anyone no matter their age to deal with fertility issues. i am sending you hugs and fertile thoughts. i hope you get your baby soon.
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*hugs* you are not alone! we also tried for more than a year, had every test under the sun and were told we had idiopathic infertility. We tried not to stress and continue to have fun baby making but it was emotional and hard. Just know it can and will happen for you. Have faith and don't give up!
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Hugs, lady. Hang in there. Hoping for a baby for you very soon!
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Another month of no BFP and only AF to greet me. But I'm trying to stay positive, but it's been 18 months since we strated trying. Positive thoughts....positive thoughts....positive thoughts
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@mrsloving: I am so sorry! We just started TTC and we have no idea what kind of journey lies ahead. I was also greeted by AF today. Wishing you the best of luck with your next cycle.
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I think you need to sit him down and explain that it's time to get him tested to see if that could be an issue. You seem to have done everything you can on your end, so given the amount of time trying it's time to test him too! Hugs to you!
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@mrsloving: I'm sorry! Did DH ever get his SA? He must know you can't do this on your own...
It's funny, my DH grumbled about giving his sample for our IUIs but not for the original SA. He wanted to know what our problem was as much as I did!
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@mrsloving: I think it probably very hard for him. To think that he is the reason for your TTC trouble. My husband had trouble with the Fertilty testing, too. He felt like he was failing at his one job... To get me pregnant. The idea of him being the reason could really hurt his ego.
You said you haven't done testing yet either. I would suggest having a talk with him and tell him that it could be you that could be causing the TTC trouble. Anything that gets him to think that it's not all his fault. You can also help him by telling him that you will go to appointments with him. This infertilty issue is something that you guys have figure out together. You'll need to support each other. Also, you both have to tell each other that whatever the tests find out, that you'll be there.
Infertilty is hard and if you want to talk I'm here for you. It was already said but we do have a great group of ladies here dealing with infertilty, too. Hugs!!
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UPDATE: DH finally did his SA and we will find out the results this week and go from there.
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I'm glad he finally did it! hoping you get some answers soon!
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Yay glad your DH finally did it! My DH did his too, I find out the results on Friday. I pray they're good.
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*HUGS* I know exactly how you feel. DH and are just hitting the 2 year mark for TTC and it is so depressing. All of the testing and treatments are stressful as well!
I'm SO glad that your husband went for his SA! That's a big step forward. I hope you get good results!
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@pui: I hope your DH test results were good!
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@Sunshine1810: It is very depressing and it seems that it's running in the water that every one is getting ther BFP and I'm still waiting.
Hopefully, both of us will hear good news soon!
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@mrsloving: I hope we do! I agree that it feels like there is something in the water. I feel like everyone I know is either pregnant, or just had a baby. I am happy for all of my friends, but it definitely isn't easy either!
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@mrsloving: Thanks! They were... he's totally normal! whew!
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@Sunshine1810: I agree! I'm happy, but very depressed and confused for why it hasn't happened for us yet.
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@pui: Great to hear! DH received his results as well and all is normal and above average.
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Glad the results were good. I agree- TTC is awful.
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@ameliabedilia Thanks! But it seems AF has come to visit and another failed month of trying.
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@MrsLoving so sorry to hear that
Have you tried acupuncture?
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