do you know any kids with stepparents? what do they call them? DS calls my husband by his first name, which my husband is fine with. some family and friends think he should be called "daddy" since he is more of a father than DS's biological father is, and they sometimes refer to my SO as DS's daddy, which annoys me because DS's biological father is in his life and that is who he knows as daddy so it confuses him. now i have DS no. 2 who is SO's biological son, so he will call SO daddy. won't it be weird for my kids to call my SO differeny names? what are our options?
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I call my stepfather by his first name even though I refer to him as my dad and he was much more present than my biological father. I've called him it for 15 years so it's just kinda what we are used to. I tried calling him dad for a while but he didn't respond so I went back to his name. My mom had 3 children with my stepfather and there may have been some confusion at first, it wasn't really an issue for them to call him dad and us to call him by his first name.
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DS calls DH by his first name. He's 6 and understands that DH is LO's dad so he'll be ok with that. I'm sure LO will eventually wonder but we'll just explain that DS has a different dad.
DS does refer to DH as his dad a lot though. He just says he's got 2 dads. He's with DH way more than his own father. And likes him better lol.
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I always call mine by his first namex even though my half siblings call him Dad. He is not my Dad, I already uave one!
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@oscarthegoon: no do not make/have ds1 call him daddy! Let him call your SO by his first name if that is what comes naturally to him.
With my first stepfather I made up a nickname for him eventually that we all used. It was the first letter of his name. With my second I call him his first name. So really, first name for both. They are not my dad.
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I call my stepmother by her first name (or sonetimes, when I was younger and our relationship better, stepmommy). She would have been happy had I called her mom, but ultimately decided it should be my decision what to call her.
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I call my stepparents by their first names.
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@Dandelion: I like my stepfather better too
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I don't think DS1 should be forced to call his stepfather daddy until he wants to and only if he wants to. My niece calls her stepmom auntie, "Aunt Tracy" or her first name too.
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My stepdad has been around since I was two and is much more of a dad to me than my biological ever was. Even so, I refer to him by his first name. I usually refer to him as my dad when talking to others and refer to my biological father as my "real" dad or bio dad.
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I think it definitely depends on your situation.
Is the real father in the picture at all? How much is he involved?
Personally, I think if the real father has any involvement then he should not call the step father dad, daddy, dada, etc.
If no involvement, then I think it's whatever your LO feels comfortable calling him.
My boys call me by my first name. I don't and haven't ever cared what they call me. However their mother made it VERY clear that I'm not their mother and they should never love me and they get in trouble if they talk about me at all in a positive way, so they call me by my first name and I'm totally fine with that. God forbid anyone assume they are my kids. She'd jump me.
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My sister's stepson took it upon himself to call her "Smom" for stepmom. His mom and dad split custody, so she was very much in the picture.
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My brother's stepdaughter (6) calls him his first name, and his daughters call his wife by her first name. My brother/sister call my dad (their step dad) a nickname or his first name. It's never been a big issue for anyone.
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My dear stepkids call me by my first name. Pretty sure they do the same with their stepdad.
There was a point maybe four years ago where dsd asked if she could call me mom, and I told her she could call me whatever she felt comfortable with, as long as it didn't hurt anyone's feelings. I think she was trying to figure out how everyone fit together. She used it only a couple of times before switching back to my name. I've never minded.
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He will have the option to call him by his name when he's older. For now we're working on "papa" because his dad is already "dada".
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My stepdaughter calls me by my first name. She call my husband "Dad" and her stepdad "Daddy." We live in a different city from her and see her for holidays, special occasions, and the like, so she's with her stepdad full time and they're very close. My husband is totally fine with it and thinks her stepdad is a great guy and a great father to her. I really think it just depends on how all the parties involved feel about the various relationships and how the child views their relationship.
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When I was younger I called my stepdad by his first name and my brothers (his biological) called him Dad and there was no confusion, they learned that my sister and I had our own Dad.
@oscarthegoon: Your son should call your husband what is comfortable. As long as your DH and DS's dad are cool with whatever DS calls your husband, it's not really up to or the business of your friends and family.
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16 comments