I have a 3-year-old and he takes F-O-R-E-V-E-R to eat and then he refuses to eat after he takes a few bites. He'll even refuse his favorite food sometimes. This is an on-going thing we've been dealing with since he turned 2 or just before. Sometimes he'll eat everything plus more sometimes almost nothing. I try to give him a variety of things to eat and mix it up a bit so it's not the same kind of stuff every day. With a 10-week-old around now it's hard to be creative sometimes, especially if he's not napping or playing happily by himself. What do you do to make your toddler eat? Do you ever let him/her sit there until he/she is finished?
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this is pretty much almost a daily battle in our household. we of course break the rules... whatever works to get him to eat. he would happily skip dinner every night completely if he could.
lately we let him read books on the ipad. he didn't want to eat last night, but i got him to finish an entire bowl of chicken porridge because he was so into this grover and elmo interactive book app.
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We also cheat with videos on an ipod touch. When people are over we'll let him eat in the living room. I'll put out a plate of cheese and crackers and a little plate of his meat (usually ham) and his milk cup, and he eats so much because he's socializing with our friends and usually also watching tv!
We also try to eat with him as often as possible. Usually if he sees us eating (and eating the same thing) he'll eat more, and faster.
These days it's definitely been more of a battle, so some nights for dinner we'll just let him tell us he's all done. Oh, sometimes we can bribe him. If he's reading a book, we'll tell him he can't turn the page until he takes another bite. If he's actually hungry he'll do it.
For breakfast we just feed him by hand and let him play with toys... we have to get him out the door fast to daycare so we spoon feed him because it's the fastest!
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You force them to clean their plate, which they dump over onto their tray and then dissolve into tears and screaming. Kidding, kind of, but this is dinner time at our house.
My son eats breakfast willingly and he loves pastina with cheese or bolognese sauce, but I've learned his big meals are breakfast and lunch. At dinner, he's happy with a yougurt, a wedge of laughing cow and a piece of bread.
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@looch: omg the laughing cow. Wagon Jr. had a blast with that, crackers, and a knife. He was eating chunks of the cheese off of the knife. Which was bad, but so funny.
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similar to looch, charlie eats a big(ish) breakfast and lunch, so if he doesn't eat a big dinner i don't sweat too much. he eats breakfast and lunch at daycare and he always eats better there since he's around other kids.
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Clapping LOL. Ugh. "If you eat that bite, we'll clap for you!" It's extremely time-consuming and labor intensive.
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Our son is only 1 year old but is low weight so he has to always eat. If he doesn't finish a meal, we just put it in his little snack cup and he can take it with him. He typically will eat it all at that point. Or we will remove him and return an hour later to try again.
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When I started having this problem as DD got closer to 2 yo, I would also cheat and let her watch videos on the iPad. She would eat and I would no longer want to pull my hair out every day. Hey, it works.
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He's become a lot pickier lately so we just offer him a little bit of everything on his plate and let him eat whatever he wants. I try to put a food item of different color (like yellow, green, white...or corn, peas, rice). He usually just eats rice + corn + soup if we offer that to him. He loves things with crispy textures so I'll make baked fish sticks or baked chicken nuggets for his protein.
Ok so I have one tip that's kinda cheating but it works. I make him a "fruit" smoothie for dessert every night, which he loves. But he doesn't know that I put in whatever vegetable he didn't eat for dinner. So I'll blend together apples, milk, little piece of banana + (vegetable like peas, spinach, carrots). He loves it cause it tastes like fruit. And I feel better knowing that he's getting his daily vegetable serving. Tricky but it works!
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@banana: I think I am going to start doing this smoothie trick!!!! Do you put cooked veggies in it too??
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My LO's only 14 months, but she eats more when I let her eat with a fork and spoon! I've also tried distracting her with videos of puppies (her new obsession).
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We don't force anything. Toddlers will eat when they need to eat and as long as she's on the growth chart (she's quite low on the chart, but tracking along just fine), then we're ok with it.
Toddler portions can seem ridiculously small to us, but seriously for lunch Lala eats 1/4 PB&J sandwich, maybe 6 bite size pieces of fruit and a 50 cent sized piece of cheese.
My family really pushed food on me (since I was 30 lbs in 3rd grade) and it eventually resulted in an eating disorder. I want my little ones to have a really healthy relationship with food. We try to put no value judgments on what she is eating and avoid praise for eating (since eating is it's own reward).
I think I'm pretty reactionary to my experience, but I've done some reading on the subject and have picked up some recommendations along the way. I think I have a lot more to say on this subject, so I may make it into a blog post!
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@Mrs. Jacks: I would love to read that blog post! We're always so worried about how much he eats (I think he's pretty chubby, but he hasn't gained weight in months, so the pedi wants to see some weight gain) but I'm starting to think he's just thinning out because he's so active. It's been tough to get him to try new vegetables but he'll put them in his mouth now, and we try to praise him as much as possible for giving it a shot. He always spits them out though.
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@Mrs. Jacks: thanks for posting this! would love to see a blog post on feeding your toddler!
I always worry that my LO isn't eating enough, but I never force food on her either. Today she ate a pear pouch, 1/4 avocado, a large strawberry, 3 ounces of whole milk and a little bit of tortilla for lunch (from my burrito). -
@mrs.wagon: Yup, cooked veggies too!
Green beans, spinach, peas, carrots, whatEVER. If i put apples in it, I won't put milk since the apples are watery on its own. Lately he hasn't been eating spinach so I'll make him a smoothie with apples + spinach + 1 baby carrot. He LOVES it. He licks the bowl clean afterwards. hahaha. Sucker!!! I don't force him to any of his vegetables. But I still offer it to him at every meal, even if I know he won't eat it. At least he sees it on his plate. If he doesn't eat it, it goes in the smoothie. hehehe. If the smoothie ends up being too thick, I just put it in a bowl and let him eat it with a spoon. You just have to make sure it's somewhat sweet so that he doesn't "taste" the veggie. Usually a few slices of apple or half a banana + milk does the trick.
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@mrs. wagon: Lala was 19 lbs at 9 months and then didn't gain any weight for a long time (once she started crawling). She now weighs 23. 5 lbs at 26 months and is tracking along at the less than 25%ile. This is what I did when I was a kid too!@chopsuey119: I'll get to work! That sounds like a very healthy meal!
Here we have an obesity epidemic and we're so focused on getting our kids to the 50%ile for weight or above. I think we might be on the wrong track as a country. (Though I have NO evidence to support my claim aside from the increasing incidence of obesity!)
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@mrs.jacks: Can't wait to read your blog post!!!!
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@banana: sooooo sneaky, I love it!! Can't wait to try!!!!
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@banana: hmmm, can you make a meat smoothie? LOL. that's the only thing DD doesn't eat a lot of.
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@Andrea: threw up in my mouth a little. Haha! You can probably put tofu in there though!
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for dinner, she's just not a big eater, and tends to be the pickiest, so I usually just give her her dinner, a small portion of whatever we're eating, and if she eats it, great, but if she doesn't, i try not to plead, or beg her to eat, but she does have to sit there and hang out with us, until we're done eating. i'll still give her some fruit after dinner, which sometimes she eats, sometimes she doesn't. she usually does eat a good big breakfast, and an ok lunch, so im not too concerned with a wimpy dinner. sigh those fickle toddlers.
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@looch: My son's pediatrician actually told me once that as long as they have two good meals a day that's good enough and do the "eat three bites" rule if he doesn't want to eat anymore. My son is all over the place with eating. One day he'll be the best eater and another day he'll be the worst. That's great yours will eat bolognese sauce! I wish mine would! Would make meals so much easier to serve sometimes.
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@andrea: Shoooot, don't think for a second that I totally wouldn't try that! haha. I don't think my son would like the texture of that though. Might be too "bumpy" for him. I like the tofu idea from @Mrs.Wagon. That might be pretty tasty...like yogurt! That way she'll get some of her protein! It's the same thing as chewing all those items it in your mouth anyway. It's just "prechewed".
For meat, since my son' won't eat that either, I just grind it up super finely and mix it with rice + soy sauce (fried rice). Since the rice is dark, you can't see the meat. He totally eats it like it. I buy lean ground beef, cook it, and then grind it up in the food processor so that' it's almost powdery and then make the rice+soy sauce fried rice. Works like a charm! He used to not eat it when he could see it. But with the soy sauce, he can't even tell! I also just offer him meat anyway during his meals, even if he doesn't eat it. I figure eventually he will?
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@Mrs. Bee: @mrs. wagon: @Andrea: I used to feed him and used distraction to get him to eat (books, puzzles, ipad, etc.) but I found out that he wouldn't eat on his own at preschool so we had to nix that ASAP and it helped. The downside to that was that he would take forever to eat which is where we've been at for a while now. I still cheat and feed him sometimes while we're out though...like today b/c I wanted to finished eating lunch before Skyler woke up (he was sleeping in his car seat). I wish I could forever use distraction methods to get him to eat so we can all be happy and finish dinner sooner! I really miss those days of finishing dinner in 10 minutes!
Bee, you're lucky Charlie eats well for breakfast and lunch at daycare. When Nicholas doesn't have school we battle that for all three meals. When he's at school he usually finishes his lunch b/c, I think, all the other kids are eating. However, one of his teachers told me he's their "geriatric" eater.
I couldn't stop laughing when she told me that! B/c I couldn't have agreed more!
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@banana: LOVE that idea! I will have to try that too! More reason to get a better blender that will also make one small cup versus a huge pitcher. I might substitute that for his milk at night since he really doesn't need to drink milk for all three meals anyway!
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@mrs. wagon: haha, kidding dood!! ewwwwww.
@banana: tofu is a good idea!! I also hide the meat by mixing it with rice and pasta but I still feel like she could eat more of it. But I don't force the issue either since she's not low weight and is healthy.
Oh, she does like beans so I figure she gets a lot of protein there.
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@Mrs. Jacks: Yeah, I'm trying not to force him to sit there and finish it, but sometimes I'm just desperate like this morning. He had only 5 raspberries to eat. How hard is it to eat 5?
I mean, my son is not underweight at all but I do worry as a mom, you know? I would love to read more about it on your blog! His pediatrician did recommend the "eat three bites" and be done tip. I've tried that and sometimes it works and sometimes he just outright refuses and pushes it away or makes a mess with it on the table. That's where my patience wears thin b/c I also have a newborn to take care of as well.
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@kakimochi: Yeah, I'm with you on sitting there until we are all done. But most times he's there before we sit down and is still there after we are all done. That's when I do that "eat three bites" and be done with it. Sometimes I'll do the "eat five bites." Works most times...but not all the time. Yes, sigh to picky toddlers!
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@erwoo: Do you have a Magic Bullet? I have one (well...a knockoff version) and I use that to make the smoothie. And you only need a little splash of milk in it to make it smooth. I was surprised how liquidified everything gets. I put in 3 apple slices, 1/4 banana and his veggies and it only makes a small bowl's worth of smoothie/yogurt!
@andrea: Your LO sounds like she's a great eater! I wish my son was like that. He used to be a great eater when I distracted him with TV. He used to eat whatever I put in his mouth! But now that we eliminated the distractions, he's super picky! sigh.
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@banana: I used to grind up all of his food in a mini food processor and feed it to him and he ate like a champ. But as he got older I started just cutting things up or let him eat it as is. I also used to make ground beef, chicken and turkey and freeze them in ice cube shapes and add them to anything he eats for protein b/c he was such a late teether (11 months) so it took a while for him to learn how to chew on meat. After all of his teeth came in I stopped doing that and that's when he got pickier. He almost didn't eat meat if I didn't grind it up so he ate a lot of tofu which is still healthy. He did eventually eat meat but still picks them out from time-to-time. But I really do like your blender idea for veggies and fruits.
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@banana: No, but I am planning on getting one or something similar. One of our better blenders broke so I'd like to find something that could blend smaller portions with little to wash. I hate washing things b/c I already wash so much. Haha! Thanks for the tips!!
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@banana: oh no, if we're at home then I distract her with the iPad. She eats well most of the time at daycare and in restaurants, without the iPad though. It's just that at home, on most days she is eating dinner by herself first, since she eats at 5:30 pm so I understand that it's not that motivating to eat alone but DH doesn't get home until late and I wait for him to eat. I figure it's also the one time of the day that she gets screen time for half an hour so it works for now.
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It helps if we all eat the same thing together. There's a lot of yelling "carrots!" and we all hold up our carrots and eat them. Yep.
Also, she likes things better doused in olive oil or a bit of butter. She's skinny so I figure the more calories the better!
Try not to stress it. Toddlers eat less than babies. It's counter intuitive so we all freak out, but they aren't growing as fast and they just don't need that much food.
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@andrea: I'm seriously considering turning on the TV during dinner again. sigh...The only reason we turned off the TV during dinner is because he is a horrible eater at restaurants so I was trying to get him used to not being distracted. But I don't think it's working. =\ Your LO sounds great. I wish my son would eat well at restaurants and daycare and at home (with or without distractions). I don't know how he turned out to be so picky cause he used to be a GREAT eater. I guess it's another one of those phase things.
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@Mrs. Superhero: we totally do that, too! we have regular rousing rounds of broccoli cheers at dinner
CB is generally a very good eater (so thankful!), so we don't really push food unless he's really eaten very little since we know he won't starve himself. one thing that does work, though, is that he loves to dip things... so sometimes if he won't eat, i'll scoop out some hummus or some other coordinating condiment and he'll dip and eat whatever's on his plate.
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Another option for information is to consider reading the work of Ellyn Satter. Offers another viewpoint.
I personally don't believe in "hiding" food in smoothies, I'd be pissed if someone did that to me, but I totally would do it if I had to with my son. I don't want him to form negative associations with food so this would be our last resort.
Green beans, spinach, peas, carrots, whatEVER. If i put apples in it, I won't put milk since the apples are watery on its own. Lately he hasn't been eating spinach so I'll make him a smoothie with apples + spinach + 1 baby carrot. He LOVES it. He licks the bowl clean afterwards. hahaha. Sucker!!! 
I couldn't stop laughing when she told me that! B/c I couldn't have agreed more!
I mean, my son is not underweight at all but I do worry as a mom, you know? I would love to read more about it on your blog! Reply
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