So, after his year-long battle with cancer, the time has come to say goodbye to my dad.

Having been told he would probably not make it through the weekend, me, my step mom, two step sisters and their daughters - 9,6 and 4 - gathered around his bedside at the hospice....

He's not in any pain (thanks morphine!) - but he looks awful, of course - he's about 5 stone now - and is drifting in and out of consciousness.

When the time came for my step-sisters to take their respective little ones home, we all came out of my dad's room and I was faced with the most heartbreaking thing I think I've ever seen. My little 9 year old niece, inconsolable. "Why didn't the hospital fix Grandad properly?" she begged? Urgh...

As they were leaving, I told the two younger ones that I'd see them the next day and promised that we'd make up dance routines together and play with the toys they have at the hospice. The 9 year old replied, defensively "And see Grandad....". My heart broke again.

Now I know that kids lose grandparents - I did - and we all get over it.... and I believe it was the right decision to let her see him before he dies..... but.....meh. What can you say??? How can you console them?? How can you make it make sense?? My heart is aching for her....