My DD is 5 and in kindergarten. And she basically can't do anything by herself (such as getting dressed or brushing her teeth) and usually does things as slowly as possible if she does do them. DS at this age would happily get himself dressed in the morning without argument. But she seriously tries to make every aspect of everything difficult. She's still not potty trained (we've been working with a specialist potty trainer for almost a year now). I will ask her to go sometimes and she just refuses and then has an accident. She clings to her brother and drives him crazy, and won't listen when I ask her to stop. As she's gotten older it's much harder to physically make her stop. She often has huge meltdowns about simple things like putting her shoes away when she gets home, or closing the door.

I just don't know how to manage her behavior or where to go for resources. She has no innate desire to listen to us. And I can't send her to her room because she just leaves and comes out screaming any more.

Ugh. Any ideas?