Hellobee Boards

If I have a daughter, I wouldn't push her to like certain things either way. I played dress up as a little girl and turned out to be a perfectly strong, free-thinking feminist, not a brainwashed Barbie zombie!

I'm more concerned about the different treatment little boys and girls often get, even from their own parents. You're "allowed" to rough house with boys, but not with girls, and are more likely to sooth a crying little girl than you are a boy.

Those little things are what cause these strong behavioral differences, I think. It's not the toys the kids play with that make a difference, it's the nature of their play and upbringing.

I've never been very "girly" so we've never really bought pink/princess-y/girly things for our daughter. Sure enough, she loves pink, loves playing dress up, etc... But it's balanced; she also loves animals and books and doesn't mind playing rough and getting dirty with the boys at daycare. I'm not a huge fan of the "Disney" princess stuff, but otherwise we try to encourage her interests.

I know someone also who said no pink or girly gifts. But the second her lo went to school and saw the other little girls all in pink, she wanted it too. Last time I saw her she was in pink from head to toe, including shoes, leggings, and a tutu.

Ill let lo decide what she wants.

Like anything else - "moderation". I think both examples outlined in the OP are probably not in the best interest of the little girl - just the mom projecting her own strong belief system which completely goes against the first mom's claim of wanting her daughter to be able to decide.
My baby girl is due in 17 days (yay!) and we've gone with a "colorful" nursery scheme, which includes pink and purple, along with green, blue and yellow. And since other people love pink girly things, she'll have lots of pink items along with some gender neutral things we purchased on our own.
And her toys will probably be a mix of Barbies and Tonka trucks. I'm going for well-rounded to start with, until she can reach her own conclusions about what she prefers.

I'm not a fan of pink but everything LO owns is literally pink-and it's all been gifts. I can't turn down free clothes but there are days where it looks like pink has thrown up all over her.

@zippylef: Ditto!

I wouldn't mind my daughter dressing up girly if she wants to, but I can't stand all the labeling of princess stuff.

And it's true too! My oldest niece was "princessed" out to the max. She had a NYC princess room with tiaras and glitz everywhere (it actually was super cute), but I didn't like all the "diva" signs everywhere. Everyone always called her princess from day 1. And it shows! She's much more entitled and things must go her way.

Her little sister is totally different! They didn't go as "princess" with her and she a perfect balance of girly, with not so girly. She does get excited over clothes sometimes, but most of the time it will have a puppy or some sort of food on it, haha. But she is much more flexible and friendly!

I really want to stay away from the 'princess' labeling with my daughter.

@Rubies: that's basically my stance. A little girl will decide what she likes on her own, regardless of what you do/don't offer her.

the little girl i nanny for is 5 years old now. I've been with her 2.5 years. Her mother had never bought anything pink or princess themed for her, but somehow that's what she wanted/fell in love with.

I'm okay with the stuff, just not the "princess" attitude. I think that as long as you create a balance with letting a little girl know that a true princess is one with a kind heart, then she can have all the princess stuff she wants. But if my little girl (if i have one) ever did the whole diva/entitlement attitude- I wouldn't hesitate to take it all away in a heartbeat until she got her act together. THAT I will not tolerate. It's easier to fight in a toddler than a teenager - and if there is one thing that is most unattractive in a lady it's the diva entitlement attitude. Sure it starts out cute at 3 years old, but at 13 it's downright unacceptable in my book.

My unscientific opinion on these kinds of things is the more you forbid something, the more obsessed your kid is with those things.