So, the context: my kids are 3 and 5. My parents live about 4 hours away.

My dad is an amateur actor, always has been. He’s doing a pantomime this fall, and he wants us to bring the boys up to see it. I really don’t want to and resent being asked - my husband is just starting a new job and has no leave and can’t telework, so we wouldn’t be able to leave until 6pm on Friday, and the kids don’t sleep well in the car. I don’t think they’ll be able to sit through a full play - my dad says “if they want to leave after half an hour that’s fine!” which...sure, except that we have an 8 hour round trip for that half hour! On the weekends my older son has swimming and soccer, my younger son has skating, and I have handbell choir - we’d have to miss them all.

On the other hand, my parents come down to babysit for us on a regular basis, they just spent 3 full days with the boys while we went on vacation, and it would mean a lot to my dad.