Hellobee Boards

@tororojo: yes! Seriously! Why is it so painful there? When I told the nurse and just said "oh, yup!"

@photojane: started getting the chills, pains, and crazy dreams that make me wake up crying last night. Wow. No one ever told me about that pp stuff!

I have had the crazy dreams! I kept dreaming my baby was stuffed in my pillow case and I was laying on him and would wake up FREAKING out and ripping my pillow out of the case. We don't even co sleep and never have - so weird !!!!

@twoofeverything: yes to the crazy thoughts! In the first two weeks one night I was crying thinking of running away and telling the baby that I will always love him but was leaving because he's better off without me? Wt holy f? And another night said out loud to nobody, god, if I'd known this was so hard I'd go back 10 months and not get pregnant. The thoughts passed but holy crazy town!

I was surprised at the psycho thoughts and random crying jags, and surprised that I missed being pregnant.
Surprised at how much I disliked my husband for no good reason those first few weeks
That there's really no time to do anything, not even read
That breastfeeding would be so hard and so painful for so long.
That I'd still be leaking fluid 5 weeks later.
That my crotch would smell so bad
That my stomach was so hairy (seriously it got so hairy while I was pregnant and I barely noticed!)
That my belly button would be a mess (it's huge! And brown! And leathery! It's so gross!)
That my vagina would heal so quickly - I had a 2nd degree tear but the midwife at my exam last week said it looks like I never had a baby. Of course I haven't had sex yet...

So many surprises! Most of all how totally unprepared I was even though I thought I'd prepared so well! Oh and how much I love DS (just to keep it positive). Seriously an all-consuming, unconditional love.

I had much more pain in the vag than I anticipated. I'd say it lasted a good 10 weeks. Also, I had bleeding until 7-8 weeks which was also longer than I expected. For the first few weeks I bad "gas incontinence" and would couldn't helP letting 'em rip, whenever and wherever. DH thought is was hilarious. I had just 2-3 night sweats and so far no shedding.

I have had depression and bad PMS in e past, so I was a little worried about PPD, but so far I haven't had any trouble. Maybe 1-2 crying episodes. I was surprised that while I was tired, I wasnt as exhausted as I expected.