Hellobee Boards

@littlek: I think some of it is guessing and conjecture. We are told that we ovulate 14 days before our period, and if you know how many days are in your cycle, you can guess that you ovulated on x date.

To me, NTNP is like most have said: Not tracking/temping/etc, but also not using any form of BC. You know you could be pregnant, but you are not timing things to give yourself the best shot, either.

@Crystal: So, I guess this is my main problem with this line of argument. *Most* women do not O on CD 14. *Most* women don't have 28-day cycles. Guessing about O is just way too scary for me - whether I want to be KU or not.

@littlek: Before I ever looked at sites like Hellobee and WeddingBee and BabyCenter, I also probably would have said that trying to conceive is just not using birth control and having relations whenever you feel like it without pulling the goalie.

I honestly had no idea some people start using OPKs (had never even heard of them) and start charting their cycles and looking at CM, etc etc the second they want to TTC. I thought that was something people might try after a year and after going to a fertility specialist.

But after I started reading those threads, I see why some people want different terminology. Some people are actively doing everything they can (tracking cycles, making sure to DTD or the right days, etc), while others just stop using BC and just go about their lives.

Personally, I don't mind the differentiation because if someone posts asking questions, it's good to know if they have been actively TTC (which again, to me makes me think charting, OPKs) or NTNP which may mean they didn't even dtd close to ovulation.

To me, it means you're not protecting yourselves and if you get pregnant, then you're going to be happy about it. If you go out having all the sex and don't protect yourself from what "could" happen, don't EVEN come out and say you had a surprise baby.

i tried ntnp - i wanted to be all nonchalant and just have sex when we wanted, but once you were actively ttc it's almost impossible to ntnp. you can't ignore the signs that your body gives you when it's about to ovulate, and how are you not gonna try to have sex around those times? so for me, ntnp meant i was pretending like i didn't care but i still did.

I am trying not to get pregnant right now so I avoid DTD around the fertility window. Once we are ready for #2, we'll just have to DTD all the time because I am not a fertile myrtle.

@littlek: I wish I didn't have to know about them. Oh man, how I wish that.

@pui: I don't call dd a surprise baby but I would still say I was surprised I was pregnant. Does that make sense at all? We wanted a baby but for I honestly thought we would be ttc longer. (Not complaining but I really felt surprised!)

Ntnp is exactly what it says to me. Not trying as in no timing no opks nothing. No protecting as in when you happen to dtd you don't worry about bc at all.

@mediagirl: I think a lot of people use the "surprise" term differently--from the 15 year old who gets KU on the first try because she doesn't really understand how dtd works, to the woman who's been told she's infertile who conceives 6 years later.

I was definitely a little shocked when I got pregnant, just because I's read *just enough* on WB to become misinformed. So many people there were using OPKs and charting and worring, I was convinced that at my age I would probably have to wait 6-12 months and then go to a specialist of some kind. When we stopped preventing, I totally didn't think about it at all (was busy at work and then had family vist) and didn't notice my period didn't come till I was almost 4 weeks pregnant. Then I tested and was pretty shocked. I mean, obviously it was a happy surprise and we knew it could happen, but we didn't think it would happen with one try. I've always had crazy cycles and had no clue as to when I was ovulating.

I think it's a valid feeling for someone to be surprised, even if they know they aren't preventing and they know how babies are made. Although I admit, when there are "bad surprises" I get a little skeptical myself, since it seems to be fairly obvious to me how to NOT have a baby.

I agree with @blackbird. You're either trying to prevent or trying to get pregnant.

@littlek: I think it is a matter of degree that is purposeful? Like. Some people can be wanting to get preg. and not be forcing it. Like if your body lets you know you are O and you take advantage, I guess that is TTC...but that is a lot less stressful than what TTC used to mean for me which was actually DTD every day after my AF ended until two days after I got a positive OPK. That was active TTC and extremely stressful!

Then again I have some friends who, for religious reasons, are always open to more. They just go about their sex lives. I guess that is true NTNP, but that is more like 'I'm neutral about getting pregnant' vs 'I want to be preg but I am neutral about how I get there or how soon.'

Then there's NTNP people who actually don't want to be preg! And that's just asking for trouble!

Same as others, NTNP means no tracking, no OPKs... just winging it!

I considered myself to be NTNP for a few months last summer - had just gone off BC in July and wasn't going to start actively TTC with OPK's until Sept. This was mostly b/c if I'd conceived right away (July or August), the due date would have conflicted with some stuff we have going on in 2014, but at the same time I would have been totally ok and happy to get pregnant that quickly, and by no means would it have been the end of the world. We knew every time we had sex that it could result in baby, and I have to say it was a little exciting to see if AF would come or not.

We were NTNP. Not tracking other than I used an app on my phone to track when my period came so I kind of had an idea when it would show up. Didn't know when I O'd. Didn't time anything, just did it when we wanted. To me TTC is opks, timing sex with ovulation, charting.. etc.

@littlek: To us, it was not tracking, and having sex whenever without really thinking about pulling out (I was not on BC for years before we started TTC). TTC for me was tracking my temp, ovulation stripes, and really trying to have more sex during my peak fertility window.

Oh I think there's a huge difference between TTC and NTNP. TTC is practically a part-time job, it involves lots of education and planning and effort. NTNP is just having sex the same way you always did, minus the birth control.

For us I still tracked my period and we avoided sex on what would be my fertile days according to my period tracker (based on days only, no temping) but knew if we got pregnant it wouldn't be a big deal. I think my app must be off, because both times I swear I've conceived outside my supposed fertile window!

@googly-eyes: I feel the same way about this LO. It wasn't a real surprise, because I was paying attention, but I was amazed that I actually got pregnant from the few O signs I knew I had. I also didn't think it would happen right away, and I was going to be ok if it took a few more months.

I think others were right when they say it was something that's about your mindset.

to me, the difference is ACTIVELY trying (charting, tracking CM, OPKs, blah blah blah), vs like others have pointed out, INactively trying, by simply not using birth control methods

I would say we "tried" to conceive our first, since I was tracking BBT and we deliberately timed our sexy times around O. I say we were NTNP when we conceived our second, since my cycle hadn't properly come back after giving birth to our first, so we were just getting jiggy with it whenever we felt like it (or whenever the baby was asleep deep enough -__-) but we were deliberately not using BC, because we were okay with me falling pregnant again!