This might sound mean, but I know there are others out there who get invited to play dates they don't want to attend. So, how do you get out of play dates with people that you don't want to hang with?
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Did you already commit to the playdate?
If someone is just casually suggesting it, I think it's easy enough to be non-committal and never propose a playdate time yourself. If they reach out to you with specifics, usually turning them down (big sis has a ballet class, we need to get groceries, doctor appt., etc.) a few times will make your point in a subtle way without necessarily being unkind.
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I just tend to be non committal. For me it's more about not wanting to spend time with the parents. There are just people who rub me the wrong way.
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@PinkElephant: They sent an email asking to set one up one of these weekends. Then I always see them in passing frequently at school.
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@youboots: The woman is nice enough, but not someone I would want a full friendship. And the kid, he's pretty naughty so it's not something I want to hang around.
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I guess you will have to find a reason to turn down playdates in general if she asked like that. Maybe say your weekends are crazy hectic and you couldn't find the time? Or that you have committed to spending time with relatives on the weekends?
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I would just have one play date and see how it goes.
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@Iced Tea: I know, trying to think of something that doesn't sound bogus lol.
@Andrea: Ugh you're so much nicer than I am lol. I know that's probably what I should do, but they go to the same school, were on the same sports team in the past, and have been at a couple of group functions together, which is why I know I don't want to hang out.
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@Boogs: honestly I would probably ignore the email, and if she brought it up in person, I'd say something along the lines of not liking weekends to be super scheduled, saving them for family time, etc.
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@Boogs: Trust me, I dodge a lot of play dates until it seems fishy that we are always busy, lol. But also, if you're lucky, that one play date might satisfy them and they might not ask you again for a long time. I've had that happen a few times.
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@PinkElephant: Our weekends really are usually packed! And DH isn't always home so when he is, I like having the occasional day with no real plans since it's such a treat.
@Andrea: True, true. And maybe with winter coming up it'll get easier to dodge future park meet ups.
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If you don't want to blow her off maybe play up how busy you are and propose group play date with other classmates. Or not. I would probably weasel out of it.
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@Corduroy: I wish someone else was included, let them set it up and flake last minute. Oops maybe that's mean lol. I'm such a weasel.
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@Boogs: Also, all our play dates are drop off nowadays so I'm not stuck making small talk with parents from school. You say that their boy has exhibited some bad behavior so maybe that wouldn't work for you either, but then at least you don't have to socialize with the parents.
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@Boogs: There is a mom who does this to me and I usually just agree to one every so often and it hasn't been so bad. I think we've actually only done like 3 in the past 8 months or something. We also schedule them around lunch so that we have an easy excuse to leave quickly for LO's nap. The funny thing is, after our last one (we did a picnic lunch), I realized I actually enjoyed myself. So you might end up surprised, too. Agree it's tough if you don't want to hang out with their kid though. In our case as well, I feel her daughter's behavior is a bad influence on mine.
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I guess if it were me, I would suggest a low key playdate - like meeting at a playground where you can have the excuse of chasing your kid around if you don't have anything else to say to the other parent. Plus playground implies a short period of time, at most an hour really!
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@catlady: Mine's fault, but he's a follower so I worry about him picking up bad behavior.
@Andrea: I feel mean, but I almost would rather avoid the kid than the parent. Though the mom says she would love for them to be bffs and I definitely don't see that as a good fit!
@psw27: She did suggest a playground, and that's some great advice!
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@Boogs: Plus there is always the "oh he's melting down and needs a snack, time to go!" excuse hahaha... I'm so bad! Maybe she is hoping your LO will be a good influence on her LO if he's kind of naughty!
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@psw27: He's 5 so that never happens, but I would still make that up haha!
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@Boogs: I have done the shameful thing and just stopped answering texts and emails. I'm not confrontational at all. This mom would invite us over and then I would end up supervising/playing with the kids in her daughter's room while she did other things (like visit with her mom). The playdates always had to be at her house because she was pregnant and didn't have a car and it was winter...so after a couple times of that happening I just stopped responding. Probably not the best thing to do, but it was effective
Fortunately she wasn't someone I would run into on a regular basis. I wish I had just had the nerve to tell her I didn't like being left alone to watch her kid, but I couldn't think of a tactful way to say it.
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@Pancakes: Lol I would have probably done the same. So awkward!
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