DD2 is 7 days old today and DD1's behavior is out of control. She is very kind and loving to her little sister, but she is disobeying DH and I constantly. Of course I am trying to just cut her some slack and correct her behavior with as much patience as I can come up with, but this is exhausting emotionally and physically. I make sure we get out to the park or some place fun so that she can burn off some energy, and I try to spend a lot of one on one time with her. I know this is all to be expected, but in your experience how long did it take for things to stabilize in your family?
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Honestly? My wee guy is almost fifteen weeks and it's really only in the last few weeks that my big girl is starting to climb out of her funk. We've had a major toilet training regression / refusal, plenty of whining and just general unpleasant behaviour!
I found the change in behaviour and transition to be the toughest part of having a second child because on one hand I understand why my big girl was behaving the way she was and i wanted to acknowledge her feelings but I also didn't want to reward and reinforce any negative behaviours!
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Following!
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It took about 3 weeks. Mine are almost exactly 3 years apart. I think it helped that LO2 was an extremely low needs newborn, she just slept the first 3 months of her life, so I was still able to devote a lot of attention to LO1. LO1 also continued going to daycare as usual, so much of his schedule remained normal.
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It took about 6 weeks for us. Xander mostly ignored the baby, but definitely acted out towards US. We just tried to be consistent with him and give him extra loving when we could, but still made it clear certain behaviors weren't acceptable (like slapping). After about 6 weeks, I felt like I wasn't nursing the baby 24/7 and could actually dedicate some one-on-one time to Xander and things started to get better.
Now at 7 months, it feels like Logan has always been a part of our family and Xander adores him!
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We had no issues, but they are 2.5 years apart.
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@TiredmommaMD: It took about six weeks for us. LO#1 would hit LO#2 and had a major regression. She started to come out of it at 4 weeks, and was pretty good by 6 weeks. Now at 12 weeks, we don't have any usual behaviour (although she is extremely clingy but she always was) and she either ignores or is loving towards the baby.
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It took about a month for us. LO1 is 3 and LO2 is 3 months. New baby was really needy for a while and big sister resented that, but now that things have calmed down she's happier to be around baby brother.
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No issues at 2.5 years apart. I was pleasantly surprised!
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I would say 2-3 weeks. Our major issue was at bedtime. They are 21 months apart.
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No issues at all - they are 20 months apart. Some nights at bedtime were hard when both needed me. But DS1's behavior did not change at all when little brother came home.
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No real issues at 2.5. We were very surprised!
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About a month.
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We had a few nights of bedtime fighting but overall it was really easy. They are not quite two years apart.
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13 comments