Hellobee Boards

In all honesty, #1 was my marriage. It's tough to admit but it took us over a year to really fall in love again. We are finally in a good place, but we merely existed together. Roommates. At best. It seemed hunky dory on the outside but we were both holding on to a lot of anger & resentment and just didn't speak if it wasn't necessary.

I will have to say we knowingly put our marriage second to our child. We both decided at her young tender age that she was THE most important thing in our life. And she remains. But at this point know we are able to shift what's in that #1 spot! Sometimes it's her and sometimes it's us. It's about finding a equilibrium for us because we do feel she should be #1 but so should we. Because without us there will be no her!

Ditto to what @babyjmama: said. Don't do that. We are climbing the mountain of repair right now. I wish we hadn't let it slip.

@locavore_mama: Haha. I voted Friendships because I rarely see my friends now, but I could admit that all of those areas slacked during the first year of LO's life.

I voted friendships and it was for sure the wrong move, because I didn't have a lot of support otherwise.

re: friendship. It's a two way street!!! Our two really great friends were really there for us!

I voted relationship with SO. The early days was such a hard adjustment period - I was so happy to be with my baby 24/7 but I felt like SO wasn't being supportive because he never helped with the night wake-ups, I pumped sometimes so he could help feed lo but he only did once, and I think he went through a rebellious stage where he wanted to go out and socialise and drink every week (which meant he stayed at a friends because he was too drunk to come home) Eventually we talked it out though but it did take a while to feel like we were a partnership again but we came very close to breaking up.

I said other, because I let all those things slide more than the others depending on the day. I might have not called a friend back for several days because I was focusing on the housework or maybe I accepted visitors but didn't wash my hair for a week. Nothing feel completely off the map (although I took 3 months maternity leave so work never even crossed my mind).

One thing I "let go" off hugely was trying to please others. I was really able to start saying "no" and feeling okay about it and that has been great for me.

I voted physical self. I was never that great to start with, but oh my god, I've sunk to a new low! I need some maintenance, stat!

@Foodnerd81: my daughter was/is a really bad sleeper. When she was younger it took me almost 2+ hours to put her to bed. And we had no family nearby. So there really was not much alone couple time in the early days.
But honestly our communication level just went down. We went from a 9 in our relationship down to like a 7-8 so nothing dramatic like we needed therapy.

I honestly do believe all relationships takes a little hit at the beginning.

definitely the house. i had to have a long chat with DH about how i refused to let chores pull us down and would rather spend time with LO, get work done or be with friends. we had a maid that comes once a month, but it was/is a disaster in between.

@MrsTiz: And now no one is going to choose that option! Guess I'm the only loser

I think my relationship with DH, specifically our intimate relationship, and my physical self tie. They definitely go hand in hand. Our relationship improved as my relationship with myself improved again.

@mrbee: LOL you silly goose!

I let my house go for sure. I hated having visitors the first few months because I always had to tidy up the place. I would just shove everything in the spare bedroom then pull it back out when our guests left. It is still in disarray but I am happy and my little family is happy so it's not an urgent matter at this point.

@mrbee: LMAO at this comment!

I wish I could have let the house go but Hubby is a neat freak. He is so easy going except for the house. It's really the one thing we fight about. I can honestly say not much had to be sacrificed while I was on maternity leave but after I went back to work, it was definitely our relationship that took the toll. There's only so much time.

Cooking, housework, friendships for sure. My marriage took a huge hit at first, and we still have ups and downs. I get after DH a LOT when he does things differently than I do, and I need to knock it off.

I voted house... But we hired a cleaning lady so it still gets done... Just not by me.