Hellobee Boards

@FaithFertility: Thank you for the kind words!

@swedishfish: Thanks, I hope so too!

@Crystal: Thank you - I would miss you too!!!

@Mrs. Taco: Thank you! Ugh, sometimes I wish I could just shut my brain off and stop over analyzing everything. My husband and I are both bad about obsessing about things, so we're totally a bad combination! We both end up with too many "pros" and too many "cons" and we're as confused as when we started!

@AmeliaBedilia: Thanks! It is surprising how tough it gets around the 1 year mark...maybe because then you sort of have to accept that something isn't right. I thought we would be excited to go to the RE and just work things out, but it just feels stressful. Hang in there!

@bhbee: Thank you! I think you're right and I should go. It kind of makes sense just to try to figure out what is going on in case we do start trying again.

@mrswin: Thanks! I think my husband is probably in the same boat. He was supportive of going, but I think as the time was getting closer, he has started to get cold feet about it. I told him that I still think I am going to go and he understands and agres, so at least that is positive.

@CatchAFallingStar: Thank you! Yup, in my 30s, so the clock is ticking. I am in my early 30s, so I have a little time. I don't want to wait long though. I'm hoping a break might help us refocus on things and make a decision soon.

@bluestriped bee: Thank you so much for your story! It really can be stressful TTC, especially when things aren't going well. I've been working on my side and coping with taking a break and how I would feel if that break was forever. I don't know. He thinks that we have a great life now and wants to keep it that way, but I've explained that I have planned my life (where we live, my career, etc) based on fitting children into that mix. If we don't have children, our lives will change anyways - I might want to move, my job would become more important to me, I might pick up some hobbies, etc. I think that has helped him realize in some ways that your life is going to change as you age regardless. I don't know if he would talk to a therapist at this point, but it might be a good idea down the road. I have gone myself in he past and always find it helpful in sorting things out. Thanks again!

@Raindrop: Thanks you! I appreciate the support!

@Snowdrop: Thanks for the advice! I think seriously that my husband is very uncomfortable about the SA! I have explained that some places let you "collect" the sample at home and he felt better about that. I think I will go to the RE and will ask and as long as that is an option, I will have him tested too. I just want to know what we're up against.

@Alivoo01: Thanks! I kind of agree with the idea of NTNP. I feel like the odds are low since we weren't getting pregnant when we were actually trying, so it's not too risky. We're sort of doing that now, but agreed to be more careful around the time I'm ovulating just until we feel better about our decision one way or the other. I don't want to get pregnant and be super excited and then have him be like "my life is over!". But i do think it is nice to have the pressure off and just enjoy being together. The whole "I'm ovulating now, let's go!" isn't always the most fun!

@autumnlove: Thank you for the support!

@Mrs tartan: I know, POAS buddies!!! So we're not using any protection right now, but we are trying to avoid the riskiest times of the month around ovulation. We're using the old pull out method...so if I was in high school I would totally get pregannt, haha I do remember your story and totally laughed at it (sorry!)! Seriously though, that is basically exactly what is happening to us. Our friends and family all seem to have kids that are in terrible phases and he has been so traumatized. And then they tell us how awful it is and they are so exhausted, etc. It has really affected him. I try to explain that our parenting would be different than a lot of those couples and that they do grow out of their terrible phases and that everyone complains about everything (work, etc) and it's just part of venting and talking about their experiences. He's still not sold. Thanks for the advice! I think taking a break (and a little getaway!) might be good.

@gingerbebe: Thanks for the support and for sharing your experience! And congrats on your pregnancy!

(Hopefully I got everyone in there!)

Thank you SO much for all of the support and encouragement. I really, really appreciate it so much.

It's been so hard for me thinking that if we had just conceived after a few months, we would have a baby already. Now we might not have one ever. I don't think we are totally out yet though. My husband still talks about it a lot and makes comments, which at least lets me know that it's on his mind and he's not sure...which is a good thing. Hopefully a little break helps him figure things out.

I appreciate all the advice about the RE. Initially I still wanted to go to the RE appointment, but I wasn't sure what to say to them. Then I started thinking about it and getting cold feet. I think though now that I've talked to you guys that I should still go and just see what they say. I will probably tell her that I am still TTC but not sure I want to start any infertility treatments right away. I feel like it would be at least good to know if something was wrong. If we start TTC again, then we would know what our problems were and what challenges we would face.

Thanks again for all of your responses! They really do make me feel much better.

@Happygal: Thanks so much for the advice! I agree that you have to work on the marriage first. I definitely want to make sure we are both on the same page and excited about TTC, not just going along with it. I agree with your statements about waiting on the RE too, so I am a little torn. On the one hand, maybe we should wait until we are TTC again...assuming that someday we will be. On the other hand, I hate to have wasted all this time charting and planning and TTC. It feels like a waste knowing that I would have to start over again down the road, you know? I'd also like to know if something was wrong, which I really worry about. What if it's something that should be treated whether or not I decide to have a child (endometriosis, thyroid problems, etc)? I know I am just over thinking things because that's what I do! The appointment isn't until next month so I have a few more weeks to decide.

@Happygal: Thanks again! Actually it has been nice to take a little break and focus on other things for a bit.

@Adira: Thanks for sharing your story! I kind of wonder if it's sort of a similar situation with my husband. I think he would be a great father and would love it once it happened. I have had a few people tell me that mothers are born and fathers are made...or in other words we always know we want to have a baby and how to be a mother but men don't always get the whole thing until they actually have a baby and are a father. Of course this is a generalization, but I think it could apply to my situation. Thanks again for the well wishes!

@sarahnicole218: Thanks lady! I appreciate the support! How did your TWW go? Are you still taking a break? We are and it's actually kind of good to take a step away from it. It really is stressful and emotionally draining. I'm spending some time now planning for some other things (career, hobbies, etc) and that had been a nice change of pace. I hope things are going well with you! Hugs!

Thanks again for all the kind words! Hugs to all of you

@sarahnicole218: Glad to hear that you are feeling more relaxed! Best of luck with working on your career and your body/health I'm doing the same - I've already lost 10lbs! I swear the TTC stress affected so much more than I really realized. I hope that this little break is just what you need and that in a few months we are chatting on a BFP thread