I know I'm still brand new at this, but since it didn't work for us this first month, I sort of had a reality check that it wasn't just going to happen immediately...and it might not for a while and I have to be okay with that.
When did you have this moment of reality in your TTC journey and what made you figure it out? Or how many of you got pregnant right away?
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
I knew before we even TTC that I had ovulation issues. So I went into it with a game plan of trying for 3 months and then heading to the doctor. Good luck!
bananas / 9628 posts
I knew before we started trying. My cycles had never been regular. I'm sorry you're going through this disappointment & hope there's a simple fix for whatever issue you're facing (if there is even an issue, it's totally normal for it to take a few months!). If not, there are lots if wonderful ladies going through similar things here & lots of beautiful success stories to bring you up when you feel down. 
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
About 3-4 months in I knew something wasn't right. I was kind of in denial, though, and didn't get real treatment until 10 months in. Conceived cycle 13.
nectarine / 2152 posts
My first cycle off BC was 22 days and continued to be like that, so that was my tip-off right away. I saw an RE after 6 (very short) cycles and conceived with assistance (IUI plus injections) on cycle 9.
pomelo / 5000 posts
The first month can be such a a disappointment! I knew based on the stats that it wasn't likely to happen the first time we tried, but there was so much hope and anticipation. You're right that it might take a little while, and it's smart to be prepared for that, but I hope you get your BFP soon!
I knew that up to a year of trying is normal, but I had also read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and she wrote that you may want to speak to someone after 4 cycles (or something short like that). Our timing was perfect, so I started to worry around month 5 or 6. It took my mom a long time to conceive, and I was concerned I was following in her footsteps.
We're still trying and are on cycle 17ish.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
After 6 months of trying, I realized that things wouldn't just go smoothly. I had that realization again after a PCOS diagnosis at 12 months TTC.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
I knew after four months. Up until that point, I think you hope it will be easy, and four months feels so long when you are ttc.
bananas / 9899 posts
When my cycles started getting longer and longer after BCP wore off. I knew then that something was not right.
persimmon / 1167 posts
I went to a reproductive endocrinologist 4 more before TTC to test my hormone levels, because I knew previously they were imbalanced because of an ovarian tumor I had removed 4 years ago. We did a full fertility screening. We discovered that my ovarian reserve was low and DH had low sperm count, a bad prostate infection (which we sill need to get rechecked) and poor morphology.
We are still only on Cycle 2 and me and AF are at a stand still. I really hope that after years of a regular cycle that now my cycle wants to be wonky while TTC.
pomegranate / 3809 posts
8 months after stopping BC with 2 90+ day cycles I started getting impatient. Then after3 somewhat normal cycles for me (45 days), of BFN I started to wonder. Another normal cycle, 2 clomid cycles and 15 months later... still don't know why it isn't happening. On my 3rd Clomid with trigger, and may try an IUI.
ETA: I started to get bloodwork and u/s just to check for issues after 6 months. HSG at 8 months. I wasn't willing to just wait around for a year before doing the diagnostics to see if they was anything obviously wrong.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
Months 1-3: Super optimistic, assumed I'd get knocked up quickly
Months 4-6: Really sucked when I realized it wasn't going to happen right away--hardest period for me
Months 7-9: Accepted that it was going to take longer than I thought
Months 10: Got BFP, miscarried
Months 11-12: Convinced that it was going to take another almost year to get pregnant, and even if I did, terrified that I couldn't carry a healthy pregnancy. Made an appointment to talk to my OB for January (cycle 14).
Month 13: Got a BFP with my son.
nectarine / 2079 posts
Well for #1 I was lucky and got KU the first month we tried, but I was mentally prepared for it to take longer. This time I worry that it won't be as easy or lucky - so that freaks me out a bit.
grapefruit / 4903 posts
Before we ever TTC. I was using NFP to prevent, and I could tell from my charting that there were fertility issues. Add in a history of ovarian cysts/uterine polyps, and we ended up doing testing to see what was wrong with my cycles before we'd planned to even try. I had all sorts of tests over several cycles and spent the whole time stressing that maybe I should have started trying ages prior. We were lucky - we found out we were pregnant 3 days before the appointment at which I was diagnosed with PCOS.
cherry / 119 posts
@MrsHansen82: I know it's so hard when it doesn't happen how you think it will, but don't get too discouraged - you could very well be one of those women who gets pregnant on the second or third cycle. I know though that doesn't make you feel better now and that it is frustrating and it hurts. Hang in there and talk to everyone on HB. This is such a supportive and encouraging community!
I knew something was wrong probably after three cycles of TTC. At first I just thought I would get pregnant right away because we're both young (ish) and healthy and I have regular cycles. After thre cycles, I still wasn't pregnant so I tried to remain optimistic and started charting to make sure that I was ovulation and timing everything right. After several cycles of doing that, I got pretty discouraged. I'm now in cycle 10 and am seeing a doctor this month to talk about it and begin testing to see if anything is wrong.
I know it's hard not to worry (we should all get to just slap people who say "'relax and have fun!", haha!). But keep in mind that it happens for most people and you have A LOT of options out there to try if it doesn't happen right away or without interventions. Something will work! Hopefully you get a BFP next month and you don't even have to think about it!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@Mrs. Chickadee: "Practice, practice, practice!"
ARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!
persimmon / 1481 posts
Wow thanks for all the feed back! It is encouraging knowing that a lot if other people are going through the same thing. I am happy to say that even though our original plan was to try one month and if it didn't work, we would go on a trip or something. But DH just said last night "Actually I care more about trying to have a baby with you than going anywhere". So cute!!
clementine / 797 posts
I knew on the first date I had with my husband. We both carry a recessive gene for an anemia disorder that can be life threatening so we will be going the IVF with PGD route once we are ready. I also have a lot of other medical issues and have to take several "black box"medications. For that reason alone, my various doctors had been advising me that I was never going to be one of those women who just stopped their birth control pills and went with it.
kiwi / 742 posts
I always knew. But for awhile in my late 20's I was dating a guy, who I thought I would marry, that didn't want kids and I didn't want kids because I suspected I would have trouble. Then I met my husband and I had a want I had never felt to have a baby after 4 months of dating. So I started getting tested to find out why my cycles were the way they were.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@MrsHansen82: I hate to be *that girl*, but you may want to take that vacation...
persimmon / 1481 posts
@septca: haha yes we probably will still go, but I thought his sentiments were cute. All this time I kinda felt like he was doing all of this just because I wanted to have a baby. You know how we women over analyze!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
I always felt it would be difficult even before TTC. When you're together for ten years with no pregnancy scares there's a pretty good good chance it will be hard!
kiwi / 545 posts
I had no rhyme or reason but I sort of knew from the get go that this would be a difficult journey. After 6 months trying we got tested, declared unexplained and after a couple of months, started our path to meds and IUIs.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
@locavore_mama: That's a good point. I was on varying types of BC, but we only had a scare once in all that time.
pear / 1846 posts
I had a gut feeling but was still optimistic in my first three months because I told myself that statistically I wouldn't have trouble. Then I realised my LP was getting shorter and so was my period, I stopped holding out hope that my body was just regulating post BCP and made a doctors appointment. They have found a few things that are a bit off but no time scale for treatment yet.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
My LP doesn't seem to be the same length each month, and it supposedly *always* stays the same according to Dr. Google. My cycles are always 28-30 days usually, so I'm not sure how to feel about it, but I'm on month 4, and it's starting to give me some pause for concern.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
I knew before we started I would have trouble since I didn't ovulate normally or get many periods. I had no idea we would deal with the repeat chemical pregnancies. They told me it might resolve everything to carry LO to term and I will admit, it crushed me to face to more chemicals so far trying for #2. Even when you think you're prepared, it's so emotional with all the hope and disappointment.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I always tried to be realistic knowing that you really never know. I was overwhelmed by TTC information in the beginning, but then I thought hey, I can do this! But 1 month into TTC-ing, I am already so frustrated by my charts. I guess I can't help but feel like if I did 1+2+3 it needs to equal 6!
nectarine / 2220 posts
I was diagnosed with PCOS 7 years before we TTC. When my second cycle off BCP was over 100 days long, and I gained 35 lbs in 3 months while maintaining my usual level of activity and cutting calories compared to what had holding my weight steady for the last three years... I knew something wasn't right.
We conceived after 19 months.
bananas / 9229 posts
I didn't think it would be difficult. Look who's having the last laugh now! Obviously at this point it is difficult and sometimes it feels that way but other times it just feels like it's taking some time. I think the "difficult" point/feeling will come once I need actual intervention (testing, etc.).
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I thought it would be incredibly difficult because I had been on the pill for 10 years and was 34 when we began TTCing.
I believe knowledge is power though, so I had been charting temps for 3 years and had confirmed ovulation several times through OPKs. I am/was also vigilant with my yearly exam and keeping my doctor informed of my plans.
kiwi / 656 posts
I think around month 4 I started to wonder, month 6 I started to panic, month 8 I gave up hope and trying and month 8 I got my BFP. I have no idea if me finally giving up and relaxing helped me or pure luck!
eggplant / 11408 posts
I figured we were going to have issues, because when I was 18 and went to the GYN for the first time, she confirmed that my irregular cycles weren't normal, and that I likely had a lot of other issues going on. Then she added, "oh but don't worry, we'll be able to get you pregnant (when the time comes)." Gee, thanks, lady-good thing I didn't worry about that off-handed comment for 10 years or anything 
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