Hellobee Boards

I think this is always an inappropriate question because so many people are struggling with infertility and are hurt by hearing this. I wish people would just stop being so nosy.

Totally feel your pain! A semi-friend said "you should have a baby!" to me a few weeks ago. I was surprised to get it from her, since she had had a m/c and a baby in the NICU.

We have also gotten this a lot lately and have been married just over a year! We are 2 cycles into ttc, but it's so awkward to answer. I just say we bought a house (a year ago, don't know how long this excuse will fly) and we are trying to build back our savings before we bring a baby into the mix. It is such a prying question, and while I kinda expect it from parents, it shocks me when practical strangers (like my patients or co-workers I rarely see) ask! Mind your own business!!

I hate this, too, and my mom is the worst offender! I get that she's excited, but it's so annoying to have to answer that question whenever I see her.

Hang in there... I wish I had some snarky retort to help you shut them up but I haven't yet come up with one. Ill keep you posted if I do

For me I don't think it's inappropriate. I have to deal with my infertility with humor or else I would go mad. So when people tell me I should have a baby I answer back something like, "wow that's a great idea, I never thought of that." it doesn't bother me when people tell me to have a baby or ask when we plan on trying. But I only wish that when people asked when we are going to have a baby they would actually care to know the answer. Or not get queasy when I tell them I don't ovulate and that I only have like 4 periods in a year or that I've been checking my cervical mucus daily lol.

My response to this is when are you having more? Who said I can have kids? who said I want to have my own, there are plenty of children out there that need a loving family? or if I'm in a really bad mood about it I say "do you really want another ME in this world" - they shut up pretty quickly

edit: we are also trying to ttc after 3 years of marriage, but that isn't anyone else's business

We've been married three years and get this question a lot. I've started getting snarky with my answers.

@MRS. LEMON-LIME and @MRSH - why do people think the number of years married is the only consideration in when to have a baby? There are other factors, too!

We get this question a lot and my favorite response is to ask why they are so worried about what's happening in my uterus. I only say it to people that I know have a sense of humor, but its hilarious to see their reactions! I did it tonight to a good friends dad and he about choked on his food, but then couldn't stop laughing and said "touché".

I get asked this question at work at least a few times a week by other staff, parents or students ( I work in a school). My response is always " I have 2 dogs, a husband, and 25 students to take care of every day. I am good thanks!" I also find that if I throw in a comment every once in a while about not ready for a baby, one day maybe having a baby etc it fends off the discussion.
Todays good one- our 7 month old puppy some how got my ahold of my brand new pack of birth control pills and ate them all. My Dh texted me with "um we dont have to worry about our dog getting pregnant this month. She just got your pack of pills from your night table and ate them all. Package and all." I could not help but giggle- to the point of crying! my students were very confused! I could not help but share with a few fellow staff members. (FYI- if they eat them, give dogs a mixture of milk and hydrogen peroxide, that will cause them to puke) 5 minutes later she was outside puking.

I hate this question!!!

Rude on SO many levels!

There was one point I had decided I didn't want kids because I wanted to become a doctor and wanted a career... If I had stuck with that, I would have hated people asking me that all the time. You just never know what people's plans are.

And it's sooo not their business. Oh and what else I hate... people ask like it's no big deal, oh have a baby! you should have a baby! Whereas having a kid is a HUGE commitment on every imaginable level!

sorry for their insensitivity

This is so the worst! It's especially bad because of the whole school issue. I'm a PhD student too, and when my sisters ask, I usually respond, "when you pay for them". Truth be told, its the timing thing that is the hardest, even more than any money issue.We've been secret about our discussions about TTC too, since it is just not always seen as "smart" in my field to have a baby before candidacy if you're a girl. So. Dumb!

I get asked this all the time! You know how things tend to happen in threes (good new, bad new, births, death) this is one of them.