Your older LO takes a toy from your younger LO but your youngest doesn't know enough to care? My 2 year old will sometimes steal toys from my 8 month old but she doesn't really protest yet. I've told big sis to ask little sis nicely (aka, please) and sometimes she will but little sis obviously doesn't know what that means and doesn't always hand the toy over. I try to tell big sis that just because she said please doesn't mean she has to give it to her. But i also feel strange taking a toy away from my oldest to give it back to her sister when her sister doesn't even care yet. I don't want to condone the behavior but I also don't want to interfere too much and create a culture of tattling down the road. How do you handle things like this?
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We focused on trading first. Thats ok if you want it but offer baby another toy.
Now that he's protesting we are talking more about him being his own person and she has to respect if he says no.
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Trading is good! I also just kind of narrate the situation, "you really wanted X and sister was happy to share, thanks little sister! Do you want to offer her something else?"
My little one has been swiped from a ton and at 14 months she is juuust starting to care.
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My parenting class said trading first too, and it actually works decently and is pretty cute. If the baby is upset she took a toy, we talk about emotions - when you take toys from friends, friends can feel upset. What would be a good friend thing to do to have her feel better?
The other thing I have read and try to do is to be equal in application - I.e. tell the baby that she can find a different toy to play with if big sis is playing with something that she doesn't want baby to touch.
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@Rockies11: I definitely make baby give things back/move away from something big sister is doing, it just feels a little stickier when I have to do it the other way around.
@T.H.O.U.: @Cole: trading is a great idea!! I can tell she's not trying to be mean,she's just not used to all the stuff not belonging to her. She's at the age where sharing would be a struggle regardless and it doesn't bother her sister so I wasn't sure how to handle it without being permissive or too involved. Thanks! -
I get her to bring him another toy. And to ask. I recently separated their toys into their own baskets, too.
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As long as baby doesn't care, I don't mind. We're not at the age where she gets attached to toys yet, but when she has stronger opinions about what she wants to play with, I'll probably ask them to take turns.
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Same as @T.H.O.U. The little one has an opinion, which he should be entitled to, so we tell the older one it's never ok to take away.
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7 comments