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I vent all the time to my husband about work! He usually has something to say about it, which is nice, but sometimes he gets more invested than me in a problem and wants to say something. I work in a very small company, so he knows everyone, and when he stops in for a visit sometimes he goes too far talking about what I've talked to him about.

Sometimes he does just listen quietly when I'm really aggravated about something, but that is because he knows I don't need or want any feedback I just need to yell and bitch for a minute.

yep with you! not just work stuff, anything. he grew up with a mother who loves to talk and doesn't really care if you are paying attention, so we've had a lot of conversations about active listening and what I need to get from him in that regard (the norm is often eyes closed and silent which super offends me!). so maybe just express how it makes you feel and make a suggestion. like in my case I want eyes open, with at least simple responses (like "I see what you mean" or "that's so frustrating" or even "uh huh"). it took me a long time to realize he wasn't being a jerk, that was just how he learned to listen growing up.

I try to but my husband has two listening styles - mostly he is a problem solver - like he wants to solve something and can't handle just listening to me vent. His other style is "phubbing" where he is half listening and reading work emails which makes me angry at him and isn't worth the vent anyway. I mostly keep things to myself. I don't have a lot of complaints about work anyway.

@gestalt: I vent to hubby. When I am looking for advice and/or response I just tell him.

“ Hey babe what do you think about this....”.

You won’t belive how work went today....

Hubby usually knows what I am expecting once I communicate it! It sounds like your hubby is doing what he thinks you expect? I’d just let him know...

I don't vent to my husband about work, I have groups of coworkers that I vent to. My husband and I actually work for the same company but in different divisions so we have a lot of the same coworkers, it's better to keep it separate.

I get really frustrated when talking with DH sometimes. He will constantly interrupt me to tell me what I should have done before I have finished the story. Most of the time, the thing he told me I should do is the exact thing I already did but he just didn't let me finish! So sometimes I just don't tell him some stories and it makes me sad b/c I feel a little disconnected at times, like we never talk about things. Yes, we have had many conversations about how bothersome it is when he interrupts me but nothing has changed.

We commiserate with each other about dealing with stupid people We're in different departments at the same company. I've been there longer, but he knows TONS more people because of his job.

It used to be just me working while he was in school, and now that he is working as well, it has really put me on the other side of listening to him and made me more aware of how we do and need to support each other. Sometimes, it really is just a vent, or a 'what were they thinking?' that makes me feel better, versus actual suggestions to improve a situation.

Yes, we work together in our own business so we vent to each other all the time. We basically trade off duties between venting and being the cheerleader. Complaints go up so we have no one to bitch to except each other lol

I sometimes vent to my husband and have zero expectations other than for him to maybe say “that sucks.” If I need to vent I’ll actually preface it with “I just need to vent about this, I know you have no idea what I’m talking about.” He talks about work at length and I generally have zero idea what he’s talking unless it’s about his coworkers. My parents worked at the same place and I also knew everyone they worked with so there was always stuff to talk about, plus they were nurses so had fun gorey stories. I wish my husband and I were able to do that but we aren’t. I mostly vent to my parents about work if I need to because we have dinner together twice a week and they have a fairly good grasp on/background knowledge of what I do.

I vent to my best few friends and a couple of trusted co-workers who all have the same profession, not my husband. But my husband sometimes vents to me and he HATES the way I respond. I ask (interrupt with) clarifying questions constantly and ask why on things that are apparently tangential and it drives him crazy. I think he wishes I'd just stare at him and listen and nod and say "oh". which is not how I'd want to be received! so @gestalt: maybe I can just switch places with your husband