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I'm currently pregnant with my first, but hope to someday adopt my second or third child. I would likely use the term, "birth" or "biological" parent, but I don't have much experience in this area. I don't find either to be offensive, personally.

I'm relatively new to the boards/blogs - do you have an open or closed adoption?

@Mrs. Polish: Ah, got it. Very interesting; thanks for the reply. Do you have a blog entry, outlining your adoption process? I would love to read more about it.

@Mrs. Polish: Awesome; I look forward to your entry!

I think birth parents prefer "birth" or "first"... At least that's what my friends who have placed have advised me.

I'm really curious why those terms would be offensive? I guess I also don't know what you would use to refer to them instead?

Maybe I can say from a child's perspective why it's offensive. I'm not adopted but my situation is somewhat comparable. After my parents divorced, my dad remarried and he and my stepmom pushed out my mom and I lost all contact with her. They decided that my stepmom was my "mom" and my mom was my "birth mother". This was hurtful to me as a child, to take the mother that I knew, tell me she was now just a clinical third party in our lives, and that she was gone.

What they did in general is the most awful part, but what they called my mom really hurt me and I think it's important to honor a child's mother. The name you give her won't make your child any less yours, but it can deeply affect your child's feelings about the adoption for life.