There is no right or wrong answer to this! I truly believe that. For some they waited so long to start trying or meet their soulmate that its killing them the first month. Some others might cruise through longer. In my case it didn't really start to get to me bad till this month which is month 5. Month 3 I had a twinge but this month it really started to feel like a drudge and thats actually made me more lax about it. What was your experience? Share or just answer the poll!
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I'm on my 12th cycle and I don't know if it has fully gotten to me yet. I have cried a few times over the months and did have a melt down one night last month, so I voted month 11. But I'm just mostly like "whatevs" about it. There's only so much I can do and worrying won't help.
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Last time maybe month 5/6? I had a miscarriage after cycle 3 and then had some super long cycles -- got pregnant again on cycle 7 but it was 8 months.
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@MrsMcD: that's about how I feel. I'm waiting for AF to start so I can start cycle 15. I had 14 cycles in one year. Sucky.
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I voted cycle 5 because I'm on cycle 4 right now and I was truly dreading starting over again. I got my BFP yesterday, but I'm still very suspicious and cautious about it. If I have to go to cycle 5 because of a chemical, I think it will really hurt.
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It might be different for me since I'm TTC after a surprise pregnancy that ended in MC
I'm only 3 cycles in, but for me it never "started" to get to me. Every cycle has been rough in different (and often harder) ways than the previous one.
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I think around when cycle 4 failed was when it started to sink in that we might have issues.
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Cycle 4, I knew we had had perfect timing and was sure there must be something else wrong...turns out I was right.
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Cycle 5 last month. This is month 6, and I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong. I don't know if I should schedule an annual with an OBGYN, and bring it up, or keep trying another 6 months since we're a "healthy couple" whatever that means.
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Nine months was hard because I felt like that's when my imaginary first cycle baby would have been born if it had worked right away. A year was hard because it just feels like a huge milestone. Two years I basically had a life meltdown.
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It got really hard on month 9. That's when I first started to suspect something was wrong and got a bit depressed.
It got rough again about a year and a half later when I found out DH's diagnosis and then again when our IVF cycle failed.
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This time it was hard from cycle one. The pressure of an ideal child spacing window has made it difficult for me this time around. I also think that having read a lot of stories about how difficult it was to conceive has made me pessimistic about the process and the first time around I wasn't as aware.
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I had a complete breakdown in december, which was our third month on clomid, but was seven months since we started TTC (I had three losses during those months).
I called it quits. I said I'd stick this cycle out since id alrwady taken clomid but in January, I needed a break. I had reached my limit.
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This past cycle, my third. I have wanted to start to TTC since last August, but I was waiting for hubby to be ready, so in a way it feels like so much longer that I've wanted this. I honestly thought it would happen the first time, and when it didn't, I was like okay no big deal, we'll try again. And when that didn't happen, I started to panic, and get upset. Now, I'm over it and I'm trying to focus on everything else in my life and if it happens, it happens.
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I "thought" it got to me awhile ago on month 8 or 9. But now, entering cycle 12, it has officially gotten to me.
I define this by: I've lost most hope and being pregnant has become a very abstract idea and it feels like an ideal situation. Furthermore: I never thought I'd say I needed an emotional break from intervention because I always thought if be willing to do anything (I am) but apparently it is easier said than done. -
@MrsMccarthy: After about 6 months, I started to suspect something was wrong and started worrying. Form then until my laparoscopy was pretty bad. Now, I'm feeling much more hopeful and less confused. At least I know why my body wasn't getting pregnant. As a kid I had a suspicion that I wouldn't be able to have kids. No idea why. Maybe my endometriosis was telling me something. I hope that I can now and that I was wrong!
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Thanks so much for sharing! I really hope you all see BFPs if you are still waiting.
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I was starting to get worried at cycle 5, but ended up getting a BFP. Since I had a miscarriage in December, it's been gutwrenching hard. I'm on cycle 5 since it happened (cycle 4 trying, the first month we weren't allowed to try), and I'm getting more and more terrified it was a fluke and won't happen again.
We used to talk about having lots of kids, and I guess I was over confident it would happen. Now I just want *1* baby, and I will be the best mother ever. I don't think we'll ever use BC methods after this, and will be so grateful for any kids we are blessed with.
I have a hole in my heart that won't be filled until I get that BFP again.
It's getting harder and harder to handle.
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Annoyed at cycle 2, worried at 6, beyond frustrated at 7, losing it by 8, out of hope by 9. It took us just shy of two years, but I still feel the effects of what TTC did to me (mentally, anyway).
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I'm in cycle 1 and having a hard time honestly. I'm suffering from PPA and the TWW is making my anxiety so much worse. I am also concerned about spacing between children and my age. Basically, I'm a stress ball and this isn't helping. Major hugs to everyone, no matter what cycle. It's hard for us all!
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@Crystal: I'm pulling for you so hard. My DH said the same thing. We used to argue about one or two kids, and he said not knowing if we can even get pregnant makes it seem silly now how we debated one verses two kids, and he will be the best dad ever if we can just get pregnant and have one kid boy or girl
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I'd say my 7th cycle, which was about 11 months. I had 2 90+ day cycles at the beginning coming off of BC, so after 7 months/3 cycles, I wasn't too concerned yet. But after another 3 normal (but still 45-49 day) cycles I started to lose it. After 4 more failed Clomid and 1 natural cycle and 20 months later... I'm starting to doubt it'll ever happen.
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@dc yoga bee: @Crystal: Hugs. I'm really pulling for you guys .
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I'd say around 5 months in, when it became clear that something was not right about my cycles.
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Probably after about a year. We just kind of thought it would happen and when it didn't, I found myself feeling really down that it wasn't happening for us and won't happen for us as easily as I had hoped.
Now I'm much more relaxed about it. I don't know how long that will last but I'm going with it right now!
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Month 5 was rough.
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It's almost hard to remember at this point. I know I was getting worried around month 6. I had a mini breakdown at month 12 and we ended up going to an RE at that point. By the 2 year mark and after our 3rd failed IUI I was really depressed. I started feeling better a little while after that. We are now at 2.5 years and just starting IVF. Honestly, I am in a better place now than I was at 1 and 2 years. I think I have come to accept my infertility issues a little more as awful as that sounds.
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@dc yoga bee: I don't know what I'd do without you 6 month + girls! I'm pulling very hard for you too!
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@BakerBee: thank you.
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@Crystal: Your post made my heart hurt a little too! I was worried to announce my BFP to you girls because I knew it'd be hard. Sadly...I didn't know how hard yet.
It's weird to be pulling for someone as much as I'm pulling for myself. lol!
As for my DH, he's torn between really wanting a baby now because he didn't realize how excited he could get at the prospect of one, and not wanting me to be pregnant because he doesn't want me to have to go through another MC. It's a rough choice to overcome!
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There are so many big hugs I want to give!
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@MaryM: that's not weird at all. A lot of times I will be more steeped in someone else journey than my own.
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It started getting hard in cycle 8, but then it continued every month after that. Especially after failed IUIs; they were the worst. I'm on cycle 21 and it doesn't get easier. I am a bit more hopeful after changing clinics and finally getting a diagnosis.
Just gotta remember there are people out there who have been TTC for way longer than me... like years! My
goes out to them. My thoughts have evolved over the past year. 6 months of TTC was so different from 12 months, then 18 months. Let's see how I feel when I reach 24 months.
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