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I have to say, I wish I had been a bit more adament about needing some time with just my new family and not a lot of others. At one points, we had my mom, dad, MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL and BIL's girlfriend over, because everyone wanted to watch a football game together, and my LOs were 9 days old. It was too intense, and I ran away to our bedroom to "nurse", as in hold my kiddos and escape from the madness. I honestly didn't mind having just my parents, or just my in-laws (although, we needed to point out that it is not helping if you are just holding the babies. Dishes would be appreciated. DH actually made a list titled, "Helpful Things Grandparents Can Do" and left it on the counter). I would suggest something like that for your MIL, @Cherrybee, it made things go a lot better.

To sum up that long, rambling paragraph- some visitors are fine (I'd limit it to two), and make sure they are totally aware that helping means chores, not holding babies, unless you are sleeping while they hold babies.

We've decided no one for the first two weeks (my Mom will be in the area but at my grandparent's house, and will only come over to prepare meals and help out for short periods of time) so we have time to bond as a family.

After that, visitors are welcome for short periods, but no overnight guests. If they are coming from out of town, they have to stay in a hotel. DH has explained that postpartum is a particularly difficult/stressful time on a woman, and he wants to spare me any additional stress from house guests. Mostly, the reaction has been ok.

Okay, so I may actually be thread-jacking a little here but I needed to share. This thread just prompted me to discuss my worries with DH and he was not supportive at all. Basically, he thinks I'm being unreasonable saying that I want time just me, him and LO in the beginning and it's totally unfair of me to want to limit MIL's visits, even in the early days - apparently I can't dictate to her how often she sees her grandchild - and it's apparently acceptable for her to insist that she is taking the baby out for walk (eh? Is it a dog??) and, thus, away from me (this is something else she's indicated she will do once our LO is born). The conversation ended up with me in tears.... Not good.

@Cherrybee: awwww....to be honest, my husband would think I was insane if I said I didn't want any visitors for the first few weeks. I don't think of it as being supporting or not supportive. Neither of you is "right" in this situation--it's just a difference in opinions/expectations.

Just a generation or two ago, it was expected that parents would come and help and a lot of families are still like that (mine is, my DHs is), so if your husband is expecting something more like that scenario, you guys will have to find a compromise in the middle.

I wouldn't worry too much about your MIL "taking the baby away" at this point. That's a cross-that-bridge-when-you-get-there kind of thing. Personally, having someone take the baby for a bit sounds fantastic to me right now, but I also think my feelings may change after birth. Yours may, too! And if it doesn't, you just say (in that moment), "Oh, sorry, I'm just on my way to go feed the baby", and then you go.

AND, when your LO does arrive, your Dh may realize that it's more work than he thought, and he may not want him mom around as much. If this is your first baby, both of you will probably change your opinions about a lot of things in the first weeks. =)

We aren't even TTC and I really worry about this! We live three hours away from all my family and DHs family (they all live in the same town). I know my ILs and mom/step dad will want to come stay for a few days. Already stressin me hout!!

Our game plan is no one at the hospital besides my parents and DH's parents - and they can't come in until we're good and ready for them. When we get home, no visitors (except our parents) for the first week or two weeks depending on how I'm feeling. My MIL has a scheme that all her family members are passing through town around my due date and she wants them all to meet the baby, but I will be shutting that down. I'm just not comfortable with it. I want to be selfish and rest as often as possible and just snuggle with our new baby the first couple of weeks.