I thought that this was a decent post - written by a mom who has FF one baby and BF another, so she understands both sides.
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love~! i think she articulates well when it comes to the mommy war type discussions of bf/ffing!
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@Adira: I don't agree at all! Thank you for posting the article, for the sale of discussion:) I realize this is *her* experience, but it is *just* her experience.
I am not spiteful or hateful towards women who bf. maybe I should be, since I tried everything under the sun to make it work and it just didn't...but I'm not. I couldnt care less.
My energy is not into being judge mental and holding comparisons and/or competition: my energy is in taking care of my son an making sure he gets what he needs.I'm tired of us FF moms coming off as being so resentful and as if we think we're inferior. Some moms choose to ff and that's their choice, some moms try BFing and it doesn't work out, some women's bodies never have them the option (adoption). There are so many reasons....why would it be assumed very woman is angry about FF?
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@TurtleDoves: Oh, I definitely agree that not all FF Moms think this way!!! I think that was just how SHE was when she was a FF mom, and now that she's on the other side, she realizes she was misunderstanding people.
Probably most moms aren't like this at all, but I thought it was a good post for anyone that DOES feel like they are being condescending too, because hopefully that's not really the case!
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@Adira: oh, I know you are not necessarily agreein whole-heartedly with her. i know the article is to show both sides and create discussion. I by no means was I attacking you by the way:)) I am jumping into a discussion and that's all...just so you know I am not a bully
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I agree with @turtledoves! I don't hear that from bf moms. When I get defensive it's because I've actually heard direct criticism. The stuff in that article is just annoying for being what it is, bragging. It doesn't bother me though, unless its said by someone who has already given me crap about not bfing.
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@TurtleDoves: hahaha, I don't think you're a bully! I just didn't want you to think that I thought FF Moms were all like that!!
It's also funny how our opinions change. When I was just starting BFing and it was so painful and unpleasant, I really WISHED I wasn't providing enough for Xander so that I'd have a good excuse to quit (crazy mommy guilt wouldn't let me quit just because I was miserable)! I remember actually being jealous of my BFF who wasn't physically able to BF! Plus she'd tell me about the long stretches of sleep her daughter gave her right from the beginning!
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@googly-eyes: I'm sorry that you've actually received direct criticism!!! That's horrible!!! The Mommy Wars drive me CRAZY! I just don't understand why we can't all just be supportive of each other and all the unique and personal decisions we make! No one way is right!
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Oh and I should also say I don't mind all of it on HB posts, and I think places like HB are a completely appropriate place to give oneself (and others) a pat on the back. I love cheering you all on. It's just different coming from people who know me personally and especially those who know I tried... And also I have a few preachy friends, so yeah..
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@googly-eyes: Ugh, judgey friends are the worse!!! I've sorry you've had to deal with that. Friends should be supportive.
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So these articles are great, but I often wonder what, if anything will or can change.
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@Adira: Yeah.. I try to remember that it's really hard for people to see outside of their own experience, and that their hearts are (mostly) in the right place. One of the worst offenders is due with her first baby soon. Hopefully she'll see the light.
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@googly-eyes: Oh man, it's really rough when the judgement comes from a non-mom! I really hope I didn't do anything offensive to my BFF before I became a mom! It's so easy to make snap judgements when you haven't been through the same experience!
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Thats not at all what I automatically hear. HOWEVER, I know BFing moms who mean exactly that by those statements. Ive met many who I wanted to slap the smug off of their face.
I think that articles like this do little to continue a healthy dialogue or promote tolerance or acceptance or end the "mommy wars". I think that will only happen when people learn to mind their own business and trust that we're all doing what's best for our respective families.
I include doctors, peds, LCs, etc in this statement. Give out information in a non-biased way and trust the parents to make an informed decision. Period.
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Good article! Thanks for sharing!
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