If you have more than one child what did you do to help your eldest feel special during birth and newborn days? I'm getting really sad thinking about my little Mommas boy son and the thought of not being able to give him as much of me. I want to prepare myself with an arsenal of ways to keep him from feeling left out. Aside from making him my helper I was thinking of maybe making some YouTube videos of myself playing with him so he can watch me on tv sometimes. Silly I know but I think it might make him feel less left out when I am nursing or have to put new baby first. I plan to get him a gift when the baby is born as well.
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It's hard at first, but you'll all settle into a rhythm. With my girls, DD1 turned 22 months old the day we brought her sister home, and she was supremely distraught and jealous, especially when I was nursing. (It was also the first and only time in her life DH and I had been away from her overnight, so I think that was also a factor.) It really helped to have family members pay her special attention while I was nursing the baby, and they also made sure to bring her a little something and spend some time cuddling her when they came to visit the baby. After the first week or so, when it was mostly just us, I would read to my oldest while nursing, or let her do something special like play with certain toys just for those times I was tending to the baby, or watch a show. I also still take advantage of nap times and do little "coffee" dates with cocoa, read to her, etc.
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We bought her presents to open the day sis was born.
Other than that, we set aside time for special dates for just her. I took her shopping and out to lunch. My husband took her to the play ground a few times a week when the weather was still nice. Now one of us will take her to the mall, where there's an indoor play area.
We make sure to point our - still, four months later! - that sis is still a baby & she (Chloe) is a big girl, and there are certain things only big girls can do!
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Special big brother present. Cuddling him and reminding him he is special and is my big boy. Dad takes him to do special things on weekends. He's 31 months and for the most part has been very good and has shown no jealousy and has been gentle with the baby. But there are times I miss having all my time with my oldest!
My baby is now 4w and it's still hard because we aren't in a great routine yet. But the baby sleeps in later than us so I try to keep our morning routine the same having breakfast together every day and also have kept nap and bed time routines the same even if the baby is awake and nursing while we do it.
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DD is already showing signs of jealousy toward baby. We worked on the nursery this weekend and she regressed pretty bad with her potty training and kept saying "I'm a baby" or "I need the crib" or "that's was my xyz." So we promised her to take her swimming (her favorite thing to do) this weekend if she was a good girl all week at daycare. And tonight if she has no accidents I will paint her nails (another favorite thing.) We just want these next few weeks to be about her and we will continue talking to her about baby sister and that baby sister needs a lo tof attention but that doesn't mean we wont' still love her and do fun stuff with her too.
I plan on having gifts at the hospital too that baby sister brings, I've already started to get a few things: Peter Rabbit books (her favorite), I'm going to get some Kinnect sand, and other things that will help her keep busy those first few weeks and that will be fun for her. I'm also going to make a big deal of "I'm putting little sister in her swing because now it's E time" so she knows that she gets special time too.
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