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I say "what do you say?" as a prompt.

This goes with something a professor for my early childhood program discussed regarding children's development and cognitive understanding of concepts like thank you and sorry. He really emphasized how making a child say sorry meant nothing because they wouldn't understand-depending on their age of course. It's weird to think about as an adult because typically please, thank you, and I'm sorry are so second nature to us and used so often, but I think we do (for the most part anyway) use them appropriately, understand what they mean, and mean them when we say them.

@yellowbird: same. I generally will say, "can you say thank you?" Or remind her to say please. Frankly it started because it's freaking adorable, and it's a lot less annoying when she demands something but at least says please.

But now she actually seems to understand thank you. She's 26 months and will pause what she is doing, look at me, and say, "thank you for the cheese, mommy", then go back to eating it, or playing with the toy I gave her, or whatever. It melts my heart!

Sorry is a tougher one. I still make her say it when appropriate but I know she doesn't get it. And I make sure to say it to her when I should, like if I bump her or yell or something.

DD is 18 months and I usually model it and also just say "we say thank you when someone gives us something" or "we say sorry when we hurt someone" and many times she will repeat it. She says please, thank you and sorry on her own about 75% of the time.

I think I say "can you say thank you" and also "what's the magic word". I don't care if she's too young to understand what it means. In most thinks surrounding manners, I follow the "start as you mean to go on" philosophy. I don't like changing the rules on her.

I don't prompt at all. I think good manners are important in older kids and adults, but I don't think it matters in toddlers - and I trust that he will develop them on his own through modelling. I am very careful to always model good manners in front of him, and at 21 months he has started to sometimes use please and thank you of his own accord. I just think example is a much stronger teacher than prompting.

@daniellemybelle: lol, exactly what I was thinking as I was typing, "What would Daniel Tiger do?" since it usually gives a decent example of modeling and is how we started the, "I'm sorry's."

@lemondrop: I just kinda feel like it's a part of our job, teaching them right from wrong. If they don't have to apologize then they'll think whatever they did isn't wrong. Yeah, when she was younger she probably didn't 100% grasp it. But that's our job. To teach them it's wrong to hit, it's not nice to hurt people's feelings, etc.

She's 3.5 now and has understood for a while when is the appropriate time to say "I'm sorry". I consider that a check in the parenting win column!

I say "what do you say?" or "what's the magic word?" to prompt. LO's daycare is very big on manners, please and thank you both in her first 10 words.